Here's one for all you guys.........

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed: "Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen." God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.

The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping, then drove home to put away the groceries, paid the bills and balanced the check book.

He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog. Then it was already 1P.M. and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and Mop the kitchen floor. Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home. Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework, then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.

At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper. After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed. At 9 P.M. he was exhausted, and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.

The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said: "Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, oh! oh! please, let us trade back." The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied: "My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night."

Sorry for the 'condition' this is in..........I should have had Ziggy retype it for me. :roll:

:fixed:

Is this formatting by Woody?

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Originally Posted by Tyrone Bigguns

Is this formatting by Woody?

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Considering that it is under 5,000 words and their aren't random words in bold font, no this is not formatted by Woddy.

Found this.

A MEXICAN, AN IRAQI, AND A REDNECK GIRL ARE IN THE SAME BAR. WHEN THE MEXICAN FINISHES HIS BEER, HE THROWS HIS GLASS IN THE AIR, PULLS OUT HIS PISTOL, AND SHOOTS THE GLASS TO PIECES. HE SAYS, "IN MEXICO OUR GLASSES ARE SO CHEAP WE DON'T NEED TO DRINK WITH THE SAME ONE TWICE.."

THE IRAQI, OBVIOUSLY IMPRESSED BY THIS, DRINKS HIS BEER, THROWS THE GLASS INTO THE AIR, PULLS OUT HIS AK-47, AND SHOOTS THE GLASS TO PIECES. HE SAYS, " IN IRAQ, WE HAVE SO MUCH SAND TO MAKE GLASSES THAT WE DON'T NEED TO DRINK WITH THE SAME ONE TWICE EITHER."

THE REDNECK GIRL FROM TEXAS, COOL AS A CUCUMBER, PICKS UP HER BEER, DOWNS IT IN ONE GULP, THROWS THE GLASS INTO THE AIR, WHIPS OUT HER 45 AND SHOOTS THE MEXICAN AND THE IRAQI. WHILE CATCHING HER GLASS, SETTING IT ON THE BAR, AND CALLING FOR A REFILL, SHE SAYS, "IN AMERICA, WE HAVE SO MANY ILLEGAL ALIENS THAT WE DON'T HAVE TO DRINK WITH THE SAME ONES TWICE." GOD BLESS AMERICA

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Originally Posted by MadtownPacker

Found this.

A MEXICAN, AN IRAQI, AND A REDNECK GIRL ARE IN THE SAME BAR. WHEN THE MEXICAN FINISHES HIS BEER, HE THROWS HIS GLASS IN THE AIR, PULLS OUT HIS PISTOL, AND SHOOTS THE GLASS TO PIECES. HE SAYS, "IN MEXICO OUR GLASSES ARE SO CHEAP WE DON'T NEED TO DRINK WITH THE SAME ONE TWICE.."

THE IRAQI, OBVIOUSLY IMPRESSED BY THIS, DRINKS HIS BEER, THROWS THE GLASS INTO THE AIR, PULLS OUT HIS AK-47, AND SHOOTS THE GLASS TO PIECES. HE SAYS, " IN IRAQ, WE HAVE SO MUCH SAND TO MAKE GLASSES THAT WE DON'T NEED TO DRINK WITH THE SAME ONE TWICE EITHER."

THE REDNECK GIRL FROM TEXAS, COOL AS A CUCUMBER, PICKS UP HER BEER, DOWNS IT IN ONE GULP, THROWS THE GLASS INTO THE AIR, WHIPS OUT HER 45 AND SHOOTS THE MEXICAN AND THE IRAQI. WHILE CATCHING HER GLASS, SETTING IT ON THE BAR, AND CALLING FOR A REFILL, SHE SAYS, "IN AMERICA, WE HAVE SO MANY ILLEGAL ALIENS THAT WE DON'T HAVE TO DRINK WITH THE SAME ONES TWICE." GOD BLESS AMERICA

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OMG that is absolutely terrible!

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by MadtownPacker

Found this.

A MEXICAN, AN IRAQI, AND A REDNECK GIRL ARE IN THE SAME BAR. WHEN THE MEXICAN FINISHES HIS BEER, HE THROWS HIS GLASS IN THE AIR, PULLS OUT HIS PISTOL, AND SHOOTS THE GLASS TO PIECES. HE SAYS, "IN MEXICO OUR GLASSES ARE SO CHEAP WE DON'T NEED TO DRINK WITH THE SAME ONE TWICE.."

THE IRAQI, OBVIOUSLY IMPRESSED BY THIS, DRINKS HIS BEER, THROWS THE GLASS INTO THE AIR, PULLS OUT HIS AK-47, AND SHOOTS THE GLASS TO PIECES. HE SAYS, " IN IRAQ, WE HAVE SO MUCH SAND TO MAKE GLASSES THAT WE DON'T NEED TO DRINK WITH THE SAME ONE TWICE EITHER."

THE REDNECK GIRL FROM TEXAS, COOL AS A CUCUMBER, PICKS UP HER BEER, DOWNS IT IN ONE GULP, THROWS THE GLASS INTO THE AIR, WHIPS OUT HER 45 AND SHOOTS THE MEXICAN AND THE IRAQI. WHILE CATCHING HER GLASS, SETTING IT ON THE BAR, AND CALLING FOR A REFILL, SHE SAYS, "IN AMERICA, WE HAVE SO MANY ILLEGAL ALIENS THAT WE DON'T HAVE TO DRINK WITH THE SAME ONES TWICE." GOD BLESS AMERICA

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Outstanding :!: :!:

"OMG that is absolutely terrible!" -ly funny! :lol: :lol: :lol: in a sick sort of way.

Well, if shooting people in the head isn't overly offensive..




A husband comes home from work only to be confronted by his very nervous and unsettled wife as he enters his home.


He says, 'what's wrong, you look upset?'


She says, 'honey, I have good news and I have bad news.'


'Ok,' the husband responds, 'give me the good news then.'


'Your brother has a smaller penis than you.'