Dear Nutz, I love your column and hope you can help me!

I am a no-hoper-bum-Aussie-Pack addict, married to a quaint Austrian girl. She says I should get a job, forget the Pack and sober up. Well, I got a job....But she wants the Grand Slam.

I'm not sure how I should gauge the sacrifice versus the reward. Do you have a nice scale that I could use as a measurement?