The Variety Hour

[Partial]

The bartender bought us a drink.

Without heavily tipping first?

I think it was "an ounce of prevention....."

I don't know what skin tipped him, but he had received no tip prior to the free shot of booze.

did you grab his ass after the free shot. thinking he was trying to come on to you guys?

I was thinking man this dude really wants to fuck me. I mean I know I am not that good looking but I carry a hell of a demeanor, woman fear me and men want my pole, what am I supposed to do? Only one former Sears employee can help me with my situation.

[Partial]

Lets take a break from talking about this old drunk guy for minute, I have to predict if it is going to rain tommorow.



Anyways, my father and mother who are both party line republicans for better or for worse, I mean my mother still can't admit that Bush was for all purposes a failure as a second term President. Anyways my father who has an actual sense of humor taught my 2 year old son to say, "Vote for McCain."

I support it, anyways he also bought him a shirt that says, "Little Republican" on it. well we went to the mall yesterday and son was wearing the shirt, and we were at a table eating lunch in the food court there also happened to be one of those weird clothing stores, a trendy skate shop type place for kids that can't actually function a skateboard. Well they have all these shirts with Obama on it. So son was running around and happened to stand in front of this store and this fucking lady had the gaul to tell my two year old son that, "his parents should be ashamed to have him wear that shirt."

Well I went god damn ape shit in the middle of the fucking mall, I told that fat bitch that she should be ashamed to "waddle her fat ass out in public", and to "go suck on the black dick of poverty"

I was ready to slap the bitch and not in a Partial way either, I was actually pissed off enough to choke that salty bitch. I also called her an anti feminist and a woman hater.

Funny thing was that she had a teenage son with her, who wasn't in school by the way, who was too much of a chicken shit to even try and defend his mom's honor, I mean no matter how big of a whore my mother was I would at least feel the need to protect her and not stand against the wall with my eyes bugging out of my head wondering if this lunatic that my mom just royally offended is going snap her head off.

If I wore the shirt, and someone said something to me, I am sure I would have a comment for them, but if you don't have anything nice to say to my kids and you speak to them anyways be prepared to get a tongue lashing that would make Jenna Jamison cum.

Good day.

So, what you're saying is you went off inappropriately in front of your child? Two wrongs don't make a right. But that bitch did have it coming.

[SkinBasket]

So, what you're saying is you went off inappropriately in front of your child? Two wrongs don't make a right. But that bitch did have it coming.

Fuck you cum biscuit. That's the kind of shit a kid remembers and respects his parents for. My dad almost bent a teacher in half once because that mustachioed child molester accused me of cheating and shamed me in front of the entire class in the 4th grade. It's one of the only things I ever respected him for and it also taught me that a lot of teachers are nothing but dumpster diving cum buckets who people trust with their kids mainly because they don't have any other choice.

There's nothing inappropriate about telling someone to fuck themselves and die as long as the situation calls for it. In fact, it may have been the most appropriate thing to do.

[Harlan Huckleby]

how were you cheating? its safe to speak to openly now.

[Deputy Nutz]

Lets take a break from talking about this old drunk guy for minute, I have to predict if it is going to rain tommorow.



Anyways, my father and mother who are both party line republicans for better or for worse, I mean my mother still can't admit that Bush was for all purposes a failure as a second term President. Anyways my father who has an actual sense of humor taught my 2 year old son to say, "Vote for McCain."

I support it, anyways he also bought him a shirt that says, "Little Republican" on it. well we went to the mall yesterday and son was wearing the shirt, and we were at a table eating lunch in the food court there also happened to be one of those weird clothing stores, a trendy skate shop type place for kids that can't actually function a skateboard. Well they have all these shirts with Obama on it. So son was running around and happened to stand in front of this store and this fucking lady had the gaul to tell my two year old son that, "his parents should be ashamed to have him wear that shirt."

Well I went god damn ape shit in the middle of the fucking mall, I told that fat bitch that she should be ashamed to "waddle her fat ass out in public", and to "go suck on the black dick of poverty"

I was ready to slap the bitch and not in a Partial way either, I was actually pissed off enough to choke that salty bitch. I also called her an anti feminist and a woman hater.

Funny thing was that she had a teenage son with her, who wasn't in school by the way, who was too much of a chicken shit to even try and defend his mom's honor, I mean no matter how big of a whore my mother was I would at least feel the need to protect her and not stand against the wall with my eyes bugging out of my head wondering if this lunatic that my mom just royally offended is going snap her head off.

If I wore the shirt, and someone said something to me, I am sure I would have a comment for them, but if you don't have anything nice to say to my kids and you speak to them anyways be prepared to get a tongue lashing that would make Jenna Jamison cum.

Good day.

So, what you're saying is you went off inappropriately in front of your child? Two wrongs don't make a right. But that bitch did have it coming.

Well society might feel it was inappropriate, I don't always play by the rules of society. I tell you what I think that lady with think a second time before eating, I mean speaking again.

This isn't the first time in my life where I have done this, once when I was ten years old or so, I was at a minature golf/batting cages and I was running to get to the car so I wouldn't hold up my friends father and I tripped and fell. It hurt but I got up and this woman goes, "ya kid, you walk much?"

My response was, "Hey lady eat much?" Her husband starting laughing and she was really pissed and stormed off into the parking lot.

[hoosier]

Anyways, my father and mother who are both party line republicans for better or for worse, I mean my mother still can't admit that Bush was for all purposes a failure as a second term President. Anyways my father who has an actual sense of humor taught my 2 year old son to say, "Vote for McCain."

I support it, anyways he also bought him a shirt that says, "Little Republican" on it. well we went to the mall yesterday and son was wearing the shirt, and we were at a table eating lunch in the food court there also happened to be one of those weird clothing stores, a trendy skate shop type place for kids that can't actually function a skateboard. Well they have all these shirts with Obama on it. So son was running around and happened to stand in front of this store and this fucking lady had the gaul to tell my two year old son that, "his parents should be ashamed to have him wear that shirt."

Well I went god damn ape shit in the middle of the fucking mall, I told that fat bitch that she should be ashamed to "waddle her fat ass out in public", and to "go suck on the black dick of poverty"

I was ready to slap the bitch and not in a Partial way either, I was actually pissed off enough to choke that salty bitch. I also called her an anti feminist and a woman hater.

Funny thing was that she had a teenage son with her, who wasn't in school by the way, who was too much of a chicken shit to even try and defend his mom's honor, I mean no matter how big of a whore my mother was I would at least feel the need to protect her and not stand against the wall with my eyes bugging out of my head wondering if this lunatic that my mom just royally offended is going snap her head off.

If I wore the shirt, and someone said something to me, I am sure I would have a comment for them, but if you don't have anything nice to say to my kids and you speak to them anyways be prepared to get a tongue lashing that would make Jenna Jamison cum.

Good day.

Why does poverty have a black dick?

[Zool]

So, what you're saying is you went off inappropriately in front of your child? Two wrongs don't make a right. But that bitch did have it coming.

Fuck you cum biscuit.

Partials new favorite game?

[SkinBasket]

how were you cheating? its safe to speak to openly now.

It must have been when I was out with the pox for a week or so that I had missed some quizzes and tests. This lazy cocksmoker would have us record our own scores on a card to supposedly teach us something about accountability and responsibility or some other excuse for him not having to do it. Well, I was supposed to make up these 3 or 4 tests, score them, and record them myself. I did. In my head. I did well on one, average on the others. Lower scores than usual on account of my still not being up to speed and all. When I couldn't produce the actual tests, it was assumed that I was lying.

My best cheat was the year before, when I didn't do 4-6 weeks of my math homework. I was eventually found out and put on a schedule to make it up. Again, great accountability by these teachers that I could literally just not do anything for over a month before someone noticed. Anyway, it was shortly after this make up schedule was put in effect that I decided not to do the work again, so I hid my notebook in my dresser and told the teacher someone on my bus stole it. Oh, and I told her I had almost finished all the work. I might have cried a little to add some authenticity. She felt bad and let it go. But that's not the good part.

The good part is what that notebook did to me emotionally and psychologically. Hidden under several pairs of jeans, the notebook would call out to me in the night. I feared someone would find it and expose me. That fear grew into a paranoia. I would stay awake until midnight or so, then sneak out of my brother's room and into my room, where my fat diseased grandmother was staying for a few years. I would spend twenty minutes creeping across the room, sliding that dresser drawer open a millimeter at a time, checking to make sure my secret was safe, then stashing it away under my shirts instead. Then I would sneak my way back into my brother's room and sleep, knowing my treasure was safer. This went on for a about a month until I decided to hide the notebook in the woods instead, under some leaves. I would check on it less frequently, but I always knew exactly where that notebook was in relation to myself. A couple weeks later, I discovered some wild animal or the wind had partially uncovered my secret and I freaked out. I checked all the weather faded pages to make sure they hadn't been disturbed. It was then I knew I had to act. I waited until I was the only one home, then took a pair of scissors and cut me name off the top corner of every page. I crinkled these into little balls and scattered them in the woods. Then I opened a bag of garbage already in the can and buried the notebook as deep into the last week's dinner scraps and dirty kleenex as my little arm could reach before tying the bag closed again. The next day was garbage day, I don't think I slept that night as I listened for the sounds of someone going through the garbage to uncover my sinful evidence. When the notebook was finally gone, I was able to sleep again. In the last two years or so, I've finally been getting over night anxiety that would keep me awake for hours staring at the door just in case someone had broken in and was going to come in and kill us.

[Harlan Huckleby]

i thought you might have written answers on your hand.

Now THAT would have been a story.

[Deputy Nutz]

Anyways, my father and mother who are both party line republicans for better or for worse, I mean my mother still can't admit that Bush was for all purposes a failure as a second term President. Anyways my father who has an actual sense of humor taught my 2 year old son to say, "Vote for McCain."

I support it, anyways he also bought him a shirt that says, "Little Republican" on it. well we went to the mall yesterday and son was wearing the shirt, and we were at a table eating lunch in the food court there also happened to be one of those weird clothing stores, a trendy skate shop type place for kids that can't actually function a skateboard. Well they have all these shirts with Obama on it. So son was running around and happened to stand in front of this store and this fucking lady had the gaul to tell my two year old son that, "his parents should be ashamed to have him wear that shirt."

Well I went god damn ape shit in the middle of the fucking mall, I told that fat bitch that she should be ashamed to "waddle her fat ass out in public", and to "go suck on the black dick of poverty"

I was ready to slap the bitch and not in a Partial way either, I was actually pissed off enough to choke that salty bitch. I also called her an anti feminist and a woman hater.

Funny thing was that she had a teenage son with her, who wasn't in school by the way, who was too much of a chicken shit to even try and defend his mom's honor, I mean no matter how big of a whore my mother was I would at least feel the need to protect her and not stand against the wall with my eyes bugging out of my head wondering if this lunatic that my mom just royally offended is going snap her head off.

If I wore the shirt, and someone said something to me, I am sure I would have a comment for them, but if you don't have anything nice to say to my kids and you speak to them anyways be prepared to get a tongue lashing that would make Jenna Jamison cum.

Good day.

Why does poverty have a black dick?

Black people are poor, unless they are on Real House Wives of Atlanta.

[Partial]

So, what you're saying is you went off inappropriately in front of your child? Two wrongs don't make a right. But that bitch did have it coming.

Fuck you cum biscuit. That's the kind of shit a kid remembers and respects his parents for. My dad almost bent a teacher in half once because that mustachioed child molester accused me of cheating and shamed me in front of the entire class in the 4th grade. It's one of the only things I ever respected him for and it also taught me that a lot of teachers are nothing but dumpster diving cum buckets who people trust with their kids mainly because they don't have any other choice.

There's nothing inappropriate about telling someone to fuck themselves and die as long as the situation calls for it. In fact, it may have been the most appropriate thing to do.

No doubt about it there is a time and a place, but swearing at someone and saying inappropriate things in front of the kid puts him on the level as the lady.

I personally don't give a shit, I'm sure it will have 0 long term effect on his kid. It's his kid not mine, I just thought it was funny.

[Partial]

So, what you're saying is you went off inappropriately in front of your child? Two wrongs don't make a right. But that bitch did have it coming.

Fuck you cum biscuit.

Partials new favorite game?

my rseponse when I read the artical was "eww eww fucking ewwW"

[Freak Out]

That teenage kid should have kicked you in the fucking balls Nutz.

[SkinBasket]

A pub/rugby game where a bunch off guys wank off onto a biscuit, and the last one to cum then has to eat it. Also known as wank biscuit or (in America) ookie cookie.
Dan was usually the first one to suggest a round of Soggy Biscuit, but he always played to lose.

Funny the name they chose for the example.

[Freak Out]

A pub/rugby game where a bunch off guys wank off onto a biscuit, and the last one to cum then has to eat it. Also known as wank biscuit or (in America) ookie cookie.
Dan was usually the first one to suggest a round of Soggy Biscuit, but he always played to lose.

Funny the name they chose for the example.

A pub/rugby game?

[Deputy Nutz]

That teenage kid should have kicked you in the fucking balls Nutz.

You are 100% right, but he didn't have the gutso, poor kid has to live with that woman.

Just to be clear, it certainly wasn't a democrat/republican thing, the point was her mouthing off to a two year old.

[Deputy Nutz]

So, what you're saying is you went off inappropriately in front of your child? Two wrongs don't make a right. But that bitch did have it coming.

Fuck you cum biscuit. That's the kind of shit a kid remembers and respects his parents for. My dad almost bent a teacher in half once because that mustachioed child molester accused me of cheating and shamed me in front of the entire class in the 4th grade. It's one of the only things I ever respected him for and it also taught me that a lot of teachers are nothing but dumpster diving cum buckets who people trust with their kids mainly because they don't have any other choice.

There's nothing inappropriate about telling someone to fuck themselves and die as long as the situation calls for it. In fact, it may have been the most appropriate thing to do.

No doubt about it there is a time and a place, but swearing at someone and saying inappropriate things in front of the kid puts him on the level as the lady.

I personally don't give a shit, I'm sure it will have 0 long term effect on his kid. It's his kid not mine, I just thought it was funny.

Your right, I should not have swore, I should have just punched her in the kisser.

[SkinBasket]

Your right, I should not have swore, I should have just punched her in the kisser.

You should have licked her downstairs. You get more bees with honey, my friend. Or is that more honey with bees? Or more money in the honeyhole? Whatever, the point is you should have licked it.

[Deputy Nutz]

Your right, I should not have swore, I should have just punched her in the kisser.

You should have licked her downstairs. You get more bees with honey, my friend. Or is that more honey with bees? Or more money in the honeyhole? Whatever, the point is you should have licked it.

Funny you should bring that up, I was just discussing this with my good friend Art Mooney.

If she was Cougar or a Milf or just a plain jane, the suggestion wouldn't be that bad, I imagine, now remember it could have just been my imagination but I believe that her crotch area was unkept and stinky, and not in a good way, I am talking about the way in which a vagina smells after a tampoon is left unfound for a good month or two.

[SkinBasket]

I believe that her crotch area was unkept and stinky, and not in a good way, I am talking about the way in which a vagina smells after a tampoon is left unfound for a good month or two.

You're right then, you should have punched her right in the vagina to teach her a lesson about genital hygiene. Speaking of which, have you ever wiggled your finger in a girl's butthole until she laughs so hard she farts in your palm? If the answer is yes, were you able to catch the fart and push it back in her laughing mouth?