Fuck me.

Anyway, if I don't lose 12 pounds by Thanksgiving, I'm going to masturbate into a jar then artificially inseminate my neutered cat. How's that for consequences?

I weigh more than most of you today. I didn't exercise today because I'm sick. Everyone's sick. Even the cocksucking cat is sick. He hasn't eaten in two days, maybe three. He might die soon. I hope he does it tonight, because the garbage truck comes tomorrow. I last exercised last Wednesday, when I submitted two blue belts at jiu jitsu. One of them blew snot all over his face while I choked him. The other just gave up because I was suffocating him in my loins while working a kimura on his old ass.

Breakfast: water.
Lunch: Frappachino. Vanilla.
Dinner: Fried rice, tortilla chips and salsa con queso (that means cheese with salsa madtown) and like 5 or 6 mini candy bars.


I used to love you. Now I would throw you down a well without a second thought.