Questions that need to be answered

[mraynrand]

I ran out of mustard and now have to buy a new bottle. It's just plain old yellow mustard, nothing fancy. So what the hell am I supposed to do? There are like 10 brands that all look alike, and some crappy store brand produced at the same factory as one of the name brands, except that the bottle looks like it has herpes. Which brand should I choose?

French's
Plochman's
Heinz (should I let politics get in the way of a good yellow mustard)
other?

This is the dark side of Adam Smith's invisible dead hand - so many choices and no way to tell the difference.

Your first problem is you've got the wrong color. Any Duseldorff will do....

Dammit Roark, I already have the other kind. I explained this. I need some standard frickin' yellow mustard. You think kids want that brown crap on their hot dog?

But of course, would you care for any Grey Poupon? Like hell I would.