Dear chefs,

[SkinBasket]

Since we seems to have an abnormal amount of people with cheffing expertise, I thought I would start a thread were I and others, if they exist, can post for help on what the motherfuck went wrong with what I was cooking.

So to kick it off, I start with celery root puree, which was meant to provide a nice earthy bitter compliment to a couple steaks in the same manner blue cheese might.

I skinned and diced the root. simmered it for about 15 minutes in chicken broth and garlic with some salt until it was soft then we slapped it in the processor with a little butter and heavy cream.

It smelled great, but tasted like ass. The bitterness was still overwhelming on the back end. How can this be resolved next time?

[Freak Out]

Chicken broth? WTF? More milk (1cup) and a little more butter perhaps...cook with a few potatoes and add salt, pepper and nutmeg. Blend the fuck out of it and salt/pepper to taste.

When cooking roots like that always salt the water a bit before boiling....they should be boiled....don't sauté them.

[MJZiggy]

Ok, I have this problem every time I cook pork chops. I do the whole egg and breading thing (this time I put just a touch of honey in the egg, but it crusts up and falls off the chops when I cook them--or I end up with overcooked breading and undercooked meat in the middle.

[hoosier]

Ok, I have this problem every time I cook pork chops. I do the whole egg and breading thing (this time I put just a touch of honey in the egg, but it crusts up and falls off the chops when I cook them--or I end up with overcooked breading and undercooked meat in the middle.

What do you do to them before you bread them? I would be bringing them close to room temp, drying them, add a dusting of flour and dip them in beaten eggs, and only then dip them in the bread crumbs or whatever. Then--very important--add them to a frying pan that is already hot (don't add oil till just before pork chops or it'll burn) so that they, or the breading, don't stick to the pan. Turn down the heat to mediumish and, if possible, only turn them once.

[HowardRoark]

Ok, I have this problem every time I cook pork chops. I do the whole egg and breading thing (this time I put just a touch of honey in the egg, but it crusts up and falls off the chops when I cook them--or I end up with overcooked breading and undercooked meat in the middle.

What do you do to them before you bread them? I would be bringing them close to room temp, drying them, add a dusting of flour and dip them in beaten eggs, and only then dip them in the bread crumbs or whatever. Then--very important--add them to a frying pan that is already hot (don't add oil till just before pork chops or it'll burn) so that they, or the breading, don't stick to the pan. Turn down the heat to mediumish and, if possible, only turn them once.

Just like making Wienerschnitzel:

Veal Wienerschnitzel

* 4 4 48-ounce veal scaloppini
* Salt and pepper
* Flour for dusting
* 2 eggs, plus 2 tablespoons water, beaten, for egg wash
* Panko, processed into fine crumbs, or fresh dried white breadcrumbs
* Peanut oil for frying

4. To prepare Wienerschnitzel: Season the veal scaloppini with salt and pepper. Dredge in flour. Dip in egg wash. Coat with panko or breadcrumbs. Score the coated scaloppini with four shallow knife cuts in a cross-hatch pattern to help prevent curling while cooking. Deep fry about 3 minutes, or until golden brown and cooked through. Transfer to paper towels to drain.

[hoosier]

Ok, I have this problem every time I cook pork chops. I do the whole egg and breading thing (this time I put just a touch of honey in the egg, but it crusts up and falls off the chops when I cook them--or I end up with overcooked breading and undercooked meat in the middle.

What do you do to them before you bread them? I would be bringing them close to room temp, drying them, add a dusting of flour and dip them in beaten eggs, and only then dip them in the bread crumbs or whatever. Then--very important--add them to a frying pan that is already hot (don't add oil till just before pork chops or it'll burn) so that they, or the breading, don't stick to the pan. Turn down the heat to mediumish and, if possible, only turn them once.

Just like making Wienerschnitzel:

Veal Wienerschnitzel

* 4 4 48-ounce veal scaloppini
* Salt and pepper
* Flour for dusting
* 2 eggs, plus 2 tablespoons water, beaten, for egg wash
* Panko, processed into fine crumbs, or fresh dried white breadcrumbs
* Peanut oil for frying

4. To prepare Wienerschnitzel: Season the veal scaloppini with salt and pepper. Dredge in flour. Dip in egg wash. Coat with panko or breadcrumbs. Score the coated scaloppini with four shallow knife cuts in a cross-hatch pattern to help prevent curling while cooking. Deep fry about 3 minutes, or until golden brown and cooked through. Transfer to paper towels to drain.

What are you, feeding the Austro-Hungarian army?

[MJZiggy]

Ok, I have this problem every time I cook pork chops. I do the whole egg and breading thing (this time I put just a touch of honey in the egg, but it crusts up and falls off the chops when I cook them--or I end up with overcooked breading and undercooked meat in the middle.

What do you do to them before you bread them? I would be bringing them close to room temp, drying them, add a dusting of flour and dip them in beaten eggs, and only then dip them in the bread crumbs or whatever. Then--very important--add them to a frying pan that is already hot (don't add oil till just before pork chops or it'll burn) so that they, or the breading, don't stick to the pan. Turn down the heat to mediumish and, if possible, only turn them once.

Maybe it's the flour I'm lacking. I rinse & dry, then salt, egg and Progresso Italian Bread Crumbs. Then the plan was to sprinkle with Parmesan and sea salt just before taking out of the pan, but didn't get that far...

Oddly enough, when it was done and I'd scraped the rest of the breading off, my sweetie said they were moist and tender and delicious.

[Tarlam!]

Since we seems to have an abnormal amount of people with cheffing expertise, I thought I would start a thread were I and others, if they exist, can post for help on what the motherfuck went wrong with what I was cooking.

So to kick it off, I start with celery root puree, which was meant to provide a nice earthy bitter compliment to a couple steaks in the same manner blue cheese might.

I skinned and diced the root. simmered it for about 15 minutes in chicken broth and garlic with some salt until it was soft then we slapped it in the processor with a little butter and heavy cream.

It smelled great, but tasted like ass. The bitterness was still overwhelming on the back end. How can this be resolved next time?

Celery wasn't made to be mashed and certainly not boiled with garlic. Boiling garlic? Really really bad idea. If you insist on doing this, then at very least sweat the garlic before add it to broth, offset it a bayleaf and some thyme sprigs. You'll get away with it better.

Freaks idea with the spuds is excellent, especially to control any consistancy issues, but cook them in their jackets to retain some starch. That will help bitterness.

Oftentimes, homemade tomato soup or pasta sauce will be bitter and to combat that the answer is sugar.

I still do not like the idea and recommend an old Aussie favourite: Mushy Peas. Easy, delicous and very earthy.

[Tarlam!]

* 2 eggs, plus 2 tablespoons water, beaten, for egg wash[/color]
* Panko, processed into fine crumbs, or fresh dried white breadcrumbs
* Peanut oil for frying

Score the coated scaloppini with four shallow knife cuts in a cross-hatch pattern to help prevent curling while cooking

Well, you might call it Wienerschnitzel, but you'd be wrong.

Milk is used, not water. I don't know what Panko is, neither do any Chefs in Vienna. I'm not sure what fresh dried breadcrumbs are.

You do not want to use anything but a neutral oil or a high-temp margerine, not the kind you might spread on your bread. And with the number of people who have peanut allergies these days, why peanut??? Don't forget, veal has a very delicate flavour, you need to compliment it and not overpower it.

A true Wienerschnitzel is too thin to score this way, because the scallopini has been flattened before breading. Remember, this was once peasant farmer food. They stretched the calorries and found a way to use 2 day old, hardened bread buns doing this.

Also, part of the beauty of the Schnitzel is that the breading, if done properly, form a cocoon around the veal. By scoring it, I don't see how that could form.

Now, I am highly qualified for this: I was born in Vienna, My mother was Viennese, My daughter and Son were born to a Viennese mother, I was married in Vienna, My Grandma, who is 90 year's old, lives in a Viennese nursing home, My daughter is returning from a week's vacation tonight, you guessed it, form Vienna AND my nephew, works as a chef in, Vienna.

God, that felt good.

Ziggy, the flour is imperative or the egg wash won't stick.

[mraynrand]

Now, I am highly qualified for this: I was born in Vienna, My mother was Viennese, My daughter and Son were born to a Viennese mother, I was married in Vienna, My Grandma, who is 90 year's old, lives in a Viennese nursing home, My daughter is returning from a week's vacation tonight, you guessed it, form Vienna AND my nephew, works as a chef in, Vienna.

Your family is obviously qualified, Ms. Vito, but how does this qualify you as a mechanic?

[Iron Mike]

So to kick it off, I start with celery root puree, which was meant to provide a nice earthy bitter compliment to a couple steaks in the same manner blue cheese might.

Next time, sear the steaks......make a beef stock reduction with heavy cream and add bleu cheese. :P

[pasquale]

Ok, I have this problem every time I cook pork chops. I do the whole egg and breading thing (this time I put just a touch of honey in the egg, but it crusts up and falls off the chops when I cook them--or I end up with overcooked breading and undercooked meat in the middle.

What do you do to them before you bread them? I would be bringing them close to room temp, drying them, add a dusting of flour and dip them in beaten eggs, and only then dip them in the bread crumbs or whatever. Then--very important--add them to a frying pan that is already hot (don't add oil till just before pork chops or it'll burn) so that they, or the breading, don't stick to the pan. Turn down the heat to mediumish and, if possible, only turn them once.

Protein won't stick to protein so you need that flour to bind the meat and the egg, then bread. And then let them sit for AT LEAST 10 mins, don't even think about putting them in the oil right after you bread them.

[Little Whiskey]

Made retailguys ribs again yesterday. nothing but pats on the back during dinnner. I kinda wished they would have wiped their hands off first.

think i might have to invest in a larger weber grill, or a rib rack. I'd like to make more than just 2 racks at a time.

[Tarlam!]

don't even think about putting them in the oil right after you bread them.

Why would you say that? At chef school, we were taught to get 'em into the oil ASAP, so the breading doesn't suck up the moisture from the veal and dry the schnitzel.

[channtheman]

You guys are best off shutting the fuck up about Tar's shit!

[Joemailman]

Any tips on the best way to bake a frozen pizza?

[channtheman]

Any tips on the best way to bake a frozen pizza?

I usually preheat the oven to about 425. The box says 400 but I like to live on the edge. Next comes the hard part. Using a knife (or other sharp edged utensil), carefully cut the plastic around the pizza. Many a nights have been ruined by my careless cutting (I've got the scars to prove it). Another tough one coming up is placing the pizza in the hot oven. Throw it, toss it, shove it, do whatever you have to to get that bitch in without burning your hand (I've got plenty of burn marks from previous fuck ups as well). Lastly, take that bitch out any way you can and enjoy.

[Tarlam!]

You guys are best off shutting the fuck up about Tar's shit!

Nah, that was a serious question! I haven't actively cheffed in 21 years and things develop. I can still wow my kids with my skills - I made meatloaf last night to die for according to them and my deceased wife wanted me to market my bolognaise sauce, as do my kids, but I'm a hack these days.

Back in the day, now, well! I was one of the highest paid chefs in Sydney.

[Tarlam!]

Crab Cakes - Help Wanted!

I love crab cakes, but they're just not sold here. They sell tinned crab meat at the most extortionist prices, but hey, once a year, why not?

Anyway, I googles recipes and they contain mayo. Sounds really wieird to me. Does anybody have a really tasty recipe for me?

[hoosier]

Any tips on the best way to bake a frozen pizza?

I usually preheat the oven to about 425. The box says 400 but I like to live on the edge. Next comes the hard part. Using a knife (or other sharp edged utensil), carefully cut the plastic around the pizza. Many a nights have been ruined by my careless cutting (I've got the scars to prove it). Another tough one coming up is placing the pizza in the hot oven. Throw it, toss it, shove it, do whatever you have to to get that bitch in without burning your hand (I've got plenty of burn marks from previous fuck ups as well). Lastly, take that bitch out any way you can and enjoy.

You forgot the biggest question of them all, the mother of all frozen pizza controversies: do you put the frozen pizza directly on the rack or do you put it on a baking sheet. And if a baking sheet, do you add a layer of tin foil so you don't have to scrub and wash the cookie sheet afterwards?