SPEAKING OF POKING HOLES IN MELONS...muh man Doug had a hilarious bit back in the day about doing Extasy... Not word for word...


Doug Stanhope - "I was doing a show in Anchorage Alaska, and the bartender gave me some pills....WHAT ARE THESE?

"Just take 'em."

DS- "so I took 'em... what'll these do?"

"Well, they make you really horny!"

DS- "u rotten son of a bitch, I don't need horny, I already am horny, I GOT HORNY DOWN PAT!! YOU WOULD HAVE GIVEN ANN FRANK A DRUM SET YOU DOUCHEBAG"--I took those pills and I did stuff to myself I've never done to a woman......
I woke up the next morning to the maid cleaning my hotel room...there's a porno goin' and on the floor there's a melon with a hole drilled in it....


"What do you use that for?'

DS- "I had a little LU-AWWW!!!"