This is "My Mastery Mockery of a Draft," version 1.0, pre-combine and pre-compensatory picks. These are the players Ted Thompson should draft. Granted, not many folks have ever heard of these players. As the draft draws nearer and nearer, however, keep these dudes in mind.

Keep in mind that I hold a Master's in Mock Draft from the Mel Kiper Jr. School of College Football Scouting and Hair Design at the prestigious ESPNU.

Round/Player/Pos/College/Comment

1. Lamarcus Joyner, S, Florida St: 5'8" but a Bob Sanders clone. Runs a 4.5ish 40. Despite diminutive stature, hits like a wrecking ball. Physical as a horny goat. Excellent coverage skills. Unless Ted Thompson trades up, the Packers have no chance at mofo safety Clinton-Dix. Pryor is another tall, slow safety, a la Morgan Burnett.

2. Ed Reynolds, S, Stanford: 6'2", 205 lbs, 4.5 40. This guy would allow the Packers to play Joyner at "free," a la Nick Collins, a la Earl Fucking Thomas. Big, physical and fast. Had 6 picks in 2012; a ballhawk.

3. Yawin Smallwood, ILB, Connecticut: Lori Nickel would love to interview this guy in a locker room. Tall (6'4") and physical. Not as fast as former Bear great, Brian Urlacher, but a poor man Urlacher nonetheless.

4. Adrian Hubbard, OLB, Alabama: 6'6" 252 lbs. A pass blocking OLB with pass rush potentials (7 sacks in 2012). Physical and is a distant relative of Goliath.

5. Kenall James, CB, Maine: 6'0" and runs the 40 in 4.3 seconds. Fast and physical, even at 175 lbs. Needs to add 10 lbs to be even more physical.

6. Howard Jones, OLB, Shepherd: 6'4" 238 lbs, 4.4 40. Nobody knows where the fuck Shepherd is. Would be a 1st round pick if played at Alabama. 35 sacks in 47 games. Fast and physical.

7. Nick Perry, S, Alabama: Has prototypical size (6'1" 212 lbs). 4.55 40. Played in only 2 games in '13 due to injuries. Physical when healthy. Not a ball hawk (O pick in NCAA career) but has ok coverage skills. Better than MD Jenning.

Overview:

Ron Wolf once tailored an entire draft toward stopping former Packer-killa, Randy Moss. Colin Kaepernick currently owns the Packers. "Kap" is a modern day Packer-killa, and he isn't going away for a long time - unlike Moss, whom the Vikings stupidly got rid of. If Thompson is smart, he'd tailor a draft toward stopping Kap by drafting many a-fast and physical defenders.