Maybe Red is up in GB, pushing Ted back down into his Barcalounger, "No, Ted, don't get up. Have another swig of the Jack here. And I programmed Connor Barwin's agent into your speed dial."
Or some version of Saw. If Ted doesn't sign a FA/cut off a limb, red won't tell him where Brian Gutenkist is tied up.
Bud Adams told me the franchise he admired the most was the Kansas City Chiefs. Then he asked for more hookers and blow.