Given the unfortunate situation brought about by embarrassing allegations of kitten-juggling (Someone I trusted said they were cats of sufficient age for juggling), and for not knowing what diddling actually meant when having otherwise respectful conversations with the Packerrats interns, I will be putting my team up for sale after the season is over. I apologize for any shame I have brought to this proud organization.

Edit: Madtown has warned me, for propriety's sake, not to entertain any offers until after the season is over, at which time his cousin 'tino will purchase the team.