“I am writing a film script about going back in time to stop Hitler’s parents meeting at the Austrian Enchantment ‘Under The Sea’ dance. It’s called ‘Back to the Fuhrer’!”
“I am writing a film script about going back in time to stop Hitler’s parents meeting at the Austrian Enchantment ‘Under The Sea’ dance. It’s called ‘Back to the Fuhrer’!”
"Never, never ever support a punk like mraynrand. Rather be as I am and feel real sympathy for his sickness." - Woodbuck
This is like listening to my kids practice their jokes. Fiftieth iteration is not necessarily more amusing.
You can do what I did with my kids: ignore themOriginally Posted by hoosier
"Never, never ever support a punk like mraynrand. Rather be as I am and feel real sympathy for his sickness." - Woodbuck
.....What?
i went to the dentist the other day. "hey doc...my teeth are yellow." he said, "wear a brown tie."
That reminds me of an off topic joke, not to say off color: What is brown and sticky?
A stick.
No longer the member of any fan clubs. I'm tired of jinxing players out of the league and into obscurity.
What’s brown and rhymes with snoop?
Dr Dre
Horse walks into a bar. Bartender asks, why the long face?
A Newfie walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter, and sees it’s filled to the brim with $10 bills.
He guesses there must be thousands of dollars in it.
He approaches the bartender and asks,”What’s up with the jar?”
“Well, you pay $10, and if you pass three tests, you get all the money.”
The man certainly isn’t going to pass this up. “What are the three tests?”
“Pay first, those are the rules.” says the bartender.
So the Newfie gives him the $10, and the bartender drops it into the jar.
“OK,” the bartender says, “here’s what you need to do: First – You have to drink that entire gallon of pepper tequila the whole thing, all at once…and you can’t make a face while doing it.
Second, – There’s a pit bull chained-up out back with a sore tooth.
You have to remove the tooth with your bare hands.
Third, – There’s a 90-year-old woman upstairs who has never reached orgasm during intercourse. You’ve gotta make things right for her.”
The Newfie is stunned. “I know I paid my 10 bucks, but I’m not an idiot! I won’t do it!
You have to be nuts to drink a gallon of pepper tequila, and then do those other things….”
“Your call,” says the bartender, “but your money stays where it is.”
As time goes on and the Newfie has a few drinks, then a few more, he asks, “Wherez zat teeqeelah?”
He grabs the gallon with both hands and downs it with a big slurp.
Tears are streaming down both cheeks, but he doesn’t make a face.
Next, he staggers out back where the pit bull is chained-up, and soon all the people inside the bar hear a huge, noisy, scuffle going on outside.
They hear the pit bull barking, the guy screaming, the pit bull yelping, and then…………silence.
Just when they think the Newfie surely must be dead, he staggers back into the bar, with his shirt ripped and large bloody scratches all over his body.
Now,” he says, “where’s the old woman with the sore tooth?
** Since 2006 3 X Pro Pickem' Champion; 4 X Runner-Up and 3 X 3rd place.
** To download Jesus Loves Me ring tones, you'll need a cell phone mame
** If God doesn't fish, play poker or pull for " the Packers ", exactly what does HE do with his buds?
** Rather than love, money or fame - give me TRUTH: Henry D. Thoreau
A rope walks into a bar. Bartender says "Hey buddy, we don't serve rope here."
The rope goes into a nearby alleyway. He pulls his threads apart, turns himself into a loop and makes a knot with the loosed threads sticking out. Walks back into the bar. Sits down.
Bartender eyes him suspiciously. "Say, aren't you that piece of rope that was just in here a minute ago?"
Rope says "No, I'm afraid not."
"The Devine era is actually worse than you remember if you go back and look at it."
KYPack
Giraffe walks in to a bar. Yells highballs on me!
Last edited by esoxx; 10-27-2017 at 04:35 PM.
HOFer
has anyone posted his?
pretty fucking funny
I'd tell a UDP joke, but I'm not sure anyone would get it.
When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro ~Hunter S.
that didn't stop me
"Never, never ever support a punk like mraynrand. Rather be as I am and feel real sympathy for his sickness." - Woodbuck
I got it, but there were some delays. Almost as long as sounding out "a frayed knot" took.
Bud Adams told me the franchise he admired the most was the Kansas City Chiefs. Then he asked for more hookers and blow.
Programming joke? Heyyyyooo
Rodgers speaks...http://www.packers.com/news-and-even...4f5d?qwr=nomob
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