Originally Posted by
3irty1
To those who imagine any scenario where they are well-wishing the Minnesota Vikings during a superbowl,
I implore you to reconsider. This is the the team that usurped the division on one play this year. This is the franchised that reared a generation of fans on pink randy moss jerseys. They are our rival in the sense that Elmer Fudd is a rival to Bugs Bunny. Its not even a question of whether to support the Vikings in a superbowl. As fans of the franchise with the most championships in the league, nobody has more to lose by a Vikings superbowl win than us. Let me think of an analogy quick.
Let's imagine you're a world class chef. You've dedicated your life to the pursuit of mastering your craft and pursuing your industry's highest accolades. You've held three Michelin stars longer than any other restaurant in the world. Then this year, a drunk hot dog vender crashes their cart through one of your windows and a sterno ignites the drapery burning the place to the ground. When the year's Michelin guide comes out you see the hot dog vender was awarded a star. Not only were your ambitions derailed for this year, now you have an existential crisis. If a hot dog vender can get a Michelin star what does that say about your life's work? Michelin stars are cheapened to the point of worthlessness now. The world is a lie. All roads forward lead to nihilism.
Sure its annoying to imagine the cadre of smug bastards known as the Patriots waltz their way to another easy Lombardi, but what is one more superbowl to the Patriots really? Actually you can quantify it. That reality is 20% worse. Being skidmarks on the underpants of the NFL, the Vikings rightfully have zero superbowls. One more than zero is incalculably worse in proportional terms. Another word for a reality that is incalculably worse is hell. You're cheering for a theoretical hell. I invite you to rescind your tragically misplaced votes at this time.
Your fellow rat,
3irty1
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