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Thread: Chickens Everywhere are Rejoicing as the World that I Knew Comes to an End.

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    Fact Rat HOFer Patler's Avatar
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    Chickens Everywhere are Rejoicing as the World that I Knew Comes to an End.

    First, it was their change of official name from "Kentucky Fried Chicken" to "KFC".

    Then, it was their announcement to go to exclusively boneless chicken in a couple years.

    Now, they are test marketing "Beyond Fried Chicken" meatless, plant based nuggets and "wings".

    https://www.usatoday.com/story/money...en/2096539001/

  2. #2
    My kids have back yard chickens, which I do my best to ignore. Theirs is a cruel, unforgiving world in which the meek and mild are fortunate to be breathing. Trust me, chickens around the world couldn't give a shit that their brethren get to keep their heads because of some bean protein extraction.

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    Roadkill Rat HOFer mraynrand's Avatar
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    “Raise your hands, raise your voice, give the chickens another choice”

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    Oracle Rat HOFer Cheesehead Craig's Avatar
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    All hail the Ruler of the Meadow!

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    Fact Rat HOFer Patler's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hoosier View Post
    My kids have back yard chickens, which I do my best to ignore. Theirs is a cruel, unforgiving world in which the meek and mild are fortunate to be breathing. Trust me, chickens around the world couldn't give a shit that their brethren get to keep their heads because of some bean protein extraction.
    I have beheaded hundreds of them myself. I hated everything about raising chickens on the farm, except eating them and their eggs. I don't want any meatless fried chicken.

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    Postal Rat HOFer Joemailman's Avatar
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    It would increase my choices on Fridays in Lent.

  7. #7
    I always thought the change to KFC had more to do with negativity about the middle word than the end word.
    What could be more GOOD and NORMAL and AMERICAN than Packer Football?

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    Roadkill Rat HOFer mraynrand's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by texaspackerbacker View Post
    I always thought the change to KFC had more to do with negativity about the middle word than the end word.
    they are a forward thinking organization
    "Never, never ever support a punk like mraynrand. Rather be as I am and feel real sympathy for his sickness." - Woodbuck

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    Postal Rat HOFer Joemailman's Avatar
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    Rider Rat HOFer Upnorth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Patler View Post
    I have beheaded hundreds of them myself. I hated everything about raising chickens on the farm, except eating them and their eggs. I don't want any meatless fried chicken.
    We have a video of my youngest when she was two, splattered with blood and laughing as I cut off a chickens head. We look like complete rednecks, but it does make the chicken taste better.

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    Hands-to-the-face Rat HOFer 3irty1's Avatar
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    Have to think these things through before you outsource the jobs of our domestic animal partners. In the last year we got a Roomba and a Ring doorbell, thereby automating two of my dog's most important jobs. She's working through a crisis of meaning now. Are we prepared to live in a civilization with billions of dispossessed feral chickens? Will they learn to code?
    70% of the Earth is covered by water. The rest is covered by Al Harris.

  12. #12
    Roadkill Rat HOFer mraynrand's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 3irty1 View Post
    Have to think these things through before you outsource the jobs of our domestic animal partners. In the last year we got a Roomba and a Ring doorbell, thereby automating two of my dog's most important jobs. She's working through a crisis of meaning now. Are we prepared to live in a civilization with billions of dispossessed feral chickens? Will they learn to code?
    I set up a large trap over the front entry to catch porch pirates. Then my dog urinates on them. He has a new purpose in life.
    "Never, never ever support a punk like mraynrand. Rather be as I am and feel real sympathy for his sickness." - Woodbuck

  13. #13
    Quote Originally Posted by hoosier View Post
    My kids have back yard chickens, which I do my best to ignore. Theirs is a cruel, unforgiving world in which the meek and mild are fortunate to be breathing. Trust me, chickens around the world couldn't give a shit that their brethren get to keep their heads because of some bean protein extraction.
    Truth.

    We have chickens of close to a dozen varieties, two ducks, a peacock and a turkey. Our last pigeon got whacked the other day.

    The peacock is chill.

    The turkey would hang out in your lap if you'd let him.

    Ducks are dicks.

    Chickens are miniature dinosaurs whose main purpose in life after eating is terrorizing the other members of their flock.

    The cream leg bars are pretty vanilla.

    The white crowned polish rooster thinks he's a fucking T-Rex.

    The Bantam rooster thinks he's a fucking velociraptor.

    Leghorns are smart.

    The Barred rock hen is alpha and is super cool. Follows me around.

    Golden laced wyandotte are high-strung and psycho like an Orange County girlfriend.

    Americauna's are pretty ok.

    Sometimes you just have to kick a rooster as hard as you fucking can.

  14. #14
    Fact Rat HOFer Patler's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by George Cumby View Post
    Truth.

    We have chickens of close to a dozen varieties, two ducks, a peacock and a turkey. Our last pigeon got whacked the other day.
    ....

    The cream leg bars are pretty vanilla.

    The white crowned polish rooster thinks he's a fucking T-Rex.

    The Bantam rooster thinks he's a fucking velociraptor.

    Leghorns are smart.

    The Barred rock hen is alpha and is super cool. Follows me around.

    Golden laced wyandotte are high-strung and psycho like an Orange County girlfriend.

    Americauna's are pretty ok.
    Which ones taste best?

  15. #15
    El Jardinero Rat HOFer MadtownPacker's Avatar
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    No Rhode Island Reds? Had some but kept finding with the heads gone. They had free range of the backyard. Not sure what did them in but suspect this feral cat mom that showed up did it.

  16. #16
    Fact Rat HOFer Patler's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MadtownPacker View Post
    No Rhode Island Reds? Had some but kept finding with the heads gone. They had free range of the backyard. Not sure what did them in but suspect this feral cat mom that showed up did it.
    Weasels were the culprits on the farm when we found headless chickens.

  17. #17
    El Jardinero Rat HOFer MadtownPacker's Avatar
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    There are hawks, foxes, possums, and owls around here. Figure hawks and owls wouldn’t have just taken the head. Foxes maybe but this happened in the day and the night. I have never seen one pit in the open. Always hiding. The reason I blame the feral cat is because both times it happened she had just had kittens so thinking it was a postpartum massacre.

  18. #18
    When our chickens have shown up headless I have always suspected racoon or fox. Hawks just kill the fuckers, peck em to death, then leave when the realize the prey is too heavy to fly off with. Skunks go after the eggs, and if they don't find any they might eat the chickens guts out. I am going to send this report to Rand and have him translate into Radagastese.

  19. #19
    Quote Originally Posted by Patler View Post
    Which ones taste best?
    The eggs are great.

    My sweet kids won't let me butcher any of their chickens. Even the asshole roosters.

  20. #20
    Neighbors dog got a couple. Put a round of #4 birdshot into its' ass, hasn't been back since.

    Skunks were getting the eggs then graduated to the birds. Like Hoosier said, they like the evisceration method. Live trap and .22 to the head.

    Pack of coyotes rolled through one night when I was out of town, whacked the three roosters. Kids were devastated. Me, not so much.

    Had one Rhode Island Red, really broody. Was hoping she'd actually raise a clutch of eggs. Forget who killed her.

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