I'm bumfuzzled about the emphasis on "no surprise onside kicks." Has there ever been a case where a coach acts like Yosimite Sam because the opposing team surprised him with an onside kick ? (It seems like soemthing Mike McCarthy would do.) Is there even such a thing as a surprise onside kick? Especially with the requirement that you have five on each side of the kicker, there doesn't seem like an exploitable ability to overwhelm the return upmen with a Crash Team and a Recovering Team.

Maybe the league doesn't want any onsides-related neck injuries, but having a surprise onside kick work out for the leading team in the third quarter seems like the lowest-priority problem for the league to address.