I haven't had any coffee for about 6 months. Now when I look in the mirror every morning, well, I am gorgeous. My teeth are no longer kernels of corn, they have returned to their island-boy healthy shimmer.

There must be enough bleach in toothpaste to slowly remove coffee stains.

Do any of you use whitening strips, or pay for the dentist to whiten your teeth? Probably you are too ashamed to admit it.

Fuck it, though, I'm going to go back to drinking coffee pretty soon. People will have to see the inner beauty.

This is what I see every morning: