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Thread: Favorite Bears Joke

  1. #21
    Smart Ass Rat HOFer sheepshead's Avatar
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    A Green Bay Packers Fan is drinking in a New York bar when he gets a call on his cell phone. He hangs up, grinning from ear to ear, and orders a round of drinks for everybody in the bar, announcing his wife has produced a typical Green Bay baby boy weighing 25 pounds. Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds,
    but the Packer Fan just shrugs, "That's about average back home, folks, like I said, my boy's a typical Green Bay baby boy.

    Congratulations showered him from all around, and many exclamations of "WOW!". One woman actually fainted due to sympathy pains.

    Two weeks later, he returns to the bar. The bartender says, "Say, you're the father of that typical Green Bay baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth. Everybody's been making bets about how big he'd be in two weeks.
    So how much does he weigh now?"

    The proud father answers, "Seventeen pounds."
    The bartender is puzzled, concerned, and a little suspicious.
    "What happened? He already weighed 25 pounds the day he was born!"

    The Green Bay father takes a slow swig from his Leinenkugel's beer, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender and proudly says,

    "...Had him circumcised!"
    Lombardi told Starr to "Run it, and let's get the hell out of here!" - 'Ice Bowl' December 31, 1967

  2. #22
    Indenial Rat HOFer bobblehead's Avatar
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    Bears fan and a Packers fan find a genie. the genie says "ok boys, its a recession, ONE wish each". Bears fan beams at the packer fan and says "I want you to put a 20 foot high impenetrable wall up around Illinois so no one can get in and no one can get out....I don't want any damn Packer fans in my state". Poof "its done" says the genie, turning his attention to the packer fan.

    The packer fan scratches his head and says "tell me a bit about this wall". "Well, its the perfect wall, under no circumstances can anyone or anything get in or out of Illinois" replies the genie.

    "and there are only bears fans there, and no packer fans?" asks the packer fan. "thats right" says the genie.

    "OK, I'm ready to make my wish. Can you fill Illinois with water please".
    I don't hold Grudges. It's counterproductive.

  3. #23
    Anti Homer Rat HOFer Bretsky's Avatar
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    A teacher tells her class she's a Bears fan. The class agrees with her except one little girl. When asked who she likes the girl said the Packers, the teacher asked why and the girl said "because my mommy and daddy are fans". The teacher replies "that's no reason to like them, what if your dad was an idiot and your mom was a moron then what would you be?" The little girl replied back, "a Bears fan"...
    LIFE IS ABOUT CHAMPIONSHIPS; I JUST REALIZED THIS. The MILWAUKEE BUCKS have won the same number of championships over the past 50 years as the Green Bay Packers. Ten years from now, who will have more championships, and who will be the fart in the wind ?

  4. #24
    Postal Rat HOFer Joemailman's Avatar
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    Hey B,

    Iron Mike beat you to it by about 3 hours...and 4 posts.
    Ring the bells that still can ring
    Forget your perfect offering
    There is a crack, a crack in everything
    That's how the light gets in - Leonard Cohen

  5. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Iron Mike View Post


    Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
    Hey, this wouldn't be that BearsFan4Life person that was on JSO a few years ago would it?

  6. #26
    Red Devil Rat HOFer gbgary's Avatar
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  7. #27
    What is Mike Tice asking for his tickets?
    "When it's third and ten, you can take the milk drinkers and I'll take the whiskey drinkers every time" Max McGee

  8. #28
    Rat Packer HOFer Jimx29's Avatar
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    Two boys were playing football in a Green Bay area
    park when one is attacked by a Rottweiler. Thinking
    quickly, the other boy rips off a plank of the nearby
    fence, wedges it down the dog's collar & twists, breaking
    the dog's neck. A reporter who was strolling by sees
    ...the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy.
    "Packers Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal,"
    he starts writing in his notebook.
    "But I'm not a Packers fan," the boy replied.
    "Viking Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack,"
    the reporter starts again.
    "I'm not a Viking fan either," the boy said.
    "Then what are you?" the reporter asked.
    "I'm a Bears fan."
    The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes,
    "Redneck Bastard Kills Family Pet."
    The Bottom Line:
    Formally Numb, same person, same views of M3

  9. #29
    Rat Packer HOFer Jimx29's Avatar
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    The Bottom Line:
    Formally Numb, same person, same views of M3

  10. #30
    Rat Packer HOFer Jimx29's Avatar
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    The Bottom Line:
    Formally Numb, same person, same views of M3

  11. #31
    Roadkill Rat HOFer mraynrand's Avatar
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    Where is Dabaddest Bear?

    [/IMG][/IMG]

  12. #32
    Roadkill Rat HOFer mraynrand's Avatar
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    I'm betting these guys show up early drunk


  13. #33
    Naked Mole Rat HOFer Iron Mike's Avatar
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  14. #34
    An anxious woman goes to her doctor and says, "I'm a bit nervous...can you get pregnant from anal intercourse? "



    "Of course", he replies, "Where do you think Bear fans come from?"

  15. #35
    Smart Ass Rat HOFer sheepshead's Avatar
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    Lombardi told Starr to "Run it, and let's get the hell out of here!" - 'Ice Bowl' December 31, 1967

  16. #36
    Cheese & Beer Rat All-Pro MichiganPackerFan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by get louder at lambeau View Post
    This is my favorite Bears joke is Rex Grossman.
    Of all things, this is what i thought of first!

  17. #37
    Did I really write "This is my favorite joke is..."?? I'm getting dumber and dumber. Next thing you know, I'll start agreeing with Retail.

  18. #38
    Neo Rat HOFer Fritz's Avatar
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    That Cutler cartoon is hilarious. Especially the interception/conga line.
    "The Devine era is actually worse than you remember if you go back and look at it."

    KYPack

  19. #39
    Euro Rat HOFer mmmdk's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fritz View Post
    That Cutler cartoon is hilarious. Especially the interception/conga line.
    Oscar material
    PackerRats Thompson D. Yahoo Fantasy Football Champ 2019,
    PackerRats Thompson D. Yahoo Fantasy Football Champ 2018,
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    Rats Yahoo Fantasy Football Champ 2013,
    Ratz Survival Football Champ 2012,
    PackerRats1 Yahoo Fantasy Football Champ 2006.

  20. #40
    Kickass Rat All-Pro CaptainKickass's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fritz View Post
    That Cutler cartoon is hilarious. Especially the interception/conga line.
    +1
    "Everyone's born anarchist and atheist until people start lying to them" ~ wise philosopher

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