Originally Posted by
King Friday
I have 3 words for you.
Julius Fucking Peppers.
Then I have one more word for you.
Bloodline.
Matt Stafford, you better prepare to eat the backside of your OL...because Julius Fucking Peppers is coming. Julius Fucking Peppers is hungry. Julius Fucking Peppers has only won 1 playoff game since the month of February 2006. That 1 lonesome win was followed by Jay Cutler going all vagina on Julius Fucking Peppers as he watched the Green Bay Packers stampede to the Super Bowl.
Julius Fucking Peppers has been mostly invisible for most of the last month. After munching on the leftovers of Dirty Sanchez to the tune of 52 yards of PICKUM SIXUM, Julius Fucking Peppers went into sleep mode. Maybe he was downloading a critical Windows update. Maybe he was scanning for viruses or just trying to stay away from the mumps. 4 games...9 tackles...0 sacks...ZZZZzzzz....
Bloodline was chasing QBs left and right prior to the Packers bye week...a little gimpy, but effective. The problem was that most of our other LBs were constantly doing their best impression of what I would look like if I was playing in the NFL. Don Capers was eating breakfast one morning during the bye week, and as he looked down on the table he saw that he had some overspray Ron Pomeil-style. But as he looked closer, an image came into view where Bloodline was dropping into coverage. At first, Capers was like...WTF is that all about...but then he remembered all those unathletic and uninspiring plays from other LBs. By moving Bloodline, he could get his best athletes on the field depending on situation.
Bloodline, the spawn of a family of NFL ironmen who knew what it took to be a teammate, accepted the challenge and did what was best for the team. In the process, he only enhanced his image and has become even more impactful of a player. In the weeks since the bye week, Bloodline has been all over the field. He made Tom Brady curse like a fucking toddler with 12 different teeth trying to poke through his gums. He made Dirty Sanchez wish he could repeat the butt fumble and just crawl up inside one of his lineman's asses. Bloodline is healthy and ready to dominate.
Back to Julius Fucking Peppers. After the Packers offense decided to go into limp mode themselves against Buffalo...and still look hungover during the first quarter against the Bucs, Julius Fucking Peppers found the power button and rebooted. He got a big fat C stitched to his chest. He made a TB rookie OL kid his personal valet on Sunday as he was taking a Sunday drive down Tampa Bay Blvd right into the middle of McNown's pocket. Julius Fucking Peppers ain't getting any younger. Julius Fucking Peppers ditched the vaginas known as the BEEEAARRRSSSS and came to a winner. Julius Fucking Peppers ain't going to be denied by the Lions. Julius Fucking Peppers just sent a wink to Matthew Stafford on match.com, because that is how intimate he is expecting to get with him next weekend.
JFP, De-twhoa bitches, JFP
Bloodline, De-twhoa bitches, Bloodline
Play dirty all you want, Lionesses. We aren't going to find a happy place. We are going to use a 2 foot summer sausage...and not a fresh, moist one. It's going to hurt. It's going to end like every other game you've played on the correct side of Lake Michigan for the past 20 some years. Feel free to take out your frustration for your loss on whoever you get in the first round of the playoffs. We'll be kicking it up in the Lambeau man cave...pimping that 4th straight NFC North title and the bye week that comes with it.
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