Don't Be That Guy

[vince]

We all remember the hottest chick in school. She had beautiful long hair, an engaging smile, a big natural rack, and a sweet ass to boot. All the guys wanted to date her, and she knew it. There was one guy who was lucky enough to date her. This gave the guy a tremendous thrill, and he quickly fell head over heels in love. The sex was so great!

After a long relationship, the hot chick eventually lost interest in that guy, maybe because the time came to go off to college, or because she grew tired of the guy, or because she didn’t think the guy was quite good enough in football. No one but the hot chick really knew for sure, but it didn’t really matter anyway. But the guy’s ego (and his memories of the great sex!) couldn’t let him believe that she would want to date someone else. What they had was so great! She couldn’t have meant what she said, could she have?

The guy followed the hot chick around, continually asking her to take him back. But she came up with different excuses, none of which seemed to make sense to him. But her actions were even more telling. She started flirting with other guys, but he was blinded by his love for her and didn’t see the evidence that was right in front of him. Soon he was crying on the phone and telling her how much he loves her. He thought that he couldn’t live without her. Eventually, his friends and all the girls began to laugh at him because he had become a pathetic stalker.

Yeah she was smokin’ hot - especially when he first started dating her, but she actually started putting on a few pounds, all the attention she’d been getting made her an egomaniac, and she was moody too (to put it nicely), especially when he didn’t do what she said he should.

Now, there’s young sophomore that’s growing into a quite the hottie herself. It’s become way past the time for the guy to start courting the young hottie. And she has a lot of young hot friends too. Hanging out with them could be fun...

It would be a lot more fun for the guy than dwelling on what could have been with the old bitch who was an attention whore anyway. In fact, instead of stalking his old girlfriend, that guy should start warning other guys that they should keep in mind that there's always another guy who could no longer put up with her bullshit and was smart enough to move on at the right time.

[3irty1]

Yeah but what if it was Hall of Fame sex?

[GrnBay007]

Yeah but what if it was Hall of Fame sex?

:lol:

[vince]

Yeah but what if it was Hall of Fame sex?
Then put up a bronze statue of her vagina outside your bedroom if you must, but for God sakes 3irty1, move on son!

[3irty1]

Yeah but what if it was Hall of Fame sex?
Then put up a bronze statue of her vagina outside your bedroom if you must, but for God sakes 3irty1, move on son!
:(



Related?
http://www.startribune.com/local/24179694.html?location_refer=Most%20Viewed:Local%2 0+%20Metro

[KYPack]

Nice thread, Vince.

A trifle bizarre, but we get it, I think.

[The Leaper]

So you are saying Favre shouldn't be a stalker and should go play for the Vikings?

[vince]

pssst, Leap, you're being that guy.

You haven't heard what she's told you. She's thought about breaking up with you for a long time, and finally did it. Then she had second thoughts, and you were ready to take her back, but she reconsidered again after being courted by your arch enemy. Then, she said, "Please just let me go, once and for all. You never listened to me." She didn't tell you explicitly that she wants to date your arch enemy, but that's what her actions say. And you know, her friend is also your friend, and she told you as much in private.

She still wants to date and have sex. Just not with you.

[The Leaper]

I'm just the guy that wants to see Green Bay win a Super Bowl.

[vince]

And that would be some great sex. But she doesn't want to have sex with you anymore.

This sophomore girl isn't as experienced, but with the right grooming, and if you talk with her just right, she just might be pretty good in bed too.

[3irty1]

And that would be some great sex. But she doesn't want to have sex with you anymore.

This sophomore girl isn't as experienced, but with the right grooming, and if you talk with her just right, she just might be pretty good in bed too.

If nothing else at least she'll be into some crazy stuff you haven't had in a while.

[Fritz]

Nice thread, Vince.

A trifle bizarre, but we get it, I think.

Since I was never the guy that got that hot chick, does this mean I'm thinking about Brett Favre when I masturbate?

[Zool]

Nice thread, Vince.

A trifle bizarre, but we get it, I think.

Since I was never the guy that got that hot chick, does this mean I'm thinking about Brett Favre when I masturbate?

Win

[vince]

Nice thread, Vince.

A trifle bizarre, but we get it, I think.

Since I was never the guy that got that hot chick, does this mean I'm thinking about Brett Favre when I masturbate?
:lol:
Favre is hardly worth masturbating over, but it sure is hard for some people to get over the thought of being dumped by him...

[DonHutson]

http://www.cbc.ca/arts/images/pics/cusack2.jpg

I guess we'll see if Peter Gabriel gets Ted all misty-eyed.

[twoseven]

http://www.heathersblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/16candles.jpg
This will be TT after it's over, regardless of the girl.

[Bretsky]

BRING BACK THE HOT CHICK AND HAVE BOTH OF THEM !!!!

[Fritz]

Nice thread, Vince.

A trifle bizarre, but we get it, I think.

Since I was never the guy that got that hot chick, does this mean I'm thinking about Brett Favre when I masturbate?
:lol:
Favre is hardly worth masturbating over, but it sure is hard for some people to get over the thought of being dumped by him...

You mean I coulda been thinking about someone better?

[Tyrone Bigguns]

The only real question is does the sophomore do anal cause the hot girl never did.

[LL2]

I'm just the guy that wants to see Green Bay win a Super Bowl.

I want to be that guy...the guy that get the girl with beautiful long hair, an engaging smile, a big natural rack, and a sweet ass to boot too.

[Fritz]

The only real question is does the sophomore do anal cause the hot girl never did.

You guys are so confusing. Are you saying that Favre doesn't do anal but Rodgers might?

[Tyrone Bigguns]

The only real question is does the sophomore do anal cause the hot girl never did.

You guys are so confusing. Are you saying that Favre doesn't do anal but Rodgers might?

well, arod is from the bay area...but, then again brett is from the south.

http://img301.imageshack.us/img301/6486/deliverancepantswd6.jpg

[Fritz]

The only real question is does the sophomore do anal cause the hot girl never did.

You guys are so confusing. Are you saying that Favre doesn't do anal but Rodgers might?

well, arod is from the bay area...but, then again brett is from the south.

http://img301.imageshack.us/img301/6486/deliverancepantswd6.jpg

Hilarious.

[Charles Woodson]

BRING BACK THE HOT CHICK AND HAVE BOTH OF THEM !!!!
Good idea, if nothing less just oil them up and let them wrestle :drma: :drma:

[BallHawk]

The only real question is does the sophomore do anal cause the hot girl never did.

Is the sophmore depressed and directionless in life?

8K :D

[Tyrone Bigguns]

What if you knocked the hot chick up when she was 17 and you had to drop outta high school to support your new family?

Now you are shift leader at little caesars and she has put on 30 but still wears the same pair of jeans and her muffin top repulses you?

she wants more intimacy, but she no longer turns you on...what should I...um, i mean...what should he do?

[mraynrand]

Garbage Can, anyone?

[BallHawk]

Garbage Can, anyone?

Give it a few more hours. Just need to wait 'til Nutz, Skin, and Harlan show up.

[GoPackGo]

What if you knocked the hot chick up when she was 17 and you had to drop outta high school to support your new family?

Now you are shift leader at little caesars and she has put on 30 but still wears the same pair of jeans and her muffin top repulses you?

she wants more intimacy, but she no longer turns you on...what should I...um, i mean...what should he do?

get that cow on a diet ASAP. Quit bringing home pizza and quit your job at little caesars.Tell here that you're dirty, and she needs to be dirty to turn you on.

[Tyrone Bigguns]

What if you knocked the hot chick up when she was 17 and you had to drop outta high school to support your new family?

Now you are shift leader at little caesars and she has put on 30 but still wears the same pair of jeans and her muffin top repulses you?

she wants more intimacy, but she no longer turns you on...what should I...um, i mean...what should he do?

get that cow on a diet ASAP. Quit bringing home pizza and quit your job at little caesars.Tell here that you're dirty, and she needs to be dirty to turn you on.

Dr. Phil..is that you?

[GoPackGo]

What if you knocked the hot chick up when she was 17 and you had to drop outta high school to support your new family?

Now you are shift leader at little caesars and she has put on 30 but still wears the same pair of jeans and her muffin top repulses you?

she wants more intimacy, but she no longer turns you on...what should I...um, i mean...what should he do?

get that cow on a diet ASAP. Quit bringing home pizza and quit your job at little caesars.Tell here that you're dirty, and she needs to be dirty to turn you on.

Dr. Phil..is that you?

I got a PHD in pimpology bro

[Tyrone Bigguns]

What if you knocked the hot chick up when she was 17 and you had to drop outta high school to support your new family?

Now you are shift leader at little caesars and she has put on 30 but still wears the same pair of jeans and her muffin top repulses you?

she wants more intimacy, but she no longer turns you on...what should I...um, i mean...what should he do?

get that cow on a diet ASAP. Quit bringing home pizza and quit your job at little caesars.Tell here that you're dirty, and she needs to be dirty to turn you on.

Dr. Phil..is that you?

I got a PHD in pimpology bro

Do foodstains on her too small belly shirt count as dirty? Cause she hasn't done the laundry in weeks.

[BallHawk]

Where do Mike and Ted fall into in this situation? What roles, I dare ask, do they play?

[MJZiggy]

Where do Mike and Ted fall into in this situation? What roles, I dare ask, do they play?

They're the football start who said "screw this bitch" and are now dating the virginal Homecoming Queen.

[Fritz]

But the old hottie now feels betrayed by MM and TT. She used to work so hard to get rid of that muffin top in the offseason, and now she's let it go, though she swears she's been working out and is getting into shape.

[Bretsky]

always gotta leave a small opening for the hottie to come back :!:
If she is desperate enough she'll the the last to agree to a dual role with the decent up and comer. Since the up and comer wants to stay around they will be fine with it regardless

[vince]

But the old hottie now feels betrayed by MM and TT. She used to work so hard to get rid of that muffin top in the offseason, and now she's let it go, though she swears she's been working out and is getting into shape.
The old hottie has had latent disenfranchisement for a long time because the guy would never listen to him. If it wasn't for the pressure of the guy and all his friends (and the fact that she was getting paid millions to stay in the relatinship), she would have dumped him long ago. It was a flirtatious call by the guy's arch enemy that finally made her dump him once and for all after considering it many times in the past. She did it and actually thought seriously about taking him back once and then said she can't do it.

We've all seen these kinds of relationships. There is way too much bad history and it has run its course. No matter how bad the guy wants it to work, it won't. The old egotistical bitch who's getting a big ass doesn't really want it to. Her ego is too big to expect she'll change her ways and seriously diet. Now she just wants to do Adkins for a couple weeks and she thinks that'll get her back in shape. She's fighting a losing battle because as her body continues to age, her hips continue to widen. That's impossible to change. She's just running more and more on her past reputation and very soon, that's all she'll have left.

It's well past the time to go after the young hottie and start afresh.

[vince]

always gotta leave a small opening for the hottie to come back :!:
If she is desperate enough she'll the the last to agree to a dual role with the decent up and comer. Since the up and comer wants to stay around they will be fine with it regardless
Have some integrity B. She's a egotistical bitch who's getting fat. She's dumped the guy twice after wanting to do it many times before that. She's told all her friends that he's lied, when in reality she had no business telling him what to do in the first place.

His love for her and the memories of the great sex are not allowing him to see this objectively for what it really is.

He needs to move on man.

[Bretsky]

always gotta leave a small opening for the hottie to come back :!:
If she is desperate enough she'll the the last to agree to a dual role with the decent up and comer. Since the up and comer wants to stay around they will be fine with it regardless
Have some integrity B. She's a egotistical bitch who's getting fat. She's dumped the guy twice after wanting to do it many times before that. She's told all her friends that he's lied, when in reality she had no business telling him what to do in the first place.

His love for her and the memories of the great sex are not allowing him to see this objectively for what it really is.

He needs to move on man.


She may not be quite as hot......but she's still got those wonderful bazooka's/features that make her irresistable. :lol:

[MJZiggy]

Well you're a hopeless boob man (there are other tits in the sea you know). But some guys are ass men or leg men and are more indifferent (read less obsessed) to those things than you.

[BallHawk]

If she is desperate enough she'll the the last to agree to a dual role with the decent up and comer.

Brett's going to agree to have a threesome?:?:

This thread is getting confusing.

[mission]

i always got/get the baddest broad so chances are, ive already had my eyes on the young hottie and have planted the seed knowing full well that my girl is going off to college to get trains ran on her by the backup quarterback (not brett or arod) and a couple wideouts with 11 inch cocks.

either way, im going to get her (young one) and a few of her friends drunk, make them eat each other out while i watch and then talk (we'll call it talk) the freakiest one into a good ol game of ATM or ... ass to mouth if you're scoring at home.

[Dabaddestbear]

Yeah but what if it was Hall of Fame sex?
:D Good one.

[Badgerinmaine]

Yeah but what if it was Hall of Fame sex?
Then put up a bronze statue of her vagina outside your bedroom if you must, but for God sakes 3irty1, move on son!

I'd like to show up at the trophy shop the day that customer comes in... :oops:

[Badgerinmaine]

Yeah but what if it was Hall of Fame sex?
Is that where you have to wait five years until after you retire for admission? :P

[Badgerinmaine]

Well you're a hopeless boob man (there are other tits in the sea you know).

Then I must be going to the beach in the wrong damn places.

[MJZiggy]

South Beach. I wasn't warned ahead. :shock:

[Fritz]

But the old hottie now feels betrayed by MM and TT. She used to work so hard to get rid of that muffin top in the offseason, and now she's let it go, though she swears she's been working out and is getting into shape.
The old hottie has had latent disenfranchisement for a long time because the guy would never listen to him. If it wasn't for the pressure of the guy and all his friends (and the fact that she was getting paid millions to stay in the relatinship), she would have dumped him long ago. It was a flirtatious call by the guy's arch enemy that finally made her dump him once and for all after considering it many times in the past. She did it and actually thought seriously about taking him back once and then said she can't do it.

We've all seen these kinds of relationships. There is way too much bad history and it has run its course. No matter how bad the guy wants it to work, it won't. The old egotistical bitch who's getting a big ass doesn't really want it to. Her ego is too big to expect she'll change her ways and seriously diet. Now she just wants to do Adkins for a couple weeks and she thinks that'll get her back in shape. She's fighting a losing battle because as her body continues to age, her hips continue to widen. That's impossible to change. She's just running more and more on her past reputation and very soon, that's all she'll have left.

It's well past the time to go after the young hottie and start afresh.

Wow. You just described the last five years of my marriage. I just hope TT and MM learn more quickly than I did. And if the analogy holds true, by the way, then Favre did seduce the Queens and the tampering charges are true.

[Fritz]

i always got/get the baddest broad so chances are, ive already had my eyes on the young hottie and have planted the seed knowing full well that my girl is going off to college to get trains ran on her by the backup quarterback (not brett or arod) and a couple wideouts with 11 inch cocks.

either way, im going to get her (young one) and a few of her friends drunk, make them eat each other out while i watch and then talk (we'll call it talk) the freakiest one into a good ol game of ATM or ... ass to mouth if you're scoring at home.

I'm not really sure what you mean. Could you be a bit more explicit?

Wow.

[Badgerinmaine]

Wow. You just described the last five years of my marriage. I just hope TT and MM learn more quickly than I did.

I just hope your wife doesn't read these boards. :P

[Fritz]

Ex-wife. She asked me for the divorce last August. That's part of the analogy - the part about Favre asking for his release.

I wonder if Favre has the male equivalent of a muffin top now?

[Badgerinmaine]

Okay...this thread has me feeling like I am back in English Lit class in high school or college hunting for allegories and symbolism..."So you see, Captain Ahab represents Wade Phillips and his quest for a championship, symbolized by Moby Dick...or is it that Wade Phillips is the Great White Whale and TO is Captain Ahab...or maybe Tony Romo..."

[Fritz]

Let me 'splain, BadgerinMaine:

Brett Favre = the old high school hottie and - in part (so this is more metaphor than allegory) my ex-wife.

Aaron Rodgers = the hot sophomore chick

The Guy = TT and, perhaps, the fans.

Now, in Bretsky's world, we can have both Favre AND Rodgers, because Bretsky likes watching lesbians with big boobs. Make sense so far?

The "muffin top" reference regarding the old hottie suggests that Favre is not what he once was. In the allegorical reading of this, The Adkins diet referred to in an earlier post refers to Favre thinking he can get in shape by working out at a high school. In the more metaphorical reading about my ex-wife, the Adkins diet refereence is more literal than symbolic. In the Bretsky reading (hereafter known as the post-modernist gender and sexuality reading), it doesn't matter if one of the lesbians has a muffin top as long as her boobs are big. The vaguely homoerotic or even homosexual nature of the allegorical reading of this whole thing is also one that can be supported. TT is alleged to be a homosexual, as are most unmarried men, and of course once Bretsky introduced the lesbian component, the suggestion of a Favre/Rodgers intimate engagement reared its ugly head.

It's a mad, mad, mad, mad world.

[Badgerinmaine]

I'd gotten it pretty well through "make sense so far?" already, but I think I can pass the test now...I have had the prerequisite Bretsky courses in the Garbage Can.
"Ugly head", eh? 8-)

[MJZiggy]

Let's not go there...




Wait. You should know what a muffin top is. It's when a girl continues to wear the low-riding pants that once fit her well (or maybe they never did, who knows?) but now she's gained some weight and the fat bubbles over the waistband like a plumber named bubba (you know who you are, dude and I'll go ahead and say that you need bigger pants).

Anyway, the resulting effect resembles a muffin.