packinpatland
03-12-2009, 10:43 AM
Why GOD MADE MOMS
>
> Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:
>
> Why did God make mothers?
> 1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
> 2. Mostly to clean the house.
> 3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
>
> How did God make mothers?
> 1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
> 2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
> 3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
>
>
> What ingredients are mothers made of ?
> 1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the
> world and one dab of mean.
> 2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use
> string, I think.
>
> Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
> 1. We're related.
> 2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.
>
> What kind of little girl was your mom?
> 1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
> 2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
> 3. They say she used to be nice.
>
> What did Mom need to know about dad before she married him?
> 1. His last name.
> 2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on
> beer?
> 3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to
> chores?
>
> Why did your mom marry your dad?
> 1. My dad makes t he best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
> 2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
> 3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
>
> Who's the boss at your house?
> 1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof
> ball.
> 2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
> 3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
>
> What's the difference between moms & dads?
> 1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
> 2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them...
> 3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause
> that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
> 4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
>
> What does your mom do in her spare time?
> 1. Mothers don't do spare time.
> 2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
>
> What would it take to make your mom perfect?
> 1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of
> plastic surgery.
> 2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
>
> If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
> 1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of
> that.
> 2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it
> and not me.
> 3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of
> her head.
>
> Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:
>
> Why did God make mothers?
> 1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
> 2. Mostly to clean the house.
> 3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
>
> How did God make mothers?
> 1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
> 2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
> 3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
>
>
> What ingredients are mothers made of ?
> 1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the
> world and one dab of mean.
> 2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use
> string, I think.
>
> Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
> 1. We're related.
> 2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.
>
> What kind of little girl was your mom?
> 1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
> 2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
> 3. They say she used to be nice.
>
> What did Mom need to know about dad before she married him?
> 1. His last name.
> 2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on
> beer?
> 3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to
> chores?
>
> Why did your mom marry your dad?
> 1. My dad makes t he best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
> 2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
> 3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
>
> Who's the boss at your house?
> 1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof
> ball.
> 2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
> 3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
>
> What's the difference between moms & dads?
> 1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
> 2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them...
> 3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause
> that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
> 4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
>
> What does your mom do in her spare time?
> 1. Mothers don't do spare time.
> 2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
>
> What would it take to make your mom perfect?
> 1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of
> plastic surgery.
> 2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
>
> If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
> 1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of
> that.
> 2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it
> and not me.
> 3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of
> her head.