Kids and Sports

[GrnBay007]

Different times in here we've had conversations about kids playing sports. I found this article and thought it was interesting. I was especially surprised by the 70% drop out rate, but actually it's right in line with what the President of Little League told us this year with reference to the filtering out before high school sports. Even if your kids are little and aren't playing yet, there's some good advise here.



Players and Drop-Outs:

Thirty-eight million kids play organized sports. Of these, more than 70% drop out by age 13. One of their major reasons for dropping out: negative youth sports memories.

Building positive youth sports memories in the early years of youth sports is the major key to keeping kids playing sports in junior high and high school. Parents play an essential role in building positive memories. In a survey asking 6-12 year-olds why they continue to participate in sports, positive parent support was one of the major reasons. (Reference: The number one reason that younger children (up to age 10 or so) play a particular sport is that their friends play that sport.)

Measuring Progress:

Many kids drop out of youth sports because they compare themselves to other kids and decide they can't compete successfully. A key to keeping kids in sports is teaching them to compete against themselves by measuring their progress (movement toward a goal) in three areas: frequency (how often), duration (how long they repeat), and intensity (how much energy is involved).

Eagerly Look for Positives:

A key to building positive memories is to actively, and eagerly, look for positives to praise: skills, hustle, knowledge of the game, good sportsmanship, giving your all, encouraging teammates, etc.

Really Emphasize Successes:

It's not enough for us to notice the positives. We have to make a “big deal” out of their successes. Kids like action and commotion. When we celebrate successes (i.e., any progress) with cheering, clapping, high fives, game balls, certificates, etc., the kids hear it, notice it, and remember it, forming positive memories.

Offer support to help your kids learn from mistakes:

Many kids lose interest in sports because they live in fear of making mistakes in competition. Ironically, one of the greatest lessons in sports is that it's okay to make a mistake. In fact, when kids make a mistake, and learn from it, the mistake is a stepping stone to improvement.

Remember to Laugh and Have Fun:

In survey after survey, when kids are asked why they play and continue to play sports, the number one reason is to have fun.

If we maintain a sense of humor, and show our kids that we're having fun at their games, it helps keep a positive atmosphere, ripe for developing positive memories.

Expect Only What is Reasonable:

Age often determines a child's level of physical coordination, motivation and dedication. Expecting total dedication and motivation for sports from a child under 13 is unrealistic.

Kids who drop out of sports often cite negative memories of not being able to live up to adult expectations. Kids, in general, approach sports as a process (uniforms, relationships, the thrill of the game, snacks, etc.) rather than an end product. Adults tend to emphasize the “end product” (who won, how many hits, goals, touchdowns, baskets, etc.).

In two separate surveys, kids listed winning at the bottom of their list of reasons why they play sports. They want to win, but it's not the determining factor. And yet, adults (and the media) often send the message that winning is everything. The first and most important thing a parent can say after a game – “Did you have fun?”

Gender Makes a Difference:

In general, girls are affected more by the social aspects of sports than are boys. Girls are motivated through positive relationships with teammates and coaches. In general, they're less responsive to statistics, and more interested in the human aspect of sports. We must beware of expecting too much, too soon from our kids, setting them up for failure.

Kids Should Not Be Specialists:

We have become a culture obsessed with specialization, but for young athletes, being involved in lots of different sports may be better. The more experience they gain with physical challenges, mental tests and fitting into the fabric of a team, the quicker they'll develop and excel as competitors and individuals.

Set a Good Example of Sportsmanship:

If we react to game situations with sportsmanship (winning without gloating, losing without complaining, showing respect for opponents and officials), we help our kids develop the same traits. Sportsmanship builds positive memories and keeps kids wanting to play.

(Source: Dr. Darrell Burnett, “It's Just a Game! Youth, Sports & Self Esteem: A Guide for Parents.” See also his website, www.djburnett.com, along with his other books, booklets, and audio tapes on the topic of youth sports).

[woodbuck27]

That article certainly rings true.

If the parent doesn't apply pressure on the child to excell but rather to participate as a team member,To be just a part of the bigger team effort to win. To grow in the sport by setting personal goals - then the child will grow faster to gain the pleasure of being a part of a possible winning team effort.

Not every child will be the batting Champion or participate on the Championship team, but a great attitude in life overall is certainly gained, by being active in organized sports. Children/teens that are active in sports are more deterred from hanging out with the wrong crowd, and falling into delinquency.

I started in organized sports at about 10 years of age.That is too late.Get the kids into whatever is available when the child is 6-8 years old. Even though I started late, I developed and almost won a batting title in Babe Ruth League baseball and my team were League Champs when I was 16.That was an awesome feeling and other teams I played on later in life won Championships. I always tried to give my best. Allow the stars to be the stars.

Attitude, hustle and dependability are certainly as important as being the star. This has to be instilled in the child/early teen, as certainly peer pressure will rise it's ugly head, and the child or early teen has to be guided to shake that off. To never - just quit.

Organized sports are the opportunity to learn for a persons long term success.The grooming grounds.

As parents, we have to get involved with OUR children to instill proper principles in them via organized sport participation.

Don't just pay for the ball, bat and glove and send your child off to the games. Go and cheer your kids team on as well. Be there to boost your child whenever you discern the need for that. A pat on the head, a slap on the back, a hug are worth as much certainly, as that batting title or league championship. Be there for your children.

The value of that, is something very special that will carry your child to responsible adulthood.

[MJZiggy]

Nice post Woodbuck. All I could add is don't push them into it if they don't want to play. Some kids just don't.

[woodbuck27]

Nice post Woodbuck. All I could add is don't push them into it if they don't want to play. Some kids just don't.

Yes Ziggy, but try at least, without undo pressure to get the child to participate in something extra curricular. It's alot to do with that child's social development away from the peers of the school environment.

To build a storeroom of proper esteem and therefore confidence and abilty to make choices from more options. Certainly don't expect anything from the children except for them to develop courage.

It's really tougher now from all I realize.

[BallHawk]

I play baseball and everything, and it really pisses me off to see these Dads who live their lives through their kids. There is a kid in my class who enjoys playing sports and everything, but in one football game he dropped a crucial 4th down pass and his Dad didn't allow him to go to the movies with his friends the next day. Some of these Dads forget that the game is supposed to be played for the enjoyment of the kid. Yes, I know that the parents are proud to see their kids succeed, but they really need to remind themselves once in a while that it's a game.

[GrnBay007]

That's insane to punish a kid for dropping a pass. No wonder the stats say kids drop out because of the pressure and because it's not being fun anymore. Sad!!

[Oscar]

I have two of my kids of age to play sports. My 9 and 6 year old dughters are very much into sports. I coached my oldest in T-Ball her first two years and now just help with both my kids teams. My work schedule makes it hard to be the coach so I just help with practice and at the games. My first year I had kids that were pre-school and k-garden ages. So for me it was all about them learing how to play the game.. Where to run when you get a hit.. etc. Our first game me and the other teams coach decided before the game to just let the kids bat around the order and not worry about three outs. Well... shit... wouldnt you know it my kids got the other team on outs. I had a parent stand up and scream because we were letting them bat around. I tried to explain the situation and somehow managed to keep my cool..( I wanted to kick the shit outta the guy :wink: ) This guy had his kid taken off the team and moved to one of the other teams. He is on the city counsel so he is a lil better than the rest of us. His kid is the next comming of Cy Young don't you know.. That was my first experience with the crazy actions that parents bring into childrens sports. Some parents would yell at there kids in front of everyone for messing up. Keep in mind these kids were 5 years old.. I tell my daughters to do there best and I'll always be proud of them.

[GrnBay007]

It's sad to say, but the irrate/wacko parents are beginning to ruin the youth sports world. My son is only 10 but he's been playing organized sports for 4 years and I've seen wayyy more than I care to see from parents going way overboard.

[BallHawk]

I haven't even talked about the parent that threatend to get a shotgun out of his car and shoot the umpire, yet.

[woodbuck27]

I haven't even talked about the parent that threatend to get a shotgun out of his car and shoot the umpire, yet.

It's my honest and most fair observation that the way OUR grandparents and parents played the game was alot better than we will witness today if given the exposure to todays ways.

I'm sorry, but the world is going more to blazes all the time. It sickens me to see how some people I even really love and care about, allow things to be so wrong and destructive in their lives, and all I have is the pain of their double standard - double barrell'd - take no prisoners approach to conducting their selfish lives.

I believe there is only one way to live a sanitized life today and that is to lock oneself away. That isn't a viable choice - so we live with the crazies! Try to maintain OUR own dignity and self control when they get in OUR faces.

That is quite a challenge. :roll:

[Partial]

I haven't even talked about the parent that threatend to get a shotgun out of his car and shoot the umpire, yet.

It's my honest and most fair observation that the way OUR grandparents and parents played the game was alot better than we will witness today if given the exposure to todays ways.

I'm sorry, but the world is going more to blazes all the time. It sickens me to see how some people I even really love and care about, allow things to be so wrong and destructive in their lives, and all I have is the pain of their double standard - double barrell'd - take no prisoners approach to conducting their selfish lives.

I believe there is only one way to live a sanitized life today and that is to lock oneself away. That isn't a viable choice - so we live with the crazies! Try to maintain OUR own dignity and self control when they get in OUR faces.

That is quite a challenge. :roll:

very well put woody

[Tony Oday]

I do a little umping for a summer tourney in my city for middle school kids in baseball. EVERY year I have to kick out a parent. EVERY year. Its sad. Last year the guy said something to the affect that he was going to ruin me because of the call, aka he thought he was some big shot. Well I didnt kick him out but warned him about language and yadda yadda and basically mad him look stupid infront of everyone and even his kid was telling him to be quiet. WELL later that day I was at the hotdog stand with the wife and brotehr in law and this guy comes up to me AGAIN and starts yelling at me saying he will kick my ass blah blah blah well at this point my mother in law comes up to me and wouldnt you know it she was his BOSS :)

It was HILARIOUS he was kissing my ass the rest of the tournament. I thought it was really funny that he was that upset about a ballgame and in the process getting into the doghouse with his boss :) Ah Karma.

BTW he was mad because of a call at the plate involving his kid sliding. Well even his kid came up to me later and said I was out ump good call :)

[BallHawk]

I do a little umping for a summer tourney in my city for middle school kids in baseball. EVERY year I have to kick out a parent. EVERY year. Its sad. Last year the guy said something to the affect that he was going to ruin me because of the call, aka he thought he was some big shot. Well I didnt kick him out but warned him about language and yadda yadda and basically mad him look stupid infront of everyone and even his kid was telling him to be quiet. WELL later that day I was at the hotdog stand with the wife and brotehr in law and this guy comes up to me AGAIN and starts yelling at me saying he will kick my ass blah blah blah well at this point my mother in law comes up to me and wouldnt you know it she was his BOSS :)


That made me smile. :mrgreen:

[BallHawk]

And the worse thing I have ever seen was during one of our baseball games a dad from the opposing team got drunk during the game. So predictably, the whole game he was heckling the umpire and cursing him off. Why the umpire did not remove him I do not know. He just ignored it. Our team won, but at the end of the game the Dad was walking back to the car cursing into the air, everybody was looking at him, and then the Dad told his own son that he was pathetic, and the kid was crying. It was just horrible.

[MJZiggy]

The worst I ever saw was at a 4-year old soccer game. Yes, I said 4-year-old. This is amoeba soccer at it's finest and we had a very talented little kid on our team that was a little faster and better than everyone else. Some guy from the other team was loudly heckling the whole game and at one point this talented kid collided with his kid and he started screaming that it was intentional and they were playing dirty and that the coaches should control their players. He was yelling at the kid and at the coaches. The league was self-umped, after all, they were 4-year olds. This man had the poor kid in tears thinking he had done something wrong and was heard after the game "explaining" to our coach how he runs too fast and we should make him slow down. His wife was following him around begging him to shut up. There were compaints made to the league, but I don't know what ever became of it. I certainly hope his behavior had no long-term effect on the little guy because I have never seen a child play soccer so well with such joy in my life.

[BallHawk]

Just wrong.

[GrnBay007]

BTW he was mad because of a call at the plate involving his kid sliding. Well even his kid came up to me later and said I was out ump good call :)

comical when the kids act more mature than the parents.

[Tony Oday]

its just sad some of these parents...

[Oscar]

I think the kids have a pretty good idea of whats right and wrong. Sometimes the coach may wind up being one of the crazy parents were all talking bout. We play a team twice a year that has just that person in charge. Last season it was really bad.. The kids in the other dugout were chanting and heckling our team.. Though I wasn't the head coach I was big time pissed. When my daughter came up to bat I could have very easly turned into one of these morons. Instead, I told her to choke up on the bat and put the ball in the grass...But, don't be afraid of striking out.. You can't get a hit if you don't swing.She had a good game but we still lost.. But, I feel that even though the score was in there favor.. We were the better team that day. The team record doesn't always reflect the true meaning of the word.. Winner..

[GrnBay007]

Little League here is very strict on heckling, they don't tolerate it at all and it's really nice that way.

[Oscar]

I wish that was the case here. It can be very frustrating as a coach and as a dad.

[woodbuck27]

The worst I ever saw was at a 4-year old soccer game. Yes, I said 4-year-old. This is amoeba soccer at it's finest and we had a very talented little kid on our team that was a little faster and better than everyone else. Some guy from the other team was loudly heckling the whole game and at one point this talented kid collided with his kid and he started screaming that it was intentional and they were playing dirty and that the coaches should control their players. He was yelling at the kid and at the coaches. The league was self-umped, after all, they were 4-year olds. This man had the poor kid in tears thinking he had done something wrong and was heard after the game "explaining" to our coach how he runs too fast and we should make him slow down. His wife was following him around begging him to shut up. There were compaints made to the league, but I don't know what ever became of it. I certainly hope his behavior had no long-term effect on the little guy because I have never seen a child play soccer so well with such joy in my life.


http://www.footballlinks.net/Images/SKNew8.gif

** Fun generates enthusiasm

** Enthusiasm generates practice

** Practice makes good players

[Fosco33]

http://www.cnn.com/2006/HEALTH/parenting/07/03/kids.sports.parents/index.html

[GBRulz]

What I don't get with so many of todays youth sports programs is giving trophies out to the 9th place team in a 10 team tournament.

Winning a trophy really used to be a big deal, now everyone gets one. Perhaps that a small factor in contributing to the greed of so many parents and even players. They simply take things for granted.

[BallHawk]

What I don't get with so many of todays youth sports programs is giving trophies out to the 9th place team in a 10 team tournament.

Winning a trophy really used to be a big deal, now everyone gets one. Perhaps that a small factor in contributing to the greed of so many parents and even players. They simply take things for granted.

It's to show the kids they're all special and even though they hit their first base coach in the nuts with a bat, they're still a champion. :roll:

[GBRulz]

What I don't get with so many of todays youth sports programs is giving trophies out to the 9th place team in a 10 team tournament.

Winning a trophy really used to be a big deal, now everyone gets one. Perhaps that a small factor in contributing to the greed of so many parents and even players. They simply take things for granted.

It's to show the kids they're all special and even though they hit their first base coach in the nuts with a bat, they're still a champion. :roll:

LOL - and when they hit the coach he turns around and sues, right? :wink:

[Deputy Nutz]

My parents refused to allow me join any select teams for Baseball and Basketball. They just didn't agree with the philosophy and the expectations that these org put onto kids. I wasn't allowed to play aau basketball or on traveling baseball teams in the summer. I had to either play on my school's team, or in a rec league that did not cut players. It enraged me to no end, and I hand one or two outburst during games because of my less than athletic teammates, but as a grew up it taught me how to be how to help my teammates and coach them, rather than just cutting on them all the time.

I also had a bit of a temper and a competitive edge to me, that my parents felt I might burn out if I played in altra competitive leagues. Did they make the right call in the end? I don't know, I still think I would have been a much better baseball player, but I think it helped me to be a better coach, and it will most likely help me be a better father of an athlete when my kids get older.

[BallHawk]

Nutz was an all-star?!?!? :shock:

[BallHawk]

And funny enough Rick Reiley's article in SI is about exactly what we're talking about. If you get SI you should read it, it is so true.