Post game chat with Cleft Crusty (Bears)

[Cleft Crusty]

Hi Folks,

Well, a long offseason has come to a close and Cleft Crusty finds himself back on Packerrats trying to deliver the kind of derisive and inconsequential commentary you have come to expect and demand from a semi-retired columnist. I have to admit that I am lucky to be here. Let me tell you a story. After several summers of cycling around the nation on the back of my Harley, stopping to soak in the nostalgia at every set of historic high school football field bleachers, my wife finally put her foot down and said, enough! So Clefty had to plan a real vacation, and off we went to a Carribean island and the beaches. Now, Clefty hasn’t been in the sun, let alone at the beach, in several decades. There are mimes who are more tan looking than Crusty. So off I went with trepidation – and Plavix -in my heart. To Crusty’s shock, when he walked out of his private cabana and down to the beach, what did he discover? That’s right: his and hers matching antique claw-foot bathtubs! Crusty thought that was just a commercial icon fiction! Well, the wife was excited about the tubs and Crusty had to oblige. Problem is that Crusty had taken a little too much Tenex for high blood pressure, and nodded off in the tub! The wife was tired and also drifted off. Drifted off, indeed! While we were sleeping, the tide came in and when Crusty awoke, he found himself adrift in the ocean aboard a highly unseaworthy claw-foot tub. Fortunately, the wife had been rescued before Crusty so it was only a few hours before the coast guard cutter picked Crusty out of the ocean. It’s good to be alive – even if Crusty is burned red everywhere except his back and a small – er – region protected only by hands. That being said, I’m ready to answer all your 'burning' questions.

[bobblehead]

Cleft....is allen babre a stud or what?

[SkinBasket]

Cleft, three quickies.

1) What detergent removes urine smells most effectively?

2) What food replenishes blood most effectively?

3) Would you make love to Barbe's wife if it were anatomically possible?

[Cleft Crusty]

Cleft....is allen babre a stud or what?

I've seen more dynamic sacks of flour. McCarthy seemed compelled to completely go with the run game, even with all the problems in the Chicago secondary. Wonder if Tauscher is on McCarthy's speed dial or whether the Packer might have to play musical chairs on the O-line.

[Fosco33]

Is that a real story?? It was damn funny - and only because you're ok.

[Fosco33]

How many pass protections do you need to blow before getting pulled?

Is our OLine that weak in a shift that we couldn't cover for an injured backup?

Why the heck does M3 wait so long to make adjustments?

[Deputy Nutz]

If you have a buddy that keeps bleeding alot would you call him names and make fun of him?

[SkinBasket]

If you have a buddy that keeps bleeding alot would you call him names and make fun of him?

I've got a tampon in my nose. What could you possibly say that would be worse?

[Mr. T]

What's the name of Cutler's emo punk rock band?

[Cleft Crusty]

Cleft, three quickies.

1) What detergent removes urine smells most effectively?

2) What food replenishes blood most effectively?

3) Would you make love to Barbe's wife if it were anatomically possible?

I thought that first question said 'degenerate.' You worry me Mr. Basket. I of course would never recommend food to replenish blood. I would try the experimental drug/powder Oxyvita as a hemoglobin substitute.

[Cleft Crusty]

How many pass protections do you need to blow before getting pulled?

I would have to say that for McCarthy, that number as yet to be reached. It is presently unknowable. But there has to be a gatorade container or a duffle bag that could wear #78 and play just as well.



Is our OLine that weak in a shift that we couldn't cover for an injured backup?

Why the heck does M3 wait so long to make adjustments?

McCarthy is a good offensive mind, but he is pretty stubborn.

[Cleft Crusty]

Is that a real story?? It was damn funny - and only because you're ok.

It's a real story and no, I am not OK.

[bobblehead]

How many pass protections do you need to blow before getting pulled?

I would have to say that for McCarthy, that number as yet to be reached. It is presently unknowable. But there has to be a gatorade container or a duffle bag that could wear #78 and play just as well.



Is our OLine that weak in a shift that we couldn't cover for an injured backup?

Why the heck does M3 wait so long to make adjustments?

McCarthy is a good offensive mind, but he is pretty stubborn.

Breno was inactive so pulling babre would have put the whole line in dissarray.

[Fosco33]

Is that a real story?? It was damn funny - and only because you're ok.

It's a real story and no, I am not OK.

Do you blend in with lobsters and ginger kids? If so - aloe and wait for the big peel.

[Cleft Crusty]

What's the name of Cutler's emo punk rock band?

Why can't you ask serious questions, like everyone else?

[pbmax]

If you have a buddy that keeps bleeding alot would you call him names and make fun of him?

I've got a tampon in my nose. What could you possibly say that would be worse?
Is it Super Plus? Don't leave it in there too long or you'll get Toxic Shock Syndrome in your schnooz.

[Cleft Crusty]

How many pass protections do you need to blow before getting pulled?

I would have to say that for McCarthy, that number as yet to be reached. It is presently unknowable. But there has to be a gatorade container or a duffle bag that could wear #78 and play just as well.



Is our OLine that weak in a shift that we couldn't cover for an injured backup?

Why the heck does M3 wait so long to make adjustments?

McCarthy is a good offensive mind, but he is pretty stubborn.

Breno was inactive so pulling babre would have put the whole line in dissarray.

Maybe I was blind, but there appeared to be quite a bit of disarray out there. But your point is valid - you don't want to kill the patient through treatment, and a mid-game reshuffle poses that possibility.

[pbmax]

Cleft, how was Barbre's pad level tonight? I've got to assume it was pretty terrible.

[Mr. T]

What's the name of Cutler's emo punk rock band?

Why can't you ask serious questions, like everyone else?
Just having fun.

Here's a real question:
Is it too soon to gauge if Cutler has what it takes to be a successful QB for the Bears? Or is he just another in a long line of unsuccessful Bears QB's?

[Cleft Crusty]

If you have a buddy that keeps bleeding alot would you call him names and make fun of him?

I've got a tampon in my nose. What could you possibly say that would be worse?

Mr. Deputy,
You should never make fun of a friend, unless of course you can kick his tail in a fight.

Mr. Skin, there are many, many worse things than a Tampon in your nose. Over the past several years, in the attempt to keep this failing corpse alive, Crusty has had so many different devices and implants inside his body that knowing them all would make you cry.

[Cleft Crusty]

Cleft, how was Barbre's pad level tonight? I've got to assume it was pretty terrible.

You can't really determine pad level until they are in use. I will watch carefully next week to look at pad level once Barbre starts blocking.

[SkinBasket]

If you have a buddy that keeps bleeding alot would you call him names and make fun of him?

I've got a tampon in my nose. What could you possibly say that would be worse?
Is it Super Plus? Don't leave it in there too long or you'll get Toxic Shock Syndrome in your schnooz.

I'm on antibiotics expressly to prevent this. They did say something about clots in my legs. I don't even know what that means, so I didn't ask.

[Cleft Crusty]

What's the name of Cutler's emo punk rock band?

Why can't you ask serious questions, like everyone else?
Just having fun.

Here's a real question:
Is it too soon to gauge if Cutler has what it takes to be a successful QB for the Bears? Or is he just another in a long line of unsuccessful Bears QB's?

I would go with unsuccessful until proven otherwise. Chicago is a graveyard for quarterbacks. Cutler too may end up being a future voter.

[Cleft Crusty]

If you have a buddy that keeps bleeding alot would you call him names and make fun of him?

I've got a tampon in my nose. What could you possibly say that would be worse?
Is it Super Plus? Don't leave it in there too long or you'll get Toxic Shock Syndrome in your schnooz.

I'm on antibiotics expressly to prevent this. They did say something about clots in my legs. I don't even know what that means, so I didn't ask.

Clefty can recommend a blood thinner to make sure you don't develop and embolism in your legs.

[HowardRoark]

If you have a buddy that keeps bleeding alot would you call him names and make fun of him?

I've got a tampon in my nose. What could you possibly say that would be worse?
Is it Super Plus? Don't leave it in there too long or you'll get Toxic Shock Syndrome in your schnooz.

I'm on antibiotics expressly to prevent this. They did say something about clots in my legs. I don't even know what that means, so I didn't ask.

Clefty can recommend a blood thinner to make sure you don't develop and embolism in your legs.

Get some rat poison (Coumadin/warfarin ), but don't take too much. And Skin, get an ultrasound on the legs. Strokes ain't fun.

[Iron Mike]

Clefty can recommend a blood thinner to make sure you don't develop and embolism in your legs.

You don't get an embolism in your legs.....you get a thrombosis, which can migrate to the lungs or heart and become an embolism.

[denverYooper]

Cleft, do you think we looked like Steelers west tonight? Our quarterback got hit alot and our O looked rough for 58 minutes but the defense kept us in the game until the O pulled it together for that last 2 minute drive.

[swede]

Clefty can recommend a blood thinner to make sure you don't develop and embolism in your legs.

You don't get an embolism in your legs.....you get a thrombosis, which can migrate to the lungs or heart and become an embolism.

I played the thrombosis in high school jazz band.

Mr. Crusty,

I saw Hawk and Barnett out there, but rarely saw them in on plays. Chillar did great obviously, and I saw a few flashes of Matthews, but how would you assess the lb play tonight?

[Cleft Crusty]

Clefty can recommend a blood thinner to make sure you don't develop and embolism in your legs.

You don't get an embolism in your legs.....you get a thrombosis, which can migrate to the lungs or heart and become an embolism.

Forgive me - I've had both several times - so the two just blur together, like my vision when I get a blood clot in the brain - that's a TIA or stroke I think.

[pbmax]

If you have a buddy that keeps bleeding alot would you call him names and make fun of him?

I've got a tampon in my nose. What could you possibly say that would be worse?
Is it Super Plus? Don't leave it in there too long or you'll get Toxic Shock Syndrome in your schnooz.

I'm on antibiotics expressly to prevent this. They did say something about clots in my legs. I don't even know what that means, so I didn't ask.
Is Nutz dressed as a nurse right now?

[Cleft Crusty]

Clefty can recommend a blood thinner to make sure you don't develop and embolism in your legs.

You don't get an embolism in your legs.....you get a thrombosis, which can migrate to the lungs or heart and become an embolism.

I played the thrombosis in high school jazz band.

Mr. Crusty,

I saw Hawk and Barnett out there, but rarely saw them in on plays. Chillar did great obviously, and I saw a few flashes of Matthews, but how would you assess the lb play tonight?

I actually thought the coverage by LBs in the pass game was decent (completions to the TEs came against safeties and Forte was a non-factor out of the backfield), and the pursuit in the run game was actually pretty good. I'd like to look at the tape.

[Little Whiskey]

If you have a buddy that keeps bleeding alot would you call him names and make fun of him?

I've got a tampon in my nose. What could you possibly say that would be worse?

Try bullets instead. it turned out well for cheech and chong

and yes nuts, I would laugh at a buddy who has tampons shoved up his nose and bleeding. just don't let him sneeze on you.

[Cleft Crusty]

Cleft, do you think we looked like Steelers west tonight? Our quarterback got hit alot and our O looked rough for 58 minutes but the defense kept us in the game until the O pulled it together for that last 2 minute drive.

Good comment. The completeness of your comparison depends on the relative strength of the Titans and the Bears. I think the Bears a re a pretty good team. You could argue that they significantly outplayed the Packers. The counter argument is that the Packers left a lot of points/plays on the field. Two good teams, really beating the tar out of each other. It was classic Black and Blue Packer-Bear football.

[superfan]

Mr. Crusty,

Would you blame tonight's overall lack of offensive consistency on:

a) RT Allen Barbre's turnstile approach to pass blocking
b) Staunch effort by Bear defense
c) McCarthy's lack of commitment to the running game
d) all or none of the above

Signed,

Sleeping restfully after a victory in Minnesota

[Cleft Crusty]

Mr. Crusty,

Would you blame tonight's overall lack of offensive consistency on:

a) RT Allen Barbre's turnstile approach to pass blocking
b) Staunch effort by Bear defense
c) McCarthy's lack of commitment to the running game
d) all or none of the above

Signed,

Sleeping restfully after a victory in Minnesota

a, b and the fact that the Packers just didn't finish on some plays. They left 10 points on the field due to unforced errors. A bit rough out there to say the least.

[Scott Campbell]

Cleft, how do the Packers keep Brandon Chillar off the field?

[Deputy Nutz]

Cleft, how do the Packers keep Brandon Chillar off the field?

Cleft is tired out, too many questions.

Chillar gets thumped when blockers come his way, he does his best to run around them, but when a team sees both Barnett and Chillar on the field I have no idea why they don't just run power leads at them.


Chillar is a very good blitzer, athletic, but run stopper? No.

Hawk did a very good job against the run on Sunday night and his coverage in the middle of the field was pretty good.

Barnett was invisible most of the night, but that is to be expected. Chillar and Barnett played alot together right away in the first quarter. The Packers were in nickel. Mathews was also in right away. Hawk was in on the first play, and then was on the bench for the next 15 or so.

Hawk came in, and was then in pretty much the rest of the game, unless the Packers went straight nickel. Chillar and Barnett did most of the rotating in the second half. Mathews pretty much played the entire game, poppinga is worthless now that Mathews is healthy.

Like I said when Capers was hired, they will rotate all of these linebackers for their best combinations on any given play set.

[pbmax]

Cleft, how do the Packers keep Brandon Chillar off the field?

Cleft is tired out, too many questions.

Chillar gets thumped when blockers come his way, he does his best to run around them, but when a team sees both Barnett and Chillar on the field I have no idea why they don't just run power leads at them.


Chillar is a very good blitzer, athletic, but run stopper? No.

Hawk did a very good job against the run on Sunday night and his coverage in the middle of the field was pretty good.

Barnett was invisible most of the night, but that is to be expected. Chillar and Barnett played alot together right away in the first quarter. The Packers were in nickel. Mathews was also in right away. Hawk was in on the first play, and then was on the bench for the next 15 or so.

Hawk came in, and was then in pretty much the rest of the game, unless the Packers went straight nickel. Chillar and Barnett did most of the rotating in the second half. Mathews pretty much played the entire game, poppinga is worthless now that Mathews is healthy.

Like I said when Capers was hired, they will rotate all of these linebackers for their best combinations on any given play set.
Agree with your points, although I did not see Hawk as much as you did in second half. I probably missed him. He was stout in run D and have two good coverages I saw, one on Olsen in a double team, the other in a zone where his drop was deep enough to force an overthrow.

Chillar looks like he will be a great sub in nickel. The only concern is the run you mentioned, straight up the gut when he is in there with only 2 D lineman.

[Bossman641]

Did Bishop play at all last night? Was he even active?

EDIT* Pretty sure I remember seeing him on some ST units. I don't know about defense though.

[Cleft Crusty]

I did not see Bishop in at LB, but my vision was a little blurry. It was either my pain meds or I was missing my glasses, though I have to admit I'm not sure whether I own glasses in the first place.

Chillar is an athletic guy, with wheels, but he is a little hesitant in his run fits. He was on his heels a few times watching when he should have stuck his nose in there.

[Cleft Crusty]

P.S. That Mr. Nutz knows his football. He should have his own column. I would enjoy seeing a column from Mr. Nutz in the UrinalScented - and perhaps Lori Nickle could go back to writing for the Lifetime network. And really, he should be Sheriff Nutz by now.

[Fritz]

Cleft, how was Barbre's pad level tonight? I've got to assume it was pretty terrible.

You can't really determine pad level until they are in use. I will watch carefully next week to look at pad level once Barbre starts blocking.

so Cleft, are you predicting that Barbe will actually start blocking next week?