Five Pound Burger Challenge

[Deputy Nutz]

Well the local Fuddruckers is running a 5lb burger challenge today in honor of Fat Tuesday. Every year I make a big production about wanting to do it, then I forget about it, well this is the day that I am taking the cow by the utter and sinking my teeth into five pounds of juicy meat.

So go fuck yourselves

[Joemailman]

Wimp. Go for the old 96er.

http://blogs.westword.com/cafesociety/fictional_restaurants_3.jpg

[Scott Campbell]

A 5 pound hamburger, or as they're better known in Milwaukee - a "slider".

[Freak Out]

A 5 pound burger should give you your annual recommended allowance of bovine growth hormone.

Guten appetit.

[Deputy Nutz]

Well it wasn't all that good, the taste of the thing is what did me in. It was baked instead of grilted, so it tasted like a big round meatloaf. I got a little more than half way through it and I could barely swallow. I was eating like three pickle slices per bite just to kill the taste.

Then when I was about half way through, a guy actually finished it, Then he started puking all over the table and the hostess came running with a bucket. So I heard all of this and saw all of it, it was a bit hard to continue after that, besides everyone then talking about vomit kinda puts a damper on your urge to eat.

He comes out from the table with puke stains all over his shirt with his wife and kid. The kid is so damn proud of his father it is almost laughable. The kid looked at me like I was some kinda of gum on his shoe, his dad was the man, he finished the whole thing and even puked all over himself.

Then his wife says, " hey honey this guy(me) is actually eating it whole, instead of mashing it up and pouring his shake all over it and slurping it up."

I guess my technique was suffering.

[Scott Campbell]

And it sounded like such a great idea when you first brought it up.



What the hell is wrong with those people - baking a hamburger? I'm sure the puker was great for business.

[red]

LOL

i've had their half pounder before and it was damn good

sucks they baked it, they usually have my favorite burgers

if i were you nutz i would have puked on that little fucking kid

[Little Whiskey]

Not sure you'd be able to grill a 5 pounder.

[SkinBasket]

I'm sorry. I'm to blame.

[MJZiggy]

I'm sorry. I'm to blame.

So it was you who barfed, huh?

[Freak Out]

I thought you were joking but I found some evidence.

http://blogs.riverfronttimes.com/gutcheck/2010/02/man_vs_burger_the_fuddruckers_five_pound_challenge .php

[SkinBasket]

I'm sorry. I'm to blame.

So it was you who barfed, huh?

I was supposed to be there to provide my magically beneficial emotional support, but had to cancel. Without my cheers of, "Just eat it you pussy!" I'm afraid nutz was not properly motivated.

[Little Whiskey]

I'd bet they guy from Man Vs Food could have handled that burger.

[Deputy Nutz]

Actually the guy from Man v. Food failed in his five pound burger challenge. It is tough. One of the harder one to do.

[MJZiggy]

I wonder if the little 90 lb. chick who wins all the eating contests could do it.

[red]

I wonder if the little 90 lb. chick who wins all the eating contests could do it.

thats a guy

he just looks like a girl because he's asian

[MJZiggy]

No, I've seen her in person. They call her the Black Widow and make a huge fuss because she outeats all the guys.

[SkinBasket]

No, I've seen her in person. They call her the Black Widow and make a huge fuss because she outeats all the guys.

Why does every woman celebrity/"athlete" have to be nicknamed "black widow?" Why can't they be called "sausage whore" or "I hate men lady" or "my business actually looks more like a separated scrotum and a tiny penis than an actual vagina... lady?" Just wondering.

[red]

LOL

[MJZiggy]

Female black widows eat the males after mating, thus proving they're only good for one thing. Kinda the same deal.