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Bretsky
04-15-2010, 06:10 PM
Anybody go there in the past couple years ?

1. How many kids did you go with ?
2. Did you stay on grounds or off grounds ?
3. Where did you stay ?
4. What suggestions would you offer up to parents with 9 and 6yr olds ?


Thanks in advance to anybody who can offer views

Harlan Huckleby
04-15-2010, 09:50 PM
4. What suggestions would you offer up to parents with 9 and 6yr olds ? put them on a plane and send them back to Russia

Tarlam!
04-15-2010, 09:56 PM
Haven't been for a while, but it's timeless.

If you can get a good deal stay on the campus. It makes it easier getting into the park.


The highlight is the parade at the end of the day, so choos a good vantage point and camp out there a good 20 minutes prior. Since it's the END of a LONG day, try and have the girls nap in the afternoon.

I suggest at least 3 hip flasks per day.

SkinBasket
04-16-2010, 09:58 AM
Went last year with our 5 year old.

I thought it sucked balls. The kid wasn't impressed either. We both thought everything would be bigger and honestly, simply better than it was. Lots of lines for crappy, 45 second rides. Masses of rude people. If you insist on going, try to get a deal on one of the places on the property or the tollways will murder you, rape you, then ask you to cook dinner.

I know most of you cocksuckers think it's corny, but Dollywood simply destroys Disney in every regard. Cheaper, better rides for everyone, from little kids to adults, much shorter lines - sometimes no lines at all, and while the people were just as fat and sweaty, they still had some semblance of manners befitting human beings. The food was definitely better and the plane ride is shorter. Plus you're staying in the Smokey Mountains where you can rent an entire fully furnished 4 bedroom cabin with mountain views off the 3rd story deck and a jacuzzi for less than a hotel room with a window looking over the garbage bins in Florida. There's also a lot fewer Asians, if that's an issue for you.

http://www.dollywood.com/dollywood_home.aspx
http://patriotgetaways.com/

Long story short: If you and/or your kids aren't big fans of Disney as a brand or the characters, you're getting much less at a much higher cost and you'll spend the majority of your time standing in line instead of doing things. Maybe riding elephants that weren't Dumbo and sitting in teapots that aren't from Beauty and the Beast cheapens the experience for some people, though.

Maxie the Taxi
04-16-2010, 11:12 AM
Skin is right. If you and/or your kids are not seriously into Disney characters, etc., it might be a bad choice.

If you're into Disney, go. Just don't go to DisneyWorld in the hot season. Go spring, fall or winter. Or you'll swelter to death.

You can get good deals on property if you plan ahead and check specials on internet.

My wife and I love it there. We stay here: http://www.radisson.com/kissimmeefl

It's off property, but it's a great resort hotel with great rates if you plan ahead and look for specials. About a 5 minute drive to the park. The kids might like the Radisson as well as Disney, lots of pool space and organized activities for kids.

We've stayed in one of the hotels in the park too. It's a good experience too. Depending on where you stay, it can be more convenient.

red
04-16-2010, 11:49 AM
stay the hell away from the "its a small world" ride

i went there with my folks when i was little, god damn ride broke down right in the middle of it for like an hour with all these fucking little dolls singing "its a small world" over and over again

it still can't sleep at night

take the little ones to cedar point instead, scare the shit out of them with rides, not dolls

retailguy
04-16-2010, 12:05 PM
stay the hell away from the "its a small world" ride

i went there with my folks when i was little, god damn ride broke down right in the middle of it for like an hour with all these fucking little dolls singing "its a small world" over and over again

it still can't sleep at night

take the little ones to cedar point instead, scare the shit out of them with rides, not dolls

I knew eventually we'd find out what is wrong with you. Now I understand.

:P

Little Whiskey
04-16-2010, 12:50 PM
or the tollways will murder you, rape you, then ask you to cook dinner.



and in that order. dinner won't be very good either.

Scott Campbell
04-16-2010, 06:26 PM
There's also a lot fewer Asians, if that's an issue for you.


I thought you and Nutz liked Asians.

falco
04-16-2010, 06:29 PM
I know most of you cocksuckers think it's corny

At least you know you've got Brando in your corner on this one.

MJZiggy
04-16-2010, 06:47 PM
stay the hell away from the "its a small world" ride

i went there with my folks when i was little, god damn ride broke down right in the middle of it for like an hour with all these fucking little dolls singing "its a small world" over and over again

it still can't sleep at night

take the little ones to cedar point instead, scare the shit out of them with rides, not dolls

Cedar Point was great. Stayed at Castaway Bay that had an indoor water park (cheaper than Great Wolf).

Also, when we lived in Florida and wanted to do better than Disney, we stayed in Tampa and went to Busch Gardens. Rides, animals and beer. What more can you possibly ask for (except college kids dressed like movie characters). We did occasionally go, but had resident discounts and just drove home at the end of the evening.

Brando19
04-16-2010, 08:58 PM
I know most of you cocksuckers think it's corny

At least you know you've got Brando in your corner on this one.


:lol:

Dollywood is alot cheaper and may be the better choice if money is indeed an issue. We go to Dollywood every other year it seems. I went to Disney World once...back in 2002. My sister was 11. It is very very expensive. There's about 6 or 7 theme parks there (including Universal and Sea World) and each park is about $90 a person. Dollywood is only about $50. We stayed on park grounds and it was a good experience. I really enjoyed Animal Kingdom (minus the 15 foot elephant dick that was erect while we rode the Safari ride). If I had it to do over again...I would stay at the Animal Kingdom resort because the animals graze right in your front yard and you can watch them off your balcony. The kids will love Disney World...but your wallet will not.

Freak Out
04-16-2010, 09:41 PM
I have not been to Disney or Knott's Berry farm in years....kids liked it but I thought it was boring as hell. Talking to the hookers that lined the streets in Orange at night was a lot more enjoyable for me. I haven't seen that much black pussy since my days in Lagos.

Dollywood? That place actually exists? Fuck.....

My mother took my grandmother and myself to some "wildlife park" outside of Toronto one summer many ears ago....funniest thing I've ever seen was the look on their faces when some macaques or some such primates jump up onto the hood and beat off then fucked right in front of their eyes. I fucking rolled.....

red
04-16-2010, 09:55 PM
i think monkeys beating off at a zoo is one of those things everyone should witness in their lives.

mine happened at on of the chicago zoo's when i was in junior high. i've never seen so many people laughing so hard while trying to hide it

SkinBasket
04-16-2010, 09:57 PM
Dollywood? That place actually exists? Fuck.....

See now (or "Look" as Harlan would begin), you can't let your prejudices rule your rational thought. Unlike Disney, Dolly is nowhere to be seen, heard, or sold, unless you want to visit the gift shop on your way out. So if you have a problem with elderly ladies with gigantic tits, then you don't have to address that fear.

Otherwise, you're in an amusement park in the mountains with plenty of shade trees, a working coal train, better rides, and a lot less waiting than Disneyworld, all at a much cheaper price in admission. And like I said, the lodging isn't even close. You just have to figure out the inverse liquor laws of Gatlinburg and Pigeon Forge, which are minutes apart, and you'll be fine.

Like I said, if a tea cup is a tea cup and not an emotional trigger to you and yours, Pigeon Forge is where you want to be.

Brando19
04-16-2010, 10:05 PM
I have not been to Disney or Knott's Berry farm in years....kids liked it but I thought it was boring as hell. Talking to the hookers that lined the streets in Orange at night was a lot more enjoyable for me. I haven't seen that much black pussy since my days in Lagos.

Dollywood? That place actually exists? Fuck.....

My mother took my grandmother and myself to some "wildlife park" outside of Toronto one summer many ears ago....funniest thing I've ever seen was the look on their faces when some macaques or some such primates jump up onto the hood and beat off then fucked right in front of their eyes. I fucking rolled.....


Hahahahaha....you're fucking retarded. That's why I love you.

Freak Out
04-16-2010, 10:12 PM
Dollywood? That place actually exists? Fuck.....

See now (or "Look" as Harlan would begin), you can't let your prejudices rule your rational thought. Unlike Disney, Dolly is nowhere to be seen, heard, or sold, unless you want to visit the gift shop on your way out. So if you have a problem with elderly ladies with gigantic tits, then you don't have to address that fear.

Otherwise, you're in an amusement park in the mountains with plenty of shade trees, a working coal train, better rides, and a lot less waiting than Disneyworld, all at a much cheaper price in admission. And like I said, the lodging isn't even close. You just have to figure out the inverse liquor laws of Gatlinburg and Pigeon Forge, which are minutes apart, and you'll be fine.

Like I said, if a tea cup is a tea cup and not an emotional trigger to you and yours, Pigeon Forge is where you want to be.

I have no problem with Dolly....I appreciate her....assets. But Dollywood was always one of those mysterious places you would hear whispered about...or it's like someplace mentioned in a Simpson's episode....was it real? Well it's been confirmed by you guys. :lol:

Lots of dry counties around the park? Typical for that part of the country I guess. America has to be the only place where you can distill spirits in an area but not drink them.
My theme park days are long gone my friend....although I will go to places like cedar point for a adrenaline rush sometimes.

SkinBasket
04-17-2010, 07:32 AM
Lots of dry counties around the park? Typical for that part of the country I guess. America has to be the only place where you can distill spirits in an area but not drink them.

All I know about the booze is that one town only sells beer, and the other town only sells everything but beer. And they treat you like a fucking retard for not knowing this.

Little Whiskey
04-17-2010, 11:35 AM
went to Busch Gardens. Rides, animals and beer.

the last time i was in Bush Gardens, they even gave you free samples of beer! now that is my kind of theme park!