vince
01-21-2011, 02:55 AM
Home. Run.
http://deadspin.com/5738893/ted-thompson-owes-skippy-bayless-a-cockpunch
Packers (-3.5) 34, Bears 24: Our own longtime commenter Lt. Winslow has a foolproof strategy for beating Chicago:
Is it really possible that nobody has figured it out yet, that the way to stop Jay Cutler is to rub the ball down with sugar? Seems like basic common sense, no?
Sure does! Either way, I'm not picking against Aaron Rodgers again. If the Packers win this game, Ted Thompson should be allowed to walk around Green Bay with his dick out for at least a month, and he should be able to rub his dick on anyone wearing a Favre jersey without repercussions. Please note that Skip Bayless said this on ESPN Radio in November of 2008:
Ted Thompson's running Brett Favre out of Green Bay was the biggest mistake by a GM in the history of the league.
Shouldn't Ted be allowed one cockpunch on Bayless for that? Speaking of Favre, we need to go back to this text message from Tuesday:
you don't.know what.its.like to not be touched by a woman for three weeks
This is why people hate pro athletes. This text message was obviously unsuccessful for Favre in this instance, but it has almost certainly worked for him in the past. Both Favre and Tiger Woods have absolutely no game with women and it doesn't matter because they're pro athletes. And that is fucking ANNOYING. Normal men like you and I have to work our asses off to get laid. Under normal circumstances, getting laid is a goddamn miracle, especially if you look and sound like me. You have to say all the right things. You have to hit all the right notes. The slightest mistake during the course of the evening can end up FUCKING YOU WITH A TREE. And here comes fucking Brett Favre stumbling along, sending text messages that sound like a fucking 19th century women's novel and lack any semblance of cohesion (of course she doesn't know what it's like, she's a heterosexual woman) or proper punctuation. But no matter. LIFE IS JUST A PUSSY BUFFET FOR THE OL' SANDLOTSLINGER. These men don't appreciate getting laid the way you or I do, dammit. Fucking dicks.
Last thing: Despite the fact that he plays for my team's archrival, I can't find it in my heart to hate Aaron Rodgers. It's virtually impossible. The fact that he's not Brett Favre, and that he seems like a perfectly decent guy, and that he looks EXACTLY like BJ Novak… I just can't hate him. Even the cancer lady incident turned decisively in his favor. He needs to win multiple Super Bowls, and have Gruden and Jaworski fellate him endlessly for a few more seasons, and then I think Aaron Rodgers will gain some semblance of hateability. But for now? A delightful man. Kinda makes me hate him. THINK YOU'RE MR. MODEST, DO YOU?!
http://deadspin.com/5738893/ted-thompson-owes-skippy-bayless-a-cockpunch
Packers (-3.5) 34, Bears 24: Our own longtime commenter Lt. Winslow has a foolproof strategy for beating Chicago:
Is it really possible that nobody has figured it out yet, that the way to stop Jay Cutler is to rub the ball down with sugar? Seems like basic common sense, no?
Sure does! Either way, I'm not picking against Aaron Rodgers again. If the Packers win this game, Ted Thompson should be allowed to walk around Green Bay with his dick out for at least a month, and he should be able to rub his dick on anyone wearing a Favre jersey without repercussions. Please note that Skip Bayless said this on ESPN Radio in November of 2008:
Ted Thompson's running Brett Favre out of Green Bay was the biggest mistake by a GM in the history of the league.
Shouldn't Ted be allowed one cockpunch on Bayless for that? Speaking of Favre, we need to go back to this text message from Tuesday:
you don't.know what.its.like to not be touched by a woman for three weeks
This is why people hate pro athletes. This text message was obviously unsuccessful for Favre in this instance, but it has almost certainly worked for him in the past. Both Favre and Tiger Woods have absolutely no game with women and it doesn't matter because they're pro athletes. And that is fucking ANNOYING. Normal men like you and I have to work our asses off to get laid. Under normal circumstances, getting laid is a goddamn miracle, especially if you look and sound like me. You have to say all the right things. You have to hit all the right notes. The slightest mistake during the course of the evening can end up FUCKING YOU WITH A TREE. And here comes fucking Brett Favre stumbling along, sending text messages that sound like a fucking 19th century women's novel and lack any semblance of cohesion (of course she doesn't know what it's like, she's a heterosexual woman) or proper punctuation. But no matter. LIFE IS JUST A PUSSY BUFFET FOR THE OL' SANDLOTSLINGER. These men don't appreciate getting laid the way you or I do, dammit. Fucking dicks.
Last thing: Despite the fact that he plays for my team's archrival, I can't find it in my heart to hate Aaron Rodgers. It's virtually impossible. The fact that he's not Brett Favre, and that he seems like a perfectly decent guy, and that he looks EXACTLY like BJ Novak… I just can't hate him. Even the cancer lady incident turned decisively in his favor. He needs to win multiple Super Bowls, and have Gruden and Jaworski fellate him endlessly for a few more seasons, and then I think Aaron Rodgers will gain some semblance of hateability. But for now? A delightful man. Kinda makes me hate him. THINK YOU'RE MR. MODEST, DO YOU?!