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SkinBasket
09-19-2011, 05:11 PM
I'm still okay!
SkinBasket
09-19-2011, 05:13 PM
But the lady doctor wants me to come in to talk about the x-ray. I bet I have herpes.
Freak Out
09-19-2011, 05:18 PM
Gonorrhea of the blowhole.
Scott Campbell
09-19-2011, 05:31 PM
But the lady doctor wants me to come in to talk about the x-ray. I bet I have herpes.


Damn. I never want to get that again.
Deputy Nutz
09-20-2011, 07:39 AM
Well you still be contagious on October 6th?
SkinBasket
09-20-2011, 11:06 AM
I'm mostly functional now unless some asshole does something totally uncalled for... like, I don't know... karate chops me in the gut while I'm looking the other way. I have some left over muscle relaxers if you might need those to get out of one of your intimate nights with your wife.

They couldn't schedule me to see the doctor until tomorrow, so I'm going to assume I'm not dying, or maybe I am and they just aren't that concerned about it, which is totally understandable.
SkinBasket
09-20-2011, 03:17 PM
On a related note, my mother is undergoing surgery for a broken arm caused by roundhouse horse kick, so she won't be up for phone sex for a while. At least like 20-30 hours.
Deputy Nutz
09-21-2011, 10:27 AM
^ after all these years fucking horses you would think she would know better
Deputy Nutz
09-21-2011, 10:28 AM
Your dad just threw her down the steps
SkinBasket
09-21-2011, 10:44 AM
Your dad just threw her down the steps

He claims he was golfing.

The doctors were concerned about infection because the little arm bone is the one that broke, and it almost came through the skin. Problem is, my mother is like a dog, and she tends to ignore pain when she's busy. So she finished feeding the horses, took a shower, changed, stopped at an estate sale, then went to the hospital, so there was a couple hours where the inside of the bone was exposed to possible contamination.

It's like when she got kicked in the head a couple years ago. She just pulled her knit cap on tighter until she was finished at the barn then went up to the house and took it off, letting all the blood spill out. But she was concussed, so she probably wasn't thinking clearly then.
SkinBasket
09-21-2011, 02:14 PM
Bah. The doctor only confirmed what I already knew, that my bottom vertebra is kind of fused to my ass bone. I bet it's from the Southern Comfort my mom drank while I was busy trying to become a real life.

Move your hips more my wife says. I can't, says I, and now I have a medical excuse. Fucking yoga.

But now they're going to test my blood to see if I have bugs in me. She also wants someone to "scope" my bladder to see why I have a couple blood cells coming out my pee hose. I don't think I like lady doctors. Always trying to stick things in you. It's not like my cock is bleeding.
Deputy Nutz
09-21-2011, 02:35 PM
It is like you are a turtle
Freak Out
09-21-2011, 02:45 PM
You still MMA fighting? Smoker or chewer in the past? Could be a bladder cancer of some type.
Deputy Nutz
09-21-2011, 03:17 PM
Hey Freakout thanks for the good possiblities. Hey I have some chest pains with shooting pain in my left arm. I am ok, right?
Upnorth
09-21-2011, 03:39 PM
Hey Freakout thanks for the good possiblities. Hey I have some chest pains with shooting pain in my left arm. I am ok, right?

Probably Herpes. That or take your finger out of the electical socket.
Freak Out
09-21-2011, 04:52 PM
Hey Freakout thanks for the good possiblities. Hey I have some chest pains with shooting pain in my left arm. I am ok, right?

Heart attack plus carpal tunnel from beating off so frequently with very poor technique.
SkinBasket
09-21-2011, 05:19 PM
You still MMA fighting? Smoker or chewer in the past? Could be a bladder cancer of some type.

I've had blood in my urine for near a decade. If it was cancer I would be dead by now.
SkinBasket
10-18-2011, 10:47 AM
Great news!

I've got hand foot and mouth virus! Probably from that stripper. It's most commonly caused by Coxsackievirus A16. Cock. Sack. E. Virus. Awesome!
Upnorth
10-18-2011, 10:50 AM
Guess we should put you out of your misery then. It is the only humane thing to do.
Deputy Nutz
10-18-2011, 12:32 PM
Time to decontaminate my sofa
MadtownPacker
10-18-2011, 01:02 PM
Guess we should put you out of your misery then. It is the only humane thing to do.

http://www.aasv.org/aasv/documents/euthanasia.gif
SkinBasket
10-18-2011, 02:39 PM
Time to decontaminate my sofa

Ah, it's just some stinging puss filled bumps on your hands, feet, and tongue. That's nothing compared to what I did to your sofa.