My balls

[HowardRoark]

Got em snipped this morning; how long can I expect bloody underwear? Anything else I should know about?

[SkinBasket]

Give me the deets! I'm about to schedule my balls.

[sheepshead]

bag of peas and sympathetic wife/girlfriend. She'll want to check out the scar too. Then it's business as usual.

[MJZiggy]

And you thought frozen veggies were just for dinner! You'll be fine in a day or two.

[Deputy Nutz]

Just don't do anything stupid like play basketball for the next three days. Take it easy is the best advice lower the activity level to a minimum

[MadtownPacker]

Got em snipped this morning; how long can I expect bloody underwear? Anything else I should know about?
Did you get an upgrade while you where there?

[hoosier]

Watch and learn over the next two weeks as your sack turns lovely shades of bright red, blue, purple, violet and indigo before going black.

[hoosier]

Aren't you a runner, Howie? If so, you really are supposed to stay away from any vigorous exercise for at least a week. I knew I wouldn't be capable of that, and when I asked the uro what would happen if I ran sooner, he painted me an especially graphic picture of what elephantitis of the testicles looks like. It didn't sway me, but I bet you could find some vivid images online if you are curious.

[Upnorth]

I am sorry for your loss. Don't forget to have one for the homies.

[Deputy Nutz]

Watch and learn over the next two weeks as your sack turns lovely shades of bright red, blue, purple, violet and indigo before going black.

What kind of backdoor doc did you go to?

[Harlan Huckleby]

hope you have some kids. terrible loss to humanity to totally lose you from the gene pool

[Freak Out]

I never had to get cut...the wife got "fixed" during the birth of our last child.

[HowardRoark]

Give me the deets! I'm about to schedule my balls.

Pretty much like going to the dentist; numb them up and go to work. They can give you Valium if you want, but I didn't have anyone to drive me home so I didn't. The worst part is sticking the needle in the sack. On the second one it hurt like a son of a bitch and my right hand rose involuntarily to rescue my right ball. The Doc just stood there and eventually said in a tone, “please put your hand down.” I got the feeling he may have had some kind of physical history with a patient in the past.

We listened to KFAN during the procedure, and they were discussing how many first round picks the Vikings could get for Jared Allen, so at least there was some comedy as a distraction

I painted a bedroom tonight and really don't feel much discomfort at all........

[HowardRoark]

Aren't you a runner, Howie? If so, you really are supposed to stay away from any vigorous exercise for at least a week. I knew I wouldn't be capable of that, and when I asked the uro what would happen if I ran sooner, he painted me an especially graphic picture of what elephantitis of the testicles looks like. It didn't sway me, but I bet you could find some vivid images online if you are curious.

Thanks....how long did you wait?

[mraynrand]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YUuyzQDmjY

[HarveyWallbangers]

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I got snipped a few months ago. I was knocked out, so I didn't feel anything. The pain wasn't bad at all and went away in a couple of days. All in all, the procedure was very minor for me. My friend, on the other hand, got numbed up. It wore off in the middle of the procedure, so he could feel all that was going on. It was a nightmare for him.

[hoosier]

Thanks....how long did you wait?

Two days, maybe three. The first couple of days it's pretty tender, but once that went away I figured wtf. If you have an old jock strap or some tighty whiteys lying around, those might help minimize the jostling. And remember, if you notice your sack expanding to like ten times its normal size, seek medical attention :-)

[HowardRoark]

I never had to get cut...the wife got "fixed" during the birth of our last child.

No more wife; she was like really bummed when I told her the meaning of the word fidelity (she thought it was like that new super hot character on Twilight).

I am not married anymore, ergo the snipping.

[Upnorth]

No more wife; she was like really bummed when I told her the meaning of the word fidelity (she thought it was like that new super hot character on Twilight).

I am not married anymore, ergo the snipping.

Sorry to hear that, that sucks man.

[mraynrand]

No more wife; she was like really bummed when I told her the meaning of the word fidelity (she thought it was like that new super hot character on Twilight).

I am not married anymore, ergo the snipping.

ouch. Double ouch. Sorry to hear about that. You've got young kids, right? Best wishes, I hope you get that all figured out.

[HowardRoark]

ouch. Double ouch. Sorry to hear about that. You've got young kids, right? Best wishes, I hope you get that all figured out.

Thanks…..it’s been a rough few years. I thought all the clichés wouldn’t apply to me, but they really do (I guess that’s why they are clichés); kids are resilient, you will be better off, keep your dick in your pants, blah, blah, blah…..

They are 6 and 8 and it is amazing the depth of what they understand; they are with me most of the time and doing well.

[Zool]

Thanks…..it’s been a rough few years. I thought all the clichés wouldn’t apply to me, but they really do (I guess that’s why they are clichés); kids are resilient, you will be better off, keep your dick in your pants, blah, blah, blah…..

They are 6 and 8 and it is amazing the depth of what they understand; they are with me most of the time and doing well.

We are paddling the same boat Howie. I could have written the scenario and you would have nodded along like I just did. Read a study that said women are just as likely if not more likely to cheat, they are just better at hiding it.

I only have 1 luckily. They really are tough. I'm amazed sometimes just how much so.

[HowardRoark]

We are paddling the same boat Howie. I could have written the scenario and you would have nodded along like I just did. Read a study that said women are just as likely if not more likely to cheat, they are just better at hiding it.

I only have 1 luckily. They really are tough. I'm amazed sometimes just how much so.

Sorry to hear about that, I would offer a cliché, but that won’t do any good.

But as you face your Waterloo, don’t just lie there like a beached whale, try to laugh till you cry and don’t listen to the people who say there are two sides to every story; you will be busier than a one-armed paper hanger once you have two homes and always remember that no good deed goes unpunished.

And irregardeless of everything; the sun will always rise tomorrow.

[mraynrand]

I find it disturbing that the "My Balls" and the "More Hamburger Helper" threads are so close in proximity.

[Zool]

Sorry to hear about that, I would offer a cliché, but that won’t do any good.

But as you face your Waterloo, don’t just lie there like a beached whale, try to laugh till you cry and don’t listen to the people who say there are two sides to every story; you will be busier than a one-armed paper hanger once you have two homes and always remember that no good deed goes unpunished.

And irregardeless of everything; the sun will always rise tomorrow.

Took me a while, but I figured that out too. Been a couple years since it happened to me. Got past it with some help from liquor and loose women.

[SkinBasket]

You guys remember that guy that was getting a divorce and getting absolutely hammered and posting on here at night? That guy was easy to like.

[HowardRoark]

You guys remember that guy that was getting a divorce and getting absolutely hammered and posting on here at night? That guy was easy to like.

http://i.a.cnn.net/si/2007/magazine/specials/sportsman/2007/12/03/sportsman.2007/p1_favre1.jpg

[mraynrand]

:lol:

[mraynrand]

You guys remember that guy that was getting a divorce and getting absolutely hammered and posting on here at night? That guy was easy to like.


Was that 4 to 12 12 to 4 or something like that? I think he got a labrador and never came back. Or he drank himself to death

[HowardRoark]

Was that 4 to 12 12 to 4 or something like that? I think he got a labrador and never came back. Or he drank himself to death

http://packerrats.com/showthread.php?9358-I-m-getting-a-divorce&highlight=

[Freak Out]

I got the PM Howie....I'm bad at checking it and had pop ups disabled.

[MJZiggy]

Damn, two divorce threads in a row. Sorry to hear, Howie. Too bad you're not in DC. We could drink about it. (though no drinking yourself to death, please)

[MadtownPacker]

So this thread is about Howard divorcing?

Thought it was just about his balls getting snipped not removed.

[HowardRoark]

So this thread is about Howard divorcing?

Thought it was just about his balls getting snipped not removed.

It's all a matter of interpretation.

http://www.geardiary.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/9FB20B76-53A6-4C82-9099-B39ECFF98E89.jpg

[hoosier]

The two are closely related. The irony of it all is, some day Howie is going to get remarried and his new wife is going to insist that he get his V reversed (like this: ^). My question is going to be, is the reversal worse than the snip?

[Little Whiskey]

didn't that happen to Micheal Scott on "The Office"?

[Deputy Nutz]

http://i.a.cnn.net/si/2007/magazine/specials/sportsman/2007/12/03/sportsman.2007/p1_favre1.jpg

I am not one to bash Favre, but this shot does make him out to be a bit of a pervert. Trenchcoat and all

[Deputy Nutz]

Howard it blows that you have kids with this woman who is having sex on her office copy machine. Like I always say, "If you have kids, you are not just cheating on your spouse." Well it doesn't suck that you have children. Kids are great, I think you know what I mean.

I find it very respectful that you didn't kill the bitch.

[MadtownPacker]

It's all a matter of interpretation.

http://www.geardiary.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/9FB20B76-53A6-4C82-9099-B39ECFF98E89.jpg
I see some mfer trying to choke me.

[Zool]

didn't that happen to Micheal Scott on "The Office"?

"Snip snap snip snap snip snap. You have no idea the toll that 3 vasectomies has on a body."

[mraynrand]

I see some mfer trying to choke me.

Probably the Skinbasket


http://i453.photobucket.com/albums/qq254/mraynrand/creepyjackson.jpg

[MJZiggy]

I see some mfer trying to choke me.

Really, I see the alien that's always in the invasion movies. At least the top half of the alien...

[MadtownPacker]

Really, I see the alien that's always in the invasion movies. At least the top half of the alien...
Is he trying to probe you?

[HowardRoark]

I see Clay Matthews doing that sack dance thingy; with an alien in his stomach.

[MJZiggy]

Is he trying to probe you?

No, that would only happen in your dirty mind.

[woodbuck27]

Got em snipped this morning; how long can I expect bloody underwear? Anything else I should know about?

By now you'll be lookin' to get back into the saddle again. Hope the first two days didn't cause you much financial strife purchasing Extra Strength Tylanol.

[woodbuck27]

I find it disturbing that the "My Balls" and the "More Hamburger Helper" threads are so close in proximity.

Frick !! That post is hilarious. I nearly busted a gut laughing. Hahahahahahahaha .... Great post 'M'.

[woodbuck27]

So this thread is about Howard divorcing?

Thought it was just about his balls getting snipped not removed.

X 2 Mad. How many of us here have traveled down that lonesome highway !?

[mraynrand]

Great moments in divorce history: Howard Beal signs off what he thinks is his final nightly national newscast:

"And I was married for 33 years of shrill, shrieking fraud. So I don't have any bullshit left. I just ran out of it, you see."

http://iamatvjunkie.typepad.com/.a/6a00d83451c17f69e20120a546c67a970b-800wi

[GrnBay007]

Sorry to hear that Howard. My kids were about the same age when I got mine. Keep your head on straight and keep your kids close to you....it will all work out.

[SkinBasket]

Jesus, looks like nutz and I are the model of marital success around here. Let here who else is still with their first family before I become so depressed I leave mine.

[Iron Mike]

http://www.minddisorders.com/images/gemd_02_img0090.jpg

I see a frog that ate a butterfly.....

[Deputy Nutz]

Jesus, looks like nutz and I are the model of marital success around here. Let here who else is still with their first family before I become so depressed I leave mine.

That is a a lot to digest

[HowardRoark]

Sorry to hear that Howard. My kids were about the same age when I got mine. Keep your head on straight and keep your kids close to you....it will all work out.

Thanks, that’s my plan. It has always sounded as though you are doing well with your situation. You could teach my ex about how to be involved in a kid’s life though; I often get the “they didn’t want to go to practice tonight, so I didn’t make them” bullshit.

The kids want to go, it’s just too tough to break away from whatever is going on in her life to get them there….drives me nuts.

[mraynrand]

Thanks, that’s my plan. It has always sounded as though you are doing well with your situation. You could teach my ex about how to be involved in a kid’s life though; I often get the “they didn’t want to go to practice tonight, so I didn’t make them” bullshit.

The kids want to go, it’s just too tough to break away from whatever is going on in her life to get them there….drives me nuts.

You're the one who signed 'em up for the kazoo lessons in the first place. You have no one to blame but yourself.

[mraynrand]

Jesus, looks like nutz and I are the model of marital success around here. Let here who else is still with their first family before I become so depressed I leave mine.

Still married here - two kids, 18 and 16

[mraynrand]

Is he trying to probe you?


http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lmazdsPFvn1qchzcgo1_500.png

[pbmax]

Jesus, looks like nutz and I are the model of marital success around here. Let here who else is still with their first family before I become so depressed I leave mine.

Well this should teach me not to visit RR when the tease last post listed "My Balls..." as the latest topic. I should have known better.

Count me as Poster #4 still married to original. Other than never being able to balance the joint checking account, no regrets :)

Jury is still out on the kids because the oldest is trying to drive me nuts before they can drive. I think they want my car.

[pbmax]

All Rorschach tests are Jeff Goldblum in The Fly.

[GrnBay007]

Thanks, that’s my plan. It has always sounded as though you are doing well with your situation. You could teach my ex about how to be involved in a kid’s life though; I often get the “they didn’t want to go to practice tonight, so I didn’t make them” bullshit.

The kids want to go, it’s just too tough to break away from whatever is going on in her life to get them there….drives me nuts.

Yeah, I went through that early on.....dad complaining about all the running for sports stuff, more so with my son because he's always played 3-4 sports from little on. (sad for a dad to do that IMO....but anyway...) It was easier to just take him out of the equation with respect to that stuff. I was (am) pretty lucky with my job and can dictate my schedule in order to do all that running....granted I work a lot of weekends to make up hours, but it's worth it to me. I don't know, I've just always thought if you have kids you better be willing to give up at least 18 years focusing, whether it be by yourself or as a couple, on them to give them a good start in life. And back when they were 5-7 and first getting involved in sports they were told you can join anything you want but just know you won't quit anything you join...you'll stick it out and if you hate it, next year you will know better. Just always thought that would set the tone for commitment and not quitting on anything.

There's no doubt divorce sucks.....but just so you know some good CAN come out of it. I just really don't think I would have the relationship I do with my kids if I was still married to their dad. It's a tough job walking that tightrope between parent/friend with your kids but so far I've been able to keep the balance. (I know someone is watching over me :) ) I'm sure they dislike me at times but they still talk to me about things that I was never able to talk to my parents about.

[GrnBay007]

Jury is still out on the kids because the oldest is trying to drive me nuts before they can drive. I think they want my car.

OMGosh.....the "CAR" pressure!!!!! My daughter drove me nutts while I looked for a car for her!!!!!! I never knew she had it in her to be that way....lol Finally got one a few weeks ago and all is well in the world again!

[Scott Campbell]

Jesus, looks like nutz and I are the model of marital success around here. Let here who else is still with their first family before I become so depressed I leave mine.



All my wives were present and accounted for this morning.

[HowardRoark]

All my wives were present and accounted for this morning.

http://blogs.laweekly.com/informer/2008/10/27/Cult1_682_423092a.jpg

[Deputy Nutz]

The middle left ain't that bad.

[Zool]

Those is some handsome women-folk.

[mraynrand]

Those is some handsome women-folk.

They have the kind of hips that can birth 10-15 kids easy - two at a time if necessary.

[Harlan Huckleby]

I'd do every one of them. I'd need a week, though, a couple of them would require some preparation.

[woodbuck27]

Still married here - two kids, 18 and 16

Congratulations Skinbasket, Deputy Nutz and mraynrand. I was just talking to a close buddy fr. back east tonight about marriage and re-mariage. He's never married and would enjoy meeting the right one to do that. He's a fella I met when I did my BEd @ UNB Fredericton Campus (1988). Ron tells me that the success rate fr first times (marriage ) runs about 50%. Thyat's easier then getting a University Degree where 2 out of 3 ( or 67% fail). Now you'd think that second times would have it down a tad better.NOPE! ccording to Ron's findings Second timers fail depended on the study 60-70% of the time. Ohh WOW!

Three timers or 'the perpetual losers' but really; let's give them a GOLD STAR for 'Given Err Optimism'. They fail about 85% of the time. Now that was Ron's findings talking to various members of the clergy. Anyone that can refute that will give me solid hope that the general poplation isn't that dumb.

Please don't make that worse.

Ron says that too many people especially first time losers at marriage don't really have a clue what's involved when members of the opposite sex get involved in alot more than cuddling up on the coach with popcorn and a decent movie. Relations are challenging unless two people get together with real compatibility, chemistry, intelligence ,some widom (smarts) and a whole wheel barrel full of decency and respect.

How many characteristics do they have to share that I missed? Marriage today is certainly tricky.

CONGRTULATIONS to all of you who were married and came out of the seperation to divorce and you can still smile most days. Still enjoy the most simple things in life and love or still yearn for LOVE. Next time your on a picnik with a loved one . Give yourself a pat on the back.

[woodbuck27]

http://blogs.laweekly.com/informer/2008/10/27/Cult1_682_423092a.jpg

Who's that skinny fella in the middle? Are the ladies listening to Elvis sing 'LOVE ME TENDER'?

[woodbuck27]

OMGosh.....the "CAR" pressure!!!!! My daughter drove me nutts while I looked for a car for her!!!!!! I never knew she had it in her to be that way....lol Finally got one a few weeks ago and all is well in the world again!

007. Your a REAL BEAUTY.

[SkinBasket]

http://www.theurologygroup.cc/images/doctors/34.jpg

I'm putting my balls in this man's hands. He seems nice enough.

[Deputy Nutz]

That man sort of looks like you. I mean if you cut his hair off and age yourself 5 years or so.

[mraynrand]

That man sort of looks like you. I mean if you cut his hair off and age yourself 5 years or so.

That's more like Harlan, I think.

[hoosier]

http://www.theurologygroup.cc/images/doctors/34.jpg

I'm putting my balls in this man's hands. He seems nice enough.

Looks like an ambulance chaser. Hey, maybe he does double duty, making profits off his own f*** ups.

[SkinBasket]

Looks like an ambulance chaser. Hey, maybe he does double duty, making profits off his own f*** ups.

You really are a judgmental fella aren't you? Or is it just when a Jew is involved?

[hoosier]

How are your nads feeling these days, Howie?

[hoosier]

You really are a judgmental fella aren't you? Or is it just when a Jew is involved?

You just wish you had thought of that first.

[HowardRoark]

How are your nads feeling these days, Howie?

7 days, most bruising gone, stitches still a little sore.....other than that, it seems like all systems go.

[MJZiggy]

7 days, most bruising gone, stitches still a little sore.....other than that, it seems like all systems go.
Remember to clean out the pipes before you depend on them for anything...

[HowardRoark]

Remember to clean out the pipes before you depend on them for anything...

16 times; they give you 3 months to do it......I suppose a lot of married guys do this, so that makes sense.

[sheepshead]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0-QKC-9UIo

[sheepshead]

The Vasectomy song about 2:00 in is nice:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qpfpt8a5B8Q&feature=related

[woodbuck27]

Your FACT for the day from Ole woodbuck27..and that's my pleasure:

Vasectomy should not be confused with castration, which is ** the surgical removal of the testicle(s). ** That procedure is followed by a voice change that may arguably qualify you for ' the Vienna Boys Choir ':

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0purlSxoKGU

[SkinBasket]

16 times; they give you 3 months to do it......I suppose a lot of married guys do this, so that makes sense.

That's like 5-6 days. Maybe 4 if the wife's out of town.

[mraynrand]

16 times; they give you 3 months to do it......I suppose a lot of married guys do this, so that makes sense.

More like 8 years

[woodbuck27]

I never had to get cut...the wife got "fixed" during the birth of our last child.

Horraahhh ! FOR Chauvenism.

[MadtownPacker]

7 days, most bruising gone, stitches still a little sore.....other than that, it seems like all systems go.

Did they shave your sack for the surgery?

[Zool]

Did they shave your sack for the surgery?

Finally a legitimate question and it goes unanswered. Do they shave you? Do you get to pick the person shaving?

[hoosier]

You shave your own sack. They provide one of those dry razors so you don't have to suffer the burning indignity of covering your scrotum in shaving cream.

[HowardRoark]

Sack must be shaved.

[Harlan Huckleby]

Did they shave your sack for the surgery?

Its an extra $20

[hoosier]

Loose lips sink ships.
Shaved sack, no sweat.

[Scott Campbell]

You shave your own sack. They provide one of those dry razors so you don't have to suffer the burning indignity of covering your scrotum in shaving cream.


Damn. Hold the Aqua Vulva.

[GrnBay007]

bet that's itchy when it grows back.

[SkinBasket]

5 days until that little guy plays with my balls.

[Freak Out]

Why wait? I'm sure you can find some little guy to play with em now.

[SkinBasket]

Harlan's an 8 hour drive away.

[HowardRoark]

5 days until that little guy plays with my balls.

Jim Beam on the Cheerios today?

[SkinBasket]

de-balling isn't til 5:30, so I'll just drink afterward.

[mraynrand]

Good luck!

http://familyfun.go.com/assets/cms/recipes/spaghetti-meatballs-recipe-photo-420-FF0307ITALA01.jpg

[Freak Out]

Don't fucking do it.....Aryan women want your seed.

[mraynrand]

Don't fucking do it.....Aryan women want your seed.

http://www.storytimecrafts.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/Johnny-Appleseed.jpg

[Zool]

When do they before and after pictures get posted?

[SkinBasket]

Ouch. Three hours before the pain starts my ass.

Now my mansack is all stiff and swollen and misshapen. Unacceptable.

[Zool]

Pics or STFU

[SkinBasket]

I make pictures with my words, so eat my schlong.

The doctor told me I did an excellent job shaving my balls. I almost got a boner from such compliments.

[Harlan Huckleby]

"Balls, balls!", cried the queen, "If I had two I'd be the king"

[mraynrand]

"Balls, balls!", cried the queen, "If I had two I'd be the king"

Hillary?

[HowardRoark]

I make pictures with my words, so eat my schlong.

The doctor told me I did an excellent job shaving my balls. I almost got a boner from such compliments.

Mine told me the same thing.....I think they say that to everyone; like when someone says, "that's a good question!"

[Zool]

"Balls, balls!", cried the queen, "If I had two I'd be the king"

I thought most queens were pre-op?

[mraynrand]

Mine told me the same thing.....I think they say that to everyone; like when someone says, "that's a good question!"

Good Point!

[Upnorth]

Good Point!

Interesting.

[hoosier]

Mine told me the same thing.....I think they say that to everyone; like when someone says, "that's a good question!"


Good Point!


Interesting.

Any other questions?

[hoosier]

Dang, now I am stuck with a mental image of Skinbasket's urologist, who--I am guessing here--just happens to be a spitting image of Tony Larussa, looking him over and remarking nonchalantly, "Your scrotum is so smooth." Never should have opened this thread. Never leave the boat.

http://img214.imageshack.us/img214/4213/larussa2.jpg

[SkinBasket]

Mine told me the same thing.....I think they say that to everyone; like when someone says, "that's a good question!"

Way to ruin my moment you hag.

[mraynrand]

Interesting.


Good Point!


Mine told me the same thing.....I think they say that to everyone; like when someone says, "that's a good question!"


Any other questions?

Fascinating.

[MJZiggy]

Hillary? She has more than two balls under her control...:)

[Freak Out]

As of this moment my balls are intact....and slightly moist to the touch.

[SkinBasket]

I never thought I would melt so much ice against my balls and enjoy it so much. Apparently Tylenol 4 doesn't work for dick and percocet makes me sleepy and nauseous. Any home remedies out there? What's this about moist balls?

Also how long can I expect this pain at the upper end of the vas deferns to last?

[HowardRoark]

Apparently Tylenol 4 doesn't work for dick ......

Wrong drug, wrong part.

[MJZiggy]

I never thought I would melt so much ice against my balls and enjoy it so much. Apparently Tylenol 4 doesn't work for dick and percocet makes me sleepy and nauseous. Any home remedies out there? What's this about moist balls?

Also how long can I expect this pain at the upper end of the vas deferns to last?

I wonder if lidocaine would have any effect at all...but that would just be for the stitches.

[GrnBay007]

Any home remedies out there?

Hmmm.......Cocaine? LOL









N/M....just a story I heard once........

[Freak Out]

Rub an aspirin on it and get back to work you pussy.

[hoosier]

I never thought I would melt so much ice against my balls and enjoy it so much. Apparently Tylenol 4 doesn't work for dick and percocet makes me sleepy and nauseous. Any home remedies out there? What's this about moist balls?

Also how long can I expect this pain at the upper end of the vas deferns to last?

Home remedy: If you've given up on the frozen peas, a nice single malt has a way of taking the edge off. If that is not an option, try cheap wine. Or you could always bang your head against the wall, that would at least cause your cerebral cortex to focus on something else for a while.

How long: Possibly until you shoot your wad, but you're supposed to wait at least a week before doing that, otherwise you are at risk of hemorraging or building up pressure in the vas and causing a blowout inside the scroat. Then you won't just be in pain, you will be sorry. I hear tell that some men have that vas pain for a long time after the V, especially during sex. Sucks to be them.

[Freak Out]

See....that's why you should never have done it. :)

[MadtownPacker]

See....that's why you should never have done it. :)
Exactly. The SB is a fucking looney.

Why he fuck would you do this shit to yourself for? After all the porn moneyshots you have watched your telling us you dont know when to pull out???

[Scott Campbell]

Exactly. The SB is a fucking looney.

Why he fuck would you do this shit to yourself for?


So Nutz can get off the pill?

[Harlan Huckleby]

that's pretty fucking funny, campbell

[SkinBasket]

that's pretty fucking funny, campbell

So you hate homos. You disgust me.

[SkinBasket]

Exactly. The SB is a fucking looney.

Why he fuck would you do this shit to yourself for? After all the porn moneyshots you have watched your telling us you dont know when to pull out???

Because not having to worry about birth control is worth a few days of walking around like Madtown after one of his dates.

[Zool]

So you hate homos. You disgust me.

I believe they were calling Nutz a woman. Homos don't need the pill.

[mraynrand]

Because not having to worry about birth control is worth a few days of walking around like Madtown after one of his dates.

I can tell you from personal experience that 'abstinence only' works.

[SkinBasket]

I believe they were calling Nutz a woman. Homos don't need the pill.

Urban myth.

[mraynrand]

I believe they were calling Nutz a woman. Homos don't need the pill.


Urban myth.

Exactly. Where do you think lawyers come from?

[MadtownPacker]

Because not having to worry about birth control is worth a few days of walking around like Madtown after one of his dates.

This is the problem with you dumb gabachos. You cut your fucking balls open just so your women don't have to drink a pill?? Fuck that!! I will just get a new one if it comes down to that shit.

Besides what if you are chosen to repopulate the planet after the apocalypse?

[Freak Out]

This is the problem with you dumb gabachos. You cut your fucking balls open just so your women don't have to drink a pill?? Fuck that!! I will just get a new one if it comes down to that shit.

Besides what if you are chosen to repopulate the planet after the apocalypse?

Ok.....I'm glad he did it now. :)

[mraynrand]

This is the problem with you dumb gabachos. You cut your fucking balls open just so your women don't have to drink a pill?? Fuck that!! I will just get a new one if it comes down to that shit.

Besides what if you are chosen to repopulate the planet after the apocalypse?


Ok.....I'm glad he did it now. :)


Agreed. If the apocalypse does arrive, I'd put my hopes in Musky Queen and Jermichael to do the repopulating.

[HowardRoark]

Agreed. If the apocalypse does arrive, I'd put my hopes in Musky Queen and Jermichael to do the repopulating.

Let's leave that job to Cain.

[Harlan Huckleby]

the hermanator is ultimate spermanator

I LOVE that guy, and I'm being sincere. Wish all pols were so lively and personable.

[swede]

the hermanator is ultimate spermanator

I LOVE that guy, and I'm being sincere. Wish all pols were so lively and personable.

Where was your support during the Anthony Weiner Watch? He could have used the back up.

[Harlan Huckleby]

Where was your support during the Anthony Weiner Watch? He could have used the back up.

hey, i liked him too. i see a pattern forming....

[HowardRoark]

Urban myth.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5TEmJCPTgw&feature=player_embedded

[mraynrand]

Let's leave that job to Cain.

I did not have sexual relations with that woman!
http://parkwayreststop.blogspot.com/Clinton%20Lip.jpg
I did not behave inappropriately with eenyone!
http://mybrownbaby.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Herman-Cain.jpg

Guilt through association of lip pursing! Get the body language people. Indict! Indict!

[MJZiggy]

This is the problem with you dumb gabachos. You cut your fucking balls open just so your women don't have to drink a pill?? Fuck that!! I will just get a new one if it comes down to that shit.

Besides what if you are chosen to repopulate the planet after the apocalypse?

Before you think it's that simple, read the risks and warning label on a pack of those pills.

[SkinBasket]

Tried to do too much yesterday. Giant deep purple bruise on the sack today.

[MJZiggy]

This is your perfect excuse to milk a few days of doing nothing for the sacrifice you made to the greater good and you go and do too much...

[SkinBasket]

This is your perfect excuse to milk a few days of doing nothing for the sacrifice you made to the greater good and you go and do too much...

I already milked those days. I got til Monday to be limber again.

[SkinBasket]

So it's not a bruise, it's a scrotal hematoma. Now I got three balls, one of them is a blood sac. This is horseshit.

[hoosier]

I told you. Or rather, I warned Howie. Shoulda listened to your urologist. Those blood vessels down there are hard to shut off once they start bleeding. And be thankful if your scrotum doesn't reach the size of a canteloupe.

[swede]

So it's not a bruise, it's a scrotal hematoma. Now I got three balls, one of them is a blood sac. This is horseshit.

Hey Skin!

I made a poem for you! I’m having a hard time completing it though.



Having done Darwin his due, reproducing one then two
It was time to be realistic, face the stark statistic
I’d met the quota deucy, no more should reproducy

Told the lady that I loved her, wanted that much more of her
But the semen that went in her should no longer hold a winner
As this conclusion hadn’t shocked her, it was time to call the doctor

The physician started tripping when told he could get snipping
Experminating futures with a snip and microsutures
With a minimum of peril that quack had made me sterile

Post-surgical procedure was pain and days of leisure
Once I’d fully rested no further bad expected
And then I caught the faint aroma of a scrotal hematoma

This bloody complication was a painful compilation
Of discolored manly tissue and it brought to mind the issue
That this procedure would really suck if I could no longer…

Dang it! I can’t think of a good concluding word

[SkinBasket]

I told you. Or rather, I warned Howie. Shoulda listened to your urologist. Those blood vessels down there are hard to shut off once they start bleeding. And be thankful if your scrotum doesn't reach the size of a canteloupe.

It seems to be limited to about the size of a testicle, being isolated above the actual ball. Unfortunately, that's putting a lot of pressure on both the ball and the upper bits and creating a good deal of pain. I suppose I'll have to visit the little jew again and have him press here and grab there and declare that I'm just in for a few weeks of mansack pain.

Swede, you are a beautiful man.

[GrnBay007]

Only at PackerRats a thread about balls goes 8 pages!

[Joemailman]

Only at PackerRats a thread about balls goes 8 pages!

What's a nice girl like you doing in a thread like this?

[Freak Out]

It seems to be limited to about the size of a testicle, being isolated above the actual ball. Unfortunately, that's putting a lot of pressure on both the ball and the upper bits and creating a good deal of pain. I suppose I'll have to visit the little jew again and have him press here and grab there and declare that I'm just in for a few weeks of mansack pain.

Swede, you are a beautiful man.

Were the fuck is Theodoric of York, Medieval Barber when you need a mansack drained?

[Joemailman]

Were the fuck is Theodoric of York, Medieval Barber when you need a mansack drained?

Which one is Skin and which one is Nutz?

http://chud.com/nextraimages/mar12snl3.JPG

[Scott Campbell]

Only at PackerRats a thread about balls goes 8 pages!


At least it's 8 pages and not 8 balls. 3 balls sounds bad enough.

[Deputy Nutz]

So it's not a bruise, it's a scrotal hematoma. Now I got three balls, one of them is a blood sac. This is horseshit.

Suprise suprise you managed to fuck up this surgery.

[SkinBasket]

Suprise suprise you managed to fuck up this surgery.

I did exactly as I was directed. The doctor who felt me up today told me he's never had one happen to him. What a dick. Then he tried to google the drug he was giving me and failed.

But the nurse, who was fairly attractive as far as nurses go, did put her crotch on my hand while taking my blood pressure. Now if I were Partial, I would have grabbed her honeypot right there in front of the kids, but I decided to show some restraint. Overall, it was a wash.

[Deputy Nutz]

How many times have you heard the doctor say, "I have never had this happen before?"

[SkinBasket]

How many times have you heard the doctor say, "I have never had this happen before?"

To be fair, the first one said I was the most extreme case he had seen, not the only.

I'll have a deformed scrotum for at least 2 months now. Maybe 4 if I'm lucky.

[HowardRoark]

To be fair, the first one said I was the most extreme case he had seen, not the only.

I'll have a deformed scrotum for at least 2 months now. Maybe 4 if I'm lucky.

Maybe you can make it last until State Fair time next year and finally bring in an income for that family of your's. The youngsters around here could finally look you in the eye.

[GrnBay007]

Nobody commented about the itching after the shaving.

[SkinBasket]

Good news! The hematoma has enveloped my left testicle, so it's no longer trying to push it out of my scrotum, but the entire left side of my sack is a solid mass shaped like my nut cup now and the extra pressure on those nerves is not relenting. And then my wife starts bitching at me about cleaning the house up before her fucking sister gets here. Like I give a fuck what her sister thinks, especially enough to murder my balls over it every time I have to bend over or go up the stairs.

[swede]

Skin, if we'd have thought this through we would have made another photodocumentary similar to the bathroom renovation thread. It's killing me not to be able to load an image and then look away in horror and disgust. Or you could load an image of your sister-in-law looking away in horror and disgust.

[Deputy Nutz]

To be fair, the first one said I was the most extreme case he had seen, not the only.

I'll have a deformed scrotum for at least 2 months now. Maybe 4 if I'm lucky.

Been there.

[Scott Campbell]

Nobody commented about the itching after the shaving.


Why - is it bad?

[HowardRoark]

Good news! The hematoma has enveloped my left testicle, so it's no longer trying to push it out of my scrotum, but the entire left side of my sack is a solid mass shaped like my nut cup now and the extra pressure on those nerves is not relenting. And then my wife starts bitching at me about cleaning the house up before her fucking sister gets here. Like I give a fuck what her sister thinks, especially enough to murder my balls over it every time I have to bend over or go up the stairs.

We should really see if the AMA would like to use this thread on their website. It is a very good educational piece on snipping.

Mine could not have been more different than Skin’s; I am a sperm free, well shorn man without a wife bitching at me or a sister in law to worry about…..and my house is clean.

I had zero complications.

[SkinBasket]

I had zero complications.

I am the 5%.

[SkinBasket]

Skin, if we'd have thought this through we would have made another photodocumentary similar to the bathroom renovation thread. It's killing me not to be able to load an image and then look away in horror and disgust. Or you could load an image of your sister-in-law looking away in horror and disgust.

Zool lobbied hard, but I didn't think it would be nearly this much of an adventure.

[Zool]

Zool lobbied hard, but I didn't think it would be nearly this much of an adventure.

You never fucking listen to me

[mraynrand]

Nobody commented about the itching after the shaving.


If you had promised to scratch, things would have been different.

[mraynrand]

I think it's time for Skin to break out the leeches. This has gone on long enough.

[SkinBasket]

Now that I've molded the hematoma to the shape of my nut cup, it's not so bad. I just have to do a lot of adjusting to make sure my giant, heavy ballsack fits.

[hoosier]

Have it drained.

[Freak Out]

http://www.darwinharmless.com/thoughts_and_comments/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/Circumcision-egyption.jpg

[Iron Mike]

Garbage Can, here we come.....

http://s3.amazonaws.com/itriage/google_image_searches/53db9bcfeb1de797f95dce2069f312fc/original.jpeg?1269014454

[swede]

Mine's bigger.

http://www.taylorshellfishstore.com/images/P/Geoduck-01.jpg

[SkinBasket]

Have it drained.

I'm not doctor, but I believe that a) it's far too solidified to be drained and b) draining only serves to greatly increase the rate of infection. Thus, unless something is in danger, they want to let it resolve itself.

[Deputy Nutz]

You can't have it drained, you have to have it removed. Been there.

[Deputy Nutz]

Mike, I think that guy was dead. Or at least he should be

[hoosier]

I'm not doctor, but I believe that a) it's far too solidified to be drained and b) draining only serves to greatly increase the rate of infection. Thus, unless something is in danger, they want to let it resolve itself.

Good point. Scrotum, heal thyself.

[Scott Campbell]

I'm not doctor, but I believe that a) it's far too solidified to be drained and b) draining only serves to greatly increase the rate of infection. Thus, unless something is in danger, they want to let it resolve itself.


I'm just shocked that it was infection free in the first place.

[Deputy Nutz]

Good point

[mraynrand]

leeches!

http://www.nursingcenter.com/library/JournalArticle.asp?Article_ID=853608

[SkinBasket]

I'm just shocked that it was infection free in the first place.

My balls are some of the cleanest on earth.

[SkinBasket]

You can't have it drained, you have to have it removed. Been there.

So did you have it removed or did you suffer the extra weight? Have you told me this before? It's hard to believe we haven't discussed this topic.

[Deputy Nutz]

Yes, but it was from my youth and it gave me a huge nutsack. See the moral of the story is don't walk infront of a pitching machine when the light is blinking. Damage to the testicles and then I grew a huge protective shield over the testicle. I had it removed when I was 20 and they put a drainage tube and bag in my nutsack threw the skin of my adomen. The worst part is when they pulled the drainage tube out of me. I have impressed many.

[Zool]

My balls are some of the cleanest on earth.

I thought dog mouths were quite dirty.

[Deputy Nutz]

actually very clean, reasonably moist as well

[Scott Campbell]

http://images1.vat19.com/floppy-indoor-golf-ball/floppy-indoor-golf-ball-3-per-set.jpg

[Iron Mike]

Mine's bigger.

http://www.taylorshellfishstore.com/images/P/Geoduck-01.jpg

Geoduck!!!!

[Freak Out]

Geoduck!!!!

Man I loves me some Geoduck chowda!

[HowardRoark]

Is SkinBasket dead?

[mraynrand]

Is SkinBasket dead?


I think he's busy digging up more stats on JaMarcus Russell

[MJZiggy]

Maybe somehow his balls are preventing him from posting...

[Freak Out]

Howz the jewels.....or what's left of them?

[SkinBasket]

The pain lasted about a week, then subsided when I took my balls to Great Wolf and spent long hours in the hot tub between episodes of slapping them on water slides. The hematoma is reducing nicely, and is down about 30-40% from it's peak. It moves around inside the sack now instead of pushing against it in a desperate effort to break my scrotum wide open, and almost just feels like a hard, heavy testicle 4 times too big. So, to sum, things are going splendidly. Only 3 more ejaculations until I take them a baby batter sample to make sure the sugar is missing.

[HowardRoark]

Great Wolf should put that in their brochures.

[mraynrand]

Great Wolf should put that in their brochures.

http://www.grist.org/i/assets/blinky

[Freak Out]

How are the scrotums these days boys? Everything all healed up and functioning norm.....well...you know what I mean.

[HowardRoark]

How are the scrotums these days boys? Everything all healed up and functioning norm.....well...you know what I mean.

All systems go.

http://www.laboratoryalliance.org/images/sterilecup.jpg

[SkinBasket]

I've still got a couple of bad angles on the one nut, but it's still there. Or if it isn't I don't know the difference. Every now and again the one rubs it's point against the other and that's kind of a sickening, uncomfortable feeling, but nothing as bad as the initial explosion.

PS: thanks for asking. You show more concern than my wife in this regard.

[Cleft Crusty]

Clefty has warned about this before, but it's so important, I feel the need to repeat: Never mix Flomax and Viagra - imagine a chase scene from a cop movie where the perp crashes his car into and knocks over a fire hydrant.

[HowardRoark]

http://www.crossingbroad.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/Voila_Capture-2015-01-23_08-44-23_AM.jpg