Cheezey Seduction Techniques

[Harlan Huckleby]

This holiday season I got to thinking about lines and tricks to soften the resistance of the fairer sex. I think older women are problematic, they tend to come with expectations of a full time job, or robust investment portfolio. No, for purposes of this sociological study, lets focus on the barely legal set.

The only trick I remember from high school was to claim "blue balls" - the great allure of the young lady is achingly claimed to cause terrible pain. Puppy dog eyes plead for some sort of relief. I doubt it worked very often.

Do you have some shady pickup lines? Please share.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DO8vD0ClzbE


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZX3yFKM5zY

[mraynrand]

The brother of my college friend used to use the line: "Throw it in ya?" He was 6' 4", dark, handsome, athletic, and had a degree from Notre Dame. Worked every time. It's not so much the line or the technique - it's the man, baby.

old baldies like us have to pray for power outages.

[Harlan Huckleby]

old baldies like us have to pray for power outages.

Michael Jordan recently remarried

http://thumbnails.eonline.com/p/newsnow_20111229_g_176535.jpg

[mraynrand]

Michael Jordan recently remarried

His pickup line: "I'm worth 500 million, am the greatest basketball player ever, and my T-shirts don't bacon on me" beats my: "hey, howareya?"

[Harlan Huckleby]

His pickup line: "I'm worth 500 million, am the greatest basketball player ever, and my T-shirts don't bacon on me" beats my: "hey, howareya?"

nope. He got her pregnant with the old blue balls trick.

[HowardRoark]

nope. He got her pregnant with the old blue balls trick.

Should have got em snipped.

[mraynrand]

nope. He got her pregnant with the old blue balls trick.

source?

[Scott Campbell]

I'm going to send penis pictures via cellphone. I head that works.

[Tarlam!]

His pickup line: "I'm worth 500 million, am the greatest basketball player ever, and my T-shirts don't bacon on me" beats my: "hey, howareya?"

His pickup line was "I can pay for your nosejob"

[woodbuck27]

The brother of my college friend used to use the line: "Throw it in ya?" He was 6' 4", dark, handsome, athletic, and had a degree from Notre Dame. Worked every time. It's not so much the line or the technique - it's the man, baby.

old baldies like us have to pray for power outages.

Yaa LOL; but what would be the excuse or way out if like me, you have a full head of hair? Ohh I forgot. I don't have a problem with that issue.

Signed.....Still Charming at 65. (-;

[red]

Michael Jordan recently remarried

http://thumbnails.eonline.com/p/newsnow_20111229_g_176535.jpg

yeah, its about time that MJ got a woman thats hot enough for his wealth, talent and fame.

i always kind of wondered how his old wife managed to snag him

[MJZiggy]

Michael Jordan recently remarried

http://thumbnails.eonline.com/p/newsnow_20111229_g_176535.jpg

Is he sitting, like, two feet closer to the camera than she is?

[GrnBay007]

This holiday season I got to thinking about lines and tricks to soften the resistance of the fairer sex. I think older women are problematic,



Doesn't alcohol work for any age? ;)

[Tarlam!]

Doesn't alcohol work for any age? ;)

I have been led to believe Australian accents are pretty effective in the USA ;)

[GrnBay007]

I have been led to believe Australian accents are pretty effective in the USA ;)

Sexxxxi! :)

[Harlan Huckleby]

Doesn't alcohol work for any age? ;)


no, it helps my courage but I tend to get sleepy.

[GrnBay007]

There ya go Harlan...........Australian accent! Try it!!!!

[Harlan Huckleby]

ok, mate

[Scott Campbell]

I have been led to believe Australian accents are pretty effective in the USA ;)


I've been told that Aussie women LOVE American men.

[Scott Campbell]

This holiday season I got to thinking about lines and tricks to soften the resistance of the fairer sex. I think older women are problematic, they tend to come with expectations of a full time job, or robust investment portfolio. No, for purposes of this sociological study, lets focus on the barely legal set.


You always told me this was your favorite technique.

http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTTBqEmd3w3cFu0YBTyIJnyDkBhRRKeQ MgerXHIH2kz_cakLp5NV8npAglnUw

[Tarlam!]

I've been told that Aussie women LOVE American men.

They do, especially African American men. I have always wondered about that. Must be their deeply tanned skin.

[MJZiggy]

They do, especially African American men. I have always wondered about that. Must be their deeply tanned skin.

Wouldn't it be closer just to find them in Africa?

[Tarlam!]

Slightly. It's a 12 hour flight to Jo-Berg and 13-14 hours to LA. But Africans and A-As are not the same. You are aware of that, right?

BTW, Aussie girls just wait for the Navy Carriers to enter the harbour. 5000 party happy sailors hit the shore bars. The ladies just pick and choose.

[MJZiggy]

Hell, you could do that in Milwaukee too. The sailors would come up from Great Lakes Naval Academy to party (why did they come all the way up to Milwaukee when Chicago was closer?).

[woodbuck27]

Hell, you could do that in Milwaukee too. The sailors would come up from Great Lakes Naval Academy to party (why did they come all the way up to Milwaukee when Chicago was closer?).

I"m guessing that smaller city Milwaukee was 'a happier hunting ground' than BIG CITY Chicago.

[sheepshead]

Hell, you could do that in Milwaukee too. The sailors would come up from Great Lakes Naval Academy to party (why did they come all the way up to Milwaukee when Chicago was closer?).
Drinking age was 18?

[MJZiggy]

Drinking age was 18?Right. Forgot about that part.

[Harlan Huckleby]

Hell, you could do that in Milwaukee too. The sailors would come up from

You seem to have a keen awareness of the fleet schedule. When are the boys next in port out your way?

[3irty1]

Blue dog I don't have any gold lines for you but I can offer my own personal recipe. The problem isn't with the lines themselves but the fact that you have to walk up to the lady and say them. Just walking up will put her in rejection-mode. A psychological defense mechanism constructed after years of morons hitting on her. Next time stand a safe distance away, make eye contact, and make a don't-I-know-you-from-somewhere-face. Only old friends make this face so this will put her in old-friend mode. Walk up now and she'll smile the whole time. Its like night and day.

Now to expedite seduction the best thing you can do for your cause is to move her around frequently. Get her to switch bars, eat food, smoke, get your friend to tell her that her car is being towed... doesn't matter. This makes it seem as if a lot more time has passed than really has. In fact she might have several evenings worth of memories in a single night which makes you no longer a stranger. Which means she's way more likely to let you give her hep C.

[MJZiggy]

You seem to have a keen awareness of the fleet schedule. When are the boys next in port out your way?

I haven't lived in Milwaukee since the 90s. You would have a better feel for that these days than I do.

[Harlan Huckleby]

a
Now to expedite seduction the best thing you can do for your cause is to move her around frequently. Get her to switch bars, eat food, smoke, get your friend to tell her that her car is being towed... doesn't matter.

Say now, that's some fancy psych-ops there.

You just reminded me of an incredible true story. I know the two guys who run this website:
http://www.howtosucceedwithwomen.com/

They are pretty much scam artists. They give advice are fooling chicks on this website, and they have an alternate career doing sensitivity training/self awareness seminars. They use different names for each purpose.

The situation is too bizarre to describe. The guys are a real mutt 'n' jeff pair, not particularly successful with women in their own lives.

Anyway, I remember looking at a book they wrote, and one piece of advice is to always move quickly through rooms, like you are an important person with things to do.

And then there's this practical advice: if you get stood-up on a date, call the next day and apologize for not being there.

[Tarlam!]

It's a lot of effort, 31. Especially if she's with a group. Could only work in a city and at a time when the bars aren't packed.

I think the best hunting ground is the Supermarket. There's something about food talk that is erotic to women. If you can cook at least in theory, you're good to go.

[Harlan Huckleby]

I haven't lived in Milwaukee since the 90s. You would have a better feel for that these days than I do.
"out your way" does not mean milwaukee

I'm not so up on milwaukee sailor scene

[3irty1]

a
Anyway, I remember looking at a book they wrote, and one piece of advice is to always move quickly through rooms, like you are an important person with things to do.

And then there's this practical advice: if you get stood-up on a date, call the next day and apologize for not being there.

I have a friend who takes that idea to the extreme. When he walks into a place for the first time, he subtly touches ever person as he walks past them. The effect is that everyone in the room will turn their head to see who touched them. Some of them will even talk to each other and point at him. Its kind of funny to watch but I really doubt its so great.

[3irty1]

It's a lot of effort, 31. Especially if she's with a group. Could only work in a city and at a time when the bars aren't packed.

I think the best hunting ground is the Supermarket. There's something about food talk that is erotic to women. If you can cook at least in theory, you're good to go.

With a group is no big deal. Do everything the same and then when you walk up say "How have you been!" All the overprotective friends and blockers will think you're an old friend too and let you infiltrate their babe vault. Loud atmosphere is preferred for me as its a good excuse to get close and speak in each other's ears.

The supermarket is great for a guy like you or me but it works much better at night. Single ladies shop at night for some reason and are never in a hurry.

[MJZiggy]

With a group is no big deal. Do everything the same and then when you walk up say "How have you been!" All the overprotective friends and blockers will think you're an old friend too and let you infiltrate their babe vault. Loud atmosphere is preferred for me as its a good excuse to get close and speak in each other's ears.

The supermarket is great for a guy like you or me but it works much better at night. Single ladies shop at night for some reason and are never in a hurry.

Speak for yourself. I want in and out of there as fast as I can possibly gather everything. Self checkout ain't helping your cause either.

[Tarlam!]

Speak for yourself. I want in and out of there as fast as I can possibly gather everything. Self checkout ain't helping your cause either.

And you wonder why you spend time as a single?

[MJZiggy]

And you wonder why you spend time as a single?

I'm usually hungry by then. And I usually have a kid helping do the shopping. If it makes you feel better, I do have a hot date tomorrow. I didn't meet him at the grocery store though.

[3irty1]

The real strength of the grocery store is that people are casual. Everyone looks and thus feels at 75%. Your 8's and 9's are more like 6's and 7's. Dress up a little before you're shopping and you can pretty easily out-punt your coverage. By far the easiest place to meet people is an impractical place like Whole Foods. Nobody shops there unless they're only buying food for themselves and its 90% women. The aisles are super tight which makes it easy to force an interaction. On the occasion that I've got to pick up something from Whole Foods, I'll grab some flowers from the florist section up front. Carrying flowers in the grocery store does a lot:

a) is something that every girl notices
b) automatically makes you a sweetheart
c) since the flowers are assumed to be for a woman, ladies will be less threatened when you talk to them.
d) are a great litmus test for a woman's interest. Anyone remotely interested in you is going to ask who the flowers are for as they are fishing to know if you're single.

Say they are for your grandma or niece or something and all of a sudden you're the nicest guy who ever lived. Then you move in together, she starts asking for things like $600 shoes, and eventually shits inside your heart. Serves you right though for starting your relationship with all the above deception.

[GrnBay007]

I'll grab some flowers from the florist section up front. Carrying flowers in the grocery store does a lot:

a) is something that every girl notices
b) automatically makes you a sweetheart
c) since the flowers are assumed to be for a woman, ladies will be less threatened when you talk to them.
d) are a great litmus test for a woman's interest. Anyone remotely interested in you is going to ask who the flowers are for as they are fishing to know if you're single.



Funny that you mentioned the flowers. My brother told me a story about stopping at the grocery store to pick up some flowers and having 2-3 women flirt with hm. ....so maybe there is something to that!

[GrnBay007]

Then you move in together, she starts asking for things like $600 shoes, and eventually shits inside your heart.

:( wounds are still a lil fresh?

[Scott Campbell]

Yaa LOL; but what would be the excuse or way out if like me, you have a full head of hair? Ohh I forgot. I don't have a problem with that issue.

Signed.....Still Charming at 65. (-;



Woody is pretty smooth with that never fail pickup line............... "....would you like to borrow some of my Poligrip?".

[mraynrand]

The real strength of the grocery store is that people are casual. Everyone looks and thus feels at 75%. Your 8's and 9's are more like 6's and 7's. Dress up a little before you're shopping and you can pretty easily out-punt your coverage. By far the easiest place to meet people is an impractical place like Whole Foods. Nobody shops there unless they're only buying food for themselves and its 90% women. The aisles are super tight which makes it easy to force an interaction. On the occasion that I've got to pick up something from Whole Foods, I'll grab some flowers from the florist section up front. Carrying flowers in the grocery store does a lot:

a) is something that every girl notices
b) automatically makes you a sweetheart
c) since the flowers are assumed to be for a woman, ladies will be less threatened when you talk to them.
d) are a great litmus test for a woman's interest. Anyone remotely interested in you is going to ask who the flowers are for as they are fishing to know if you're single.

Say they are for your grandma or niece or something and all of a sudden you're the nicest guy who ever lived. Then you move in together, she starts asking for things like $600 shoes, and eventually shits inside your heart. Serves you right though for starting your relationship with all the above deception.

This is one of the funniest posts in Packerrats history.

[Tarlam!]

This is one of the funniest posts in Packerrats history.

Except he's dead right with his observations, hahahaha

[Tarlam!]

What also works great is waiting at a traffic light/being in a traffic jam on a two laned road: motioning to the female driver in sign language that you want to have a cup of coffee with her. First, she's not expecting to be hit on in that situation - I always get a huge laugh at least. Then the following happens:

She shows me her ring finger to tell me she's married,
She shakes her head, but mouths "thanks anyway"
She raises her wrist and points to her watch and mouths "no time" - which is when I mimic a phonecall, and mimic writing down a phone number. The response is either a headshake no, or, she winds down her window and we start to dialogue.
If she just looks sheepishly, I wind down my window and ask her to do the same.

[SkinBasket]

What also works great is waiting at a traffic light/being in a traffic jam on a two laned road: motioning to the female driver in sign language that you want to have a cup of coffee with her. First, she's not expecting to be hit on in that situation - I always get a huge laugh at least. Then the following happens:

She shows me her ring finger to tell me she's married,
She shakes her head, but mouths "thanks anyway"
She raises her wrist and points to her watch and mouths "no time" - which is when I mimic a phonecall, and mimic writing down a phone number. The response is either a headshake no, or, she winds down her window and we start to dialogue.
If she just looks sheepishly, I wind down my window and ask her to do the same.

Jesus, you can be creepy when you want to be, can't you?

[Harlan Huckleby]

when skinbasket finds you creepy, it's time for some serious reflection

[Tarlam!]

when skinbasket finds you creepy, it's time for some serious reflection

Ya, I've been looking in the mirror since he wrote that. I'm worried.

[Deputy Nutz]

Best why to meet chicks, take Skinbasket with you. Women are always coming up to me and asking me what is wrong with my friend.

[MadtownPacker]

Best why to meet chicks, take Skinbasket with you. Women are always coming up to me and asking me what is wrong with my friend.Daaaaammnnnn that's fucked up!!!

[3irty1]

IMO the hard part isn't meeting them or even getting them to view you in a favorable light, its everything that comes afterwards. Harlan wants to seduce women not make facebook friends. Its important to know how to quickly meet a lot of women and build some attraction as to some degree its a numbers game but the real goal should be to better your batting average not just get more at bats.

Lets move this thread to the GC so we can share some success stories.

[Harlan Huckleby]

Lets move this thread to the GC so we can share some success stories.

rich.

[Joemailman]

Best why to meet chicks, take Skinbasket with you. Women are always coming up to me and asking me what is wrong with my friend.

What do you tell them?

[Little Whiskey]

have a bar full of buddies back you up in a rousing rendition of "You've lost that loving feeling"

[MadtownPacker]

Harlan wants to seduce women not make facebook friends.
Shut the fuck up. HH was asking how to pick up bitches??

[MadtownPacker]

This holiday season I got to thinking about lines and tricks to soften the resistance of the fairer sex. I think older women are problematic, they tend to come with expectations of a full time job, or robust investment portfolio. No, for purposes of this sociological study, lets focus on the barely legal set.

The only trick I remember from high school was to claim "blue balls" - the great allure of the young lady is achingly claimed to cause terrible pain. Puppy dog eyes plead for some sort of relief. I doubt it worked very often.

Do you have some shady pickup lines? Please share.
Just as I thought. I jumped into the thread on page 2 without reading all of page 1 but I knew HH wasnt asking about females.

You dumb asses dont get it. This dirty, old bullqueer HH gets his jollies by reading your accounts of courtships. Its really sick and not in a good way. Cant believe I was gonna hang out with that freak.

[3irty1]

Doesn't bother me. Harlan, I'll PM you my finest verbal chloroform.

[MadtownPacker]

Doesn't bother me. Harlan, I'll PM you my finest verbal chloroform.

I'm guessing he would prefer a crotchshot from your phone.

[Iron Mike]

http://www.generallyawesome.com/provolone.gif

[Tarlam!]

Here's some help from the web, HH

http://www.google.de/search?sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8&q=best+pickup+lines

[Harlan Huckleby]

best gay bar line, "mind if I push in your stool?"

"you must be overdue at the library, cause you got fine written all over you." now that one could work.

[GrnBay007]

Oh boy :(

[Tarlam!]

Oh boy :(

Yeah, that's what he's saying.

[mraynrand]

"you must be overdue at the library, cause you got fine written all over you."

:lol:

That one got me a vodka tonic in the kisser once!

[mraynrand]

I once used this: "Let's swim to the moon, let's climb through the tide, penetrate the evening that the City sleeps to hide."

I can still hear the laughter.

Never use Doors lyrics in a trendy bar.

[Iron Mike]

I once used this: "Let's swim to the moon, let's climb through the tide, penetrate the evening that the City sleeps to hide."

I can still hear the laughter.

Never use Doors lyrics in a trendy bar.

That's a little more subtle than "C'mon, touch me babe....can't you see that I am not afraid."

[MadtownPacker]

Cant you guys just a get some hoe drunk and make it easy?

[Iron Mike]

Never use Doors lyrics in a trendy bar.

I can't believe that "American Prayer" wouldn't translate into instant ass:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3dpuIMLugCw

[Deputy Nutz]

What do you tell them?
I say, "It mostly has to do with his Grandma."

[3irty1]

My Jewish girl pickup line:

"If you were any hotter you'd be a pile of ashes."

Can we move this to the GC yet?

[Harlan Huckleby]

My Jewish girl pickup line:

"If you were any hotter you'd be a pile of ashes.

I think those jokes are out of fashion now. Not for PC reasons, the era has receded from living memory. I remember this super-skinny kid we played backyard hockey with was nicknamed "Auschwitz."