Onion Sports Articles

[jack's smirking revenge]

Troy Aikman Becomes First Robot Inducted Into Pro Football Hall Of Fame
August 10, 2006

http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/Troy-Aikman-R.jpg

CANTON, OH—Troy Aikman, the blond, blue-sensored humanoid robot who led the Dallas Cowboys to three Super Bowls in his 12-year period of servitude with the team, became the first artificial construct to enter the Pro Football Hall of Fame Sunday. "No one who saw Dallas' Throwing/Running Offensive Yardage generator, or T.R.O.Y. as we called him around the shop, will forget his perfect mechanics or the cold, unemotional style he brought to the position of quarterbot," said former Cowboys offensive coordinator Norv Turner, who was responsible for writing Aikman's programs and who introduced Aikman during the induction ceremony. "If it were possible to feel love for a mere machine, I think everyone here would agree that we all might just love Troy Aikman." Aikman himself delivered a brief pre-recorded speech thanking all the technicians who made him possible before removing his head and upper torso, which will be displayed in the Hall of Fame alongside the busts of human players.

[]{ilr]3]

LOL, funny stuff! :lol:


I know there is a certain hatred for the Cowboys from Packers fans, one that I happen to share. But I like Aikman as a commentator.

Maybe because he is pre-programed by Fox Sports :razz:

[Tarlam!]

You were Kirl on JSO, weren't you?

[]{ilr]3]

KilrB on most sites :smile:

[Tarlam!]

Man, I knew I had you tagged!!!!

Welcome to here! Just igore the "realists" and enjoy!

Glad you made the cyber-jump...

[test]

You were Kirl on JSO, weren't you?

another identity discovered. :roll:

[]{ilr]3]

I still post on JSO, PackersNews, Packers,Scout and PackerChatters. Never been a big poster there. Do alot of reading. I find this forum a lot more fun. Don’t have to put up with the political crap posted in the wrong forum. Neither have I seen the typical Bears or Viking trolls here. Not that a respectable fan from the dark side wouldn’t be welcome. I just get really sick of the a-holes that just come in to post garbage and start arguments. I remember one loser Vikings fan that even came into PackersNews from purplepride.org and started posting gay porn. They still didn’t ban him.

[Fosco33]

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/51801

Classic Onion!

Brett Favre sells out Lambeau for a suit fitting....

[MJZiggy]

That was hilarious.

[jack's smirking revenge]

That WAS awesome! I especially love how The Onion indirectly chastized Cliff Christl with his "hang it up" comments.

The Onion started in Madison, dontcha know....

tyler

[GBRulz]

Good one, Fosco!!

The sad thing is, there are people who WOULD pay $65 to see him fitted for a suit. To protect the innocent, I will not name names... :oops:

[BananaMan]

http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/Sell-Out-Lambeau.jpg

That's hilarious!!!

[the_idle_threat]

Christl's been saying the opposite ... that Favre is the only playmaker left on the team and we should enjoy him while he's still around and able to give the team a chance. Funny article though ...

[Zool]

The Onion started in Madison, dontcha know....

tyler

I wish they would post the Drunk of the Week on the website like they do in the paper.

[the_idle_threat]

They still do that in the print edition? :lol: I was just telling someone about that feature, which I heven't seen for a long while perhaps b/c I usually read it online..

[Scott Campbell]

I wish they would post the Drunk of the Week on the website like they do in the paper.

http://www.wfmynews2.com/assetpool/images/06816135325_203x152_749381632585288554220542.jpg

[the_idle_threat]

:lol: That is harsh!

[Scott Campbell]

http://www.eastcoastbob.com/namath%20drunk.jpg

[Scott Campbell]

http://agrino.org/elocon/fun/04/drunk.jpg

[Scott Campbell]

http://www.chicagoist.com/attachments/chicagoist_joanna/baby%20drunk.jpg

[Scott Campbell]

http://it.gizmodo.com/drunk-santa-thumb.jpg

Jingle balls, jingle balls, jingle all the way.........

[Fosco33]

They still do that in the print edition? :lol: I was just telling someone about that feature, which I heven't seen for a long while perhaps b/c I usually read it online..

Someone told me the Onion may be permenantly making the move to online only distribution... every Wednesday @ Madtown I'd spend my first hour of class reading that shit. I can't see myself reading on online paper like that....

[the_idle_threat]

I'd be disappointed, but it would make sense. The print edition has got to be enormously expensive.

I was in Madison last week, and they still have them all over the place ... still for free. They're also available here in MKE, but I almost never pick any up. When I do, it's because I wanna mail 'em to friends who are overseas in the military.

[jack's smirking revenge]

I can't see them doing that either, but it makes sense. I know they just opened up an L.A. bureau for an L.A.-focused paper.

I'd be really bummed out if it went online-only. I dig the print every week.

tyler

[GoPackGo]

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