Fritz
11-02-2012, 09:57 AM
Remember when you were a kid, and you did some horrific thing and were waiting for the beating from the old man? And then he'd come up to you, and say "I'm disappointed in you" instead And you realized, although your ass was glad not to be walloped, that this was in fact worse than a beating?
Well, like many Rats, I'm not feeling great about the Packers so far. I have hope this crucible will form them into the tough, relentless machine they were at the end of the 2010 season, but for now, I'm disappointed. So I thought I'd list the players in whom I'm most disappointed.
"You Let Us All Down, Son. I Thought You Were Better than that" - Severely Disappointed
Jerel Worthy - I thought that defensive linemen played a position that allowed them to come in and make an immediate impact, at least on obvious passing downs. But Worthy hasn't gotten much penetration at all. Despite the increase in sacks from last year, it still seems like opposing QB's get a really nice pocket to throw from.
Morgan Burnett - Safeties take a long time to develop (see Sharper, Darren, and Collins, Nick) so I could be wrong here - maybe this is that "he should be good by now but he sucks" year, and next year he'll be all that and a box of Crackerjacks. But right now I'm disappointed that he hasn't been more of a play maker. He seems like just a guy right now.
Mason Crosby - Okay, dude, you've been through the fires that are supposed to mold you into a very reliable machine from 40-and-under, and a real threat above that. You're a vet now, not a developing kid. But no. You suck. You're clanging shit from in close, you're a good bet to miss from fifty and up, and you still look like that famous midget actor guy. I used to like you, but you suck.
"I'm Disappointed in You, Son. I Wish I Knew What to Do to Make You Understand:" - Moderately Disappointed
Chaz Woodson - I know the decline was inevitable and showing already, but did it have to become so precipitous this year? He's grabbier than a 15 year old kid at a school dance, he's slower than Madea, and he's out of position more than my ex-girlfriend. Charles, we hardly know ye any more.
Jermichael Finley - I'm only mildly disappointed in the same way I'm only mildly disappointed when I see a hot woman with big tits in a low-cut top whose boobs never quite fall out all the way. You tease, you flash a little, but that's all. I think there's still some hope, but time is running out. Stop with the explanations, too. Even if they are true and thoughtful, this is sports. Fans expect the old "we will just soldier on" and "we should win even if every single starter is hurt and the coach's son just died" attitude. It's not fair, it's not right, but that's the way it is. So just look grim and say shit like "I've got to do better," and nothing more.
Mike Neal - You're about thisclose from being the next Justin Harrell. You need to stay on the field, and when are you going to get some sacks?
BJ Raji - Umm, you're contract's coming up, dude. Where have you been? I know you don't like this system, but you're not much of an impact player right now.
"You Really Shouldn't Be Grab-Assing the Girls, Son" - Mildly Disappointed
Alex Green - Yes, the offensive line has sucked, but Cedric "The Entertainer" Benson got more yards out of the same group of schmucks in front of him. What's the deal? Again, running back seems like the same deal as defensive line - natural talent can shine through sooner than it can for, say, a quarterback or safety. But you look like Ryan Grant - run into the pile, get one yard, get hit, go down.
Jeff Saturday - You are as advertised, only less so. I knew Scott Wells, and you're no Scott Wells. You may not even be Evan Dietrich Smith.
TJ Lang - I know you've been hurt and that limits you, and I know you have to cover for Saturday, but man, you get pushed back and run by a lot this year. What gives?
Marshall Newhouse - I had hopes you'd develop, but you apparently are what you are. A marshmallow. You're a plug-in, a guy, a non-impact player.
DJ Williams - Uh, when you get an opportunity in the NFL you either grab it or grab your balls and shrivel up. Guess which one you've done so far?
Nick Perry - You're a work in progress, I know, but the progress seems slow.
MM/Rodgers Play Calling - I don't know which one of you it is, or if it's both of you, but what's up with throwing long all the damn time? How many times do I have to watch Kuhn or Green or some tight end waving frantically for the ball, wide-open five or six yards down the field, when it's second-and-eight (because a running play usually nets us two yards on first down), only to see the ball thrown up to Nelson or whomever, thirty yards away, with two defenders draped over him? What happened to taking what they give you?
KYPack - Where are you, dude? We need your insight and your clever references. Are you getting a real life or something? If so, stop with that already.
Well, like many Rats, I'm not feeling great about the Packers so far. I have hope this crucible will form them into the tough, relentless machine they were at the end of the 2010 season, but for now, I'm disappointed. So I thought I'd list the players in whom I'm most disappointed.
"You Let Us All Down, Son. I Thought You Were Better than that" - Severely Disappointed
Jerel Worthy - I thought that defensive linemen played a position that allowed them to come in and make an immediate impact, at least on obvious passing downs. But Worthy hasn't gotten much penetration at all. Despite the increase in sacks from last year, it still seems like opposing QB's get a really nice pocket to throw from.
Morgan Burnett - Safeties take a long time to develop (see Sharper, Darren, and Collins, Nick) so I could be wrong here - maybe this is that "he should be good by now but he sucks" year, and next year he'll be all that and a box of Crackerjacks. But right now I'm disappointed that he hasn't been more of a play maker. He seems like just a guy right now.
Mason Crosby - Okay, dude, you've been through the fires that are supposed to mold you into a very reliable machine from 40-and-under, and a real threat above that. You're a vet now, not a developing kid. But no. You suck. You're clanging shit from in close, you're a good bet to miss from fifty and up, and you still look like that famous midget actor guy. I used to like you, but you suck.
"I'm Disappointed in You, Son. I Wish I Knew What to Do to Make You Understand:" - Moderately Disappointed
Chaz Woodson - I know the decline was inevitable and showing already, but did it have to become so precipitous this year? He's grabbier than a 15 year old kid at a school dance, he's slower than Madea, and he's out of position more than my ex-girlfriend. Charles, we hardly know ye any more.
Jermichael Finley - I'm only mildly disappointed in the same way I'm only mildly disappointed when I see a hot woman with big tits in a low-cut top whose boobs never quite fall out all the way. You tease, you flash a little, but that's all. I think there's still some hope, but time is running out. Stop with the explanations, too. Even if they are true and thoughtful, this is sports. Fans expect the old "we will just soldier on" and "we should win even if every single starter is hurt and the coach's son just died" attitude. It's not fair, it's not right, but that's the way it is. So just look grim and say shit like "I've got to do better," and nothing more.
Mike Neal - You're about thisclose from being the next Justin Harrell. You need to stay on the field, and when are you going to get some sacks?
BJ Raji - Umm, you're contract's coming up, dude. Where have you been? I know you don't like this system, but you're not much of an impact player right now.
"You Really Shouldn't Be Grab-Assing the Girls, Son" - Mildly Disappointed
Alex Green - Yes, the offensive line has sucked, but Cedric "The Entertainer" Benson got more yards out of the same group of schmucks in front of him. What's the deal? Again, running back seems like the same deal as defensive line - natural talent can shine through sooner than it can for, say, a quarterback or safety. But you look like Ryan Grant - run into the pile, get one yard, get hit, go down.
Jeff Saturday - You are as advertised, only less so. I knew Scott Wells, and you're no Scott Wells. You may not even be Evan Dietrich Smith.
TJ Lang - I know you've been hurt and that limits you, and I know you have to cover for Saturday, but man, you get pushed back and run by a lot this year. What gives?
Marshall Newhouse - I had hopes you'd develop, but you apparently are what you are. A marshmallow. You're a plug-in, a guy, a non-impact player.
DJ Williams - Uh, when you get an opportunity in the NFL you either grab it or grab your balls and shrivel up. Guess which one you've done so far?
Nick Perry - You're a work in progress, I know, but the progress seems slow.
MM/Rodgers Play Calling - I don't know which one of you it is, or if it's both of you, but what's up with throwing long all the damn time? How many times do I have to watch Kuhn or Green or some tight end waving frantically for the ball, wide-open five or six yards down the field, when it's second-and-eight (because a running play usually nets us two yards on first down), only to see the ball thrown up to Nelson or whomever, thirty yards away, with two defenders draped over him? What happened to taking what they give you?
KYPack - Where are you, dude? We need your insight and your clever references. Are you getting a real life or something? If so, stop with that already.