Reuters - Man kills self over MNF game

[VegasPackFan]

Man kills self over MNF game
LAS VEGAS (Reuters) - A Las Vegas man hung himself tonight, apparently distraught over the current state of the Green Bay Packers franchise and their recent appearance on Monday Night Football. A suicide note and statement from his widow are the only clues to what may have gone horribly wrong.

The unidentified man was found hanging in his family room in front of a big screen TV, with the ESPN channel still blaring.

“He was really losing it, and it got worse and worse as the night went on”, stated his widow.

A hastily constructed suicide letter was found stuffed in the waistband of the victim’s Reggie White Underoos – the only clothing found on the body. “IT’S OVER” was scrawled on the folded paper.

Excerpts from the suicide note, released by investigators, provide a look into the tortured existence of this Packer fan:

“When did Carson Palmer become the media darling? This is ridiculous, where the hell is Madden when you need him?”

“That SOB Kornholio (an obvious reference to Tony Kornheiser) mentioned Vince Lombardi and Marvin Lewis in the same friggin’ sentence! DIE, M#&^%”’er, DIE!!!!!!!”

The victim’s widow provided additional insight into a man slowly slipping into the abyss of despair:

”He was so excited to watch his beloved team and his favorite player returning for another year. I remember him talking about AJ Hawk and how great the defense would be with all the new players. He came home from work early just so he could listen to WTMJ radio on line and then catch the game on TV. It wasn’t long, though, before I noticed something didn’t seem right. At one point, he pulled his Favre jersey over his head, stuck his hands up in the air, and started walking around the living room, talking in a weird voice and ranting about “TP in his bunghole” or something. Then he proceeded to show the kids how a “real” player tackles someone. I made him stop after he drove Jr. through the drywall in the dining room – it was very disturbing”

“He called the local liquor store to order a case of Leinies, but they said they didn’t have any. I think that was the end for him.”

According to police reports, the widow made an effort to calm the victim down with a promise to find a case of Leinie’s somewhere in town. It would be the last time anyone would see this “die hard” Packer fan alive.

The note found on the body concluded, “I can’t even tell what fuckin’ down it is with this piece of shit in-game score board thing EPSN uses!”

Police Sgt. Jim O’Leary stated, “ He must have been totally out of it – they don’t even sell Leinie’s in this God-forsaken city”.

[RIPackerFan]

LOL!!!!!

Living in the NE, I miss being able to get Lienies - so I have been there.

[justanotherpackfan]

This is fake, right?

[Brainerd]

Its good to know that you haven't taken it all too seriously. :wink:

[Terry]

It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time, and this should help get you started. During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.


"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."


"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."


"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"

[Zool]

I will agree with the down and distance thing. I was searching for it all night.

[Green Bud Packer]

I will agree with the down and distance thing. I was searching for it all night. if your into the game you should know the down and distance without a prompter. kornholio sucks, i was waiting for theisman to pull off his wooden leg and beat him with it.

[Zool]

I will agree with the down and distance thing. I was searching for it all night. if your into the game you should know the down and distance without a prompter. kornholio sucks, i was waiting for theisman to pull off his wooden leg and beat him with it.

Without actually being at the game, its hard to tell the difference between a 6 yard play and a 7 yard play while seeing the 86,592 replay of Carson Palmers knee extension during a pass.

By the 3rd quarter i was about 20% into the game as I have a TV in the same room with my PC.

[Green Bud Packer]

i just wait for the ref to place the ball establishing the line of scrimmage and boom, down and distance.