Moral Quandry

[SkinBasket]

So I have this older neighbor, who by his own accounts is about as hillbilly as a person can get. We have another neighbor who works for this multimillion dollar game farm. So the game farm decides to drill some holes in the creek by the hillbilly's house, which is totally not legal - waterways are controlled by Fish and Game, and regardless of property lines, do not belong to private land owners. So the hillbilly calls the appropriate state representatives, who are all passing the buck, probably because they've been paid, so the hillbilly has threatened to shoot the employee of the game farm and/or his wife or anyone else who keeps messing around in the creek. And he will shoot / has shot people. I've tried to mildly discourage this, since he's generally a nice guy, we trade produce and game, and I am kind of friendly with the people he's threatening to shoot.

The thing is, I think the hillbilly is totally in the right on this, so I can't tell him he's being unreasonable, but I also like having him around, instead of in jail. I think the employee neighbor has been honing his shooting skills in the past couple days, and I expect he is now actively carrying. Should I be doing more to prevent a bloodbath on the road, or is it one of those things where I should not get involved in someone else's business, especially when it involves people shooting at one another over a metal post in a creek?

Advice?

[mraynrand]

So I have this older neighbor, who by his own accounts is about as hillbilly as a person can get. We have another neighbor who works for this multimillion dollar game farm. So the game farm decides to drill some holes in the creek by the hillbilly's house, which is totally not legal - waterways are controlled by Fish and Game, and regardless of property lines, do not belong to private land owners. So the hillbilly calls the appropriate state representatives, who are all passing the buck, probably because they've been paid, so the hillbilly has threatened to shoot the employee of the game farm and/or his wife or anyone else who keeps messing around in the creek. And he will shoot / has shot people. I've tried to mildly discourage this, since he's generally a nice guy, we trade produce and game, and I am kind of friendly with the people he's threatening to shoot.

The thing is, I think the hillbilly is totally in the right on this, so I can't tell him he's being unreasonable, but I also like having him around, instead of in jail. I think the employee neighbor has been honing his shooting skills in the past couple days, and I expect he is now actively carrying. Should I be doing more to prevent a bloodbath on the road, or is it one of those things where I should not get involved in someone else's business, especially when it involves people shooting at one another over a metal post in a creek?

Advice?


In 'A Private Little War' Kirk had no choice but to make sure both sides were equally armed. The Klingons had equipped the villagers with flintlocks, giving them military superiority over the hapless Hill People. Ultimately Kirk and his friend Tyree of the Hill People and Tyree's wife are all hurt or killed by the Villagers in some way or another, and come to the realization that the Hill People will be wiped out unless Kirk breaks the Prime Directive and gives the Hill People flintlocks ("Serpents for the garden of Eden"). Basically, one lesson is that you can't stop people from fighting and arguing over land. you have to make them equally prepared to defend themselves so that hopefully they will seek a peaceful negotiation, with the alternative being extermination. If you are lucky, in any case, a hot Hill woman named Nona will writhe around and sex you to health.

[hoosier]

I cannot answer the question because I do not understand it. How and why would someone drill a hole in a creek? Does what Heraclitus said about stepping in the same river twice also apply to drilling holes in a creek?

[3irty1]

The best chances for a happy ending involve trying to convince the hillbilly neighbor to bluff and simultaneously convince the employee neighbor that the hillbilly is not bluffing.

[Freak Out]

Push the State to look into it. If you have to choose sides do it. Are they doing this for drinking water..? Watering the game? Side with the Hillbilly.

[Freak Out]

In 'A Private Little War' Kirk had no choice but to make sure both sides were equally armed. The Klingons had equipped the villagers with flintlocks, giving them military superiority over the hapless Hill People. Ultimately Kirk and his friend Tyree of the Hill People and Tyree's wife are all hurt or killed by the Villagers in some way or another, and come to the realization that the Hill People will be wiped out unless Kirk breaks the Prime Directive and gives the Hill People flintlocks ("Serpents for the garden of Eden"). Basically, one lesson is that you can't stop people from fighting and arguing over land. you have to make them equally prepared to defend themselves so that hopefully they will seek a peaceful negotiation, with the alternative being extermination. If you are lucky, in any case, a hot Hill woman named Nona will writhe around and sex you to health.

Loved this episode.

[texaspackerbacker]

It would seem that this could be solved amicably by the one wanting to drill paying the hillbilly. Assuming it is a matter of pride or whatever and not actual harm from the hole drilling, both sides could benefit. I too am wondering why they want to drill holes. If it's for watering stock or something like that, they ought to be able to get it from where it doesn't run through the other guy's land. For what it's worth, I am very skeptical of the idea that the regulators were paid off and are clearly turning a blind eye to wrongdoing. On the slim chance that is true, there are a LOT of remedies: lawsuit, higher level government, news media, etc. If the hillbilly kills or maims somebody, he goes to prison, period - never mind the original right or wrong.

[wist43]

You could go to the media; you could try to convince the hillbilly to go the court route and get an injunction.

Both of those steps would put pressure on the disgusting government officials who are passing the buck to actually do their job.

Hell - for that matter, round up some watermelon environmentalists and get them to protest. Get the monkeys to do the work for you ;)

[mraynrand]

There are threats more powerful than guns...

https://cuppacritics.files.wordpress.com/2014/11/deliverance.jpg?w=440&h=230

[SkinBasket]

They drilled a hole to install a pole that measures the water depth, since the creek is also a road. They have no right to do so, but it is done. The hillbilly is in contact with his state representative, and has not, as of yet, shot anyone he hasn't shot before. I believe, in my heart, that in the near future I will probably be painting the 2 foot pole pink and adding details that strongly resemble the male genitalia, because I think that's the best outcome regardless.

I will have to co-conspire with the hillbilly though, because if he sees me fussing in the creek at night, chances are he will shoot at me, and while making a 2 foot cock in a creek seems worth the risk, my wife doesn't agree.

[mraynrand]

since the creek is also a road.

That just screams Kentucky

[wootah]

Since I did not know the answer on this moral dilemma, just like any normal person I looked it up on Google. I used "Hillbilly", "Creek" and "Shotgun" as keywords and got redirected to episode 'Leaky Creek' of the Hillbilly Bears. Unfortunately I cannot stream the episodes from this PC, but looking at the synopsis it seems it might just offer you some valid strategies to solve your quandary.


Leaky Creek
Maw sends Paw down to the creek to take a bath even though he just took one last year and doesn't think he needs another one. When he gets to the creek he finds it has gone dry due to a pesky beaver that has built a dam.

http://www.cartoonscrapbook.com/01pics/hillbillybears01.jpg

[mraynrand]

^^^^ Awesomeness

[mraynrand]

I looked that up. Apparently there is a female bear named Florecita on the show:

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/d3/b7/b7/d3b7b7e1494e22ac7685dda255417619.jpg

http://orig05.deviantart.net/7f12/f/2010/300/6/c/floral_by_14_bis-d31nfik.jpg

She makes me feel kinda funny. I feel another Moral Quandry coming on...

[3irty1]

Would it take more than a tractor and chain to just rip this pole back out?

[Deputy Nutz]

It's the principalities nigga

[Deputy Nutz]

How dead are the two employees that crashed?

[Harlan Huckleby]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDnlU6rPfwY

[red]

after reading this story, i think we should rename the characters in it to more accurately reflect them

the person living in the middle who is telling the story should be know as hillbilly A

the hillbilly in the story should be hillbilly B

and the asshole should be hillbilly 1 (name adjusted for known hillbilly alphabet and number characters)

[SkinBasket]

How dead are the two employees that crashed?

Both those motherfuckers were walking around 2 days later. Their faces are all fucked up from hitting the tree, but I bet someone's regretting having each of them separately air lifted to CIN.

[Deputy Nutz]

That is hell of a worker's comp case