Trouble Dump

[SkinBasket]

I think it would be helpful to have a place where we can all relieve our troubles. NOt real troubles, like I'm dying of butt AIDS, or my wife is leaving me (we already had that once, as I recall), but the kind of shit that makes your day or week a bigger pain in the ass than it was supposed to be. That way, we can all know that we aren't alone, that other people's days suck too. Kind of the opposite of a prayer circle.

I'll start. My kids has an amoxicillin rash and my wife's rear driver tire has a slow leak.

Both of these event were unplanned, unwanted, and cost me hours of my time I would rather spend masturbating or whatever.

So please, open up and share. As woodbuck says, we're all here for each other, right? Let's use each other to bring each other down and wallow a little.

[Harlan Huckleby]

Nobody knows the trouble I've seen
Nobody knows but Jesus

[Joemailman]

Trouble in the city, trouble in the farm
You got your rabbit's foot, you got your good-luck charm
But they can't help you, none when there's trouble

Trouble, trouble
Trouble, trouble
Nothin' but trouble

Trouble in the water, trouble in the air
Go all the way to the other side of the world
You'll find trouble there
Revolution even ain't no solution for trouble

Trouble, trouble
Trouble, trouble
Nothin' but trouble

Drought and starvation, packaging of the soul
Persecution, execution, governments out of control
You can see the writing on the wall, inviting trouble

Trouble, trouble
Trouble, trouble
Nothin' but trouble

Put your ear to the train tracks, put your ear to the ground
You ever feel like you're never alone even when
There's nobody else around?
Since the beginning of the universe man's been cursed by trouble

Trouble, trouble
Trouble, trouble
Nothin' but trouble

Nightclubs of the broken-hearted, stadiums of the damned
Legislature, perverted nature, doors that are rudely slammed
Look into infinity, all you see is trouble

Trouble, trouble
Trouble, trouble
Nothin' but trouble

Songwriters
BOB DYLAN

[woodbuck27]

If Your Looking For Trouble by : Elvis Presley

If you're looking for trouble
You came to the right place
If you're looking for trouble
Just look right in my face
I was born standing up
And talking back
My daddy was a green-eyed mountain jack
Because I'm evil, my middle name is misery
Well I'm evil, so don't you mess around with me

I've never looked for trouble
But I've never ran
I don't take no orders
From no kind of man
I'm only made out
Of flesh, blood and bone
But if you're gonna start a rumble
Don't you try it on alone
Because I'm evil, my middle name is misery
Well I'm evil, so don't you mess around with me
I'm evil, evil, evil, as can be
I'm evil, evil, evil, as can be
So don't mess around don't mess around don't mess around with me
I'm evil, I'm evil, evil, evil
So don't mess around, don't mess around with me
I'm evil, I tell you I'm evil
So don't mess around with me
Yeah!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5e1F6EAzQY

[Cheesehead Craig]

I've got some stupid issue with my right ear. Can barely hear out of it. No infection, no fluid behind the eardrum. Just got irritated when doing a flush of the earwax. Nothing I can do but wait a month or two for it to naturally fix itself.

[wootah]

Sounds like a blockage of ear wax, Craig. Put some lukewarm vegetable oil in it. Good luck.

Edit: is advice allowed in the trouble dump or is it just a place to lament?

[SkinBasket]

Advice is preferred to people posting annoying lyrics like they do in every other thread is this shithole.

[Deputy Nutz]

I'm tired

[hoosier]

My hamstring hurts. Not the muscle itself but the tendon that connects the muscle to the hipbone. I have to get up and walk around the office every half hour or it tightens up. It is truly and literally a giant pain in the ass.

[SkinBasket]

I'm tired


Me too.

[SkinBasket]

I have to build a chicken coop and run this week or next. But first I have to cut down a couple trees. But first I have to move a rabbit hutch. But first I have to grease the tractor.

Seems there's always a dozen things you have to do to even start doing the thing you're supposed to do.

[Zool]

I have arthritis in both knees now. Fuck

[Deputy Nutz]

I have to build a chicken coop and run this week or next. But first I have to cut down a couple trees. But first I have to move a rabbit hutch. But first I have to grease the tractor.

Seems there's always a dozen things you have to do to even start doing the thing you're supposed to do.

Are you building a new chicken coop or adding on? You have lots of chickens. Whats with the rabbits? Are you going to eat them?

[SkinBasket]

Are you building a new chicken coop or adding on? You have lots of chickens. Whats with the rabbits? Are you going to eat them?

I don't have rabbits. I might later, but the hutch was here before we got here because those fat welfare hillbillies ate rabbits. We're adding on again, on the other side of the original coop, since I only have two fence panels left.

[Harlan Huckleby]

Advice is preferred to people posting annoying lyrics like they do in every other thread is this shithole.

I advise you to shove it up your ass.

[Harlan Huckleby]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LI_Oe-jtgdI

[SkinBasket]

I advise you to shove it up your ass.

My day was going well, but now I have some bully stalking me.

[Cheesehead Craig]

My day was going well, but now I have some bully stalking me.

Just hide in the chicken coop.

[Deputy Nutz]

Fucking ACT testing at school the past few days has me in the dumps

[MadtownPacker]

Just hide in the chicken coop.
http://youtu.be/ziTNiVAOHJk

[MadtownPacker]

My shoulder is all fucked up. Can't raise my arm over my head or move it quickly. Probably a torn rotator or some shit. Don't want to pay my deductible to get it fixed.

[woodbuck27]

My shoulder is all fucked up. Can't raise my arm over my head or move it quickly. Probably a torn rotator or some shit. Don't want to pay my deductible to get it fixed.

Mad. That's a serious injury that takes forever it seemed to me to Rehab. You have to go slow. Try first to get your flexibility back.

You get it stronger and wham something sets it back.

[woodbuck27]

Sounds like a blockage of ear wax, Craig. Put some lukewarm vegetable oil in it. Good luck.

Edit: is advice allowed in the trouble dump or is it just a place to lament?

Advice has to be gentle.

[woodbuck27]

Advice is preferred to people posting annoying lyrics like they do in every other thread is this shithole.

OK


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5e1F6EAzQY

[woodbuck27]

Just hide in the chicken coop.

Better .....what does this suggest?

https://s3.amazonaws.com/lowres.cartoonstock.com/myths-legends-love_triangle-bermuda_triangle-sci_fi-science_fiction-missing_persons-jcen64_low.jpg

OK I'll help.....substitute the name SkinBasket for .... 'Bill'.

[hoosier]

My shoulder is all fucked up. Can't raise my arm over my head or move it quickly. Probably a torn rotator or some shit. Don't want to pay my deductible to get it fixed.

You need to cultivate a mild accident on the road, their fault, just bad enough to cause some structural damage in the shoulder. Make it someone driving an Audi, less chance of finding an underensured driver. It would be better if you could stage a bike accident (great shoulder wreckers!) but those can be more difficult to control (great head wreckers too!).

[wootah]

Maybe 3irty1 can hook you up with some quality fish antibiotics?

[Deputy Nutz]

My shoulder is all fucked up. Can't raise my arm over my head or move it quickly. Probably a torn rotator or some shit. Don't want to pay my deductible to get it fixed.

Get a cortisone shot

[SkinBasket]

My shoulder is all fucked up. Can't raise my arm over my head or move it quickly. Probably a torn rotator or some shit. Don't want to pay my deductible to get it fixed.

I did that once. It took a couple months. Just stretch as much as possible to dissuade scar growth and use slight resistance exercises to keep strength. Stop masturbating.

[MadtownPacker]

You need to cultivate a mild accident on the road, their fault, just bad enough to cause some structural damage in the shoulder. Make it someone driving an Audi, less chance of finding an underensured driver. It would be better if you could stage a bike accident (great shoulder wreckers!) but those can be more difficult to control (great head wreckers too!).Thanks a lot ahole. Now the insurance investigator will find the cached page of you telling me to commit fraud. Probably the best advice I am going to get from you honkies and you fucked it up.

[MadtownPacker]

Maybe 3irty1 can hook you up with some quality fish antibiotics?Is that some hipster shit? Does it get you high?

[MadtownPacker]

I did that once. It took a couple months. Just stretch as much as possible to dissuade scar growth and use slight resistance exercises to keep strength. Stop masturbating.I am right handed and its my left, don't make me sue your ass for malpractice and alienation of affection. I do the stretching but it feel like I should just chainsaw it off and 3D print a new arm. Same as those dogs you see on the feel good stories.

[MadtownPacker]

Get a cortisone shot
See that's what I'm taking about mofos!!!! Nutty knows what every patient really wants.

To get doped up!

[Zool]

Stop masturbating.

Stop staring in my windows at night and you won't have to watch.

[Freak Out]

My shoulder is all fucked up. Can't raise my arm over my head or move it quickly. Probably a torn rotator or some shit. Don't want to pay my deductible to get it fixed.

I had two tears in my right rotator cuff, a torn labrum and a shitload of bone spurs repaired in my right shoulder in November. It's a long fucking rehab. Feeling much better now but still months of PT ahead. At least shop your insurance for a cheap MRI and someone to evaluate it/you. Cortisone does nothing but fuck you up.

[MadtownPacker]

I had two tears in my right rotator cuff, a torn labrum and a shitload of bone spurs repaired in my right shoulder in November. It's a long fucking rehab. Feeling much better now but still months of PT ahead. At least shop your insurance for a cheap MRI and someone to evaluate it/you. Cortisone does nothing but fuck you up.
How about lines of freshly cut snow? We get the clean one around here.

[SkinBasket]

I'm supposed to paint a room today. I hate fucking painting. And of course I'm covering up high gloss shit brown, so it's gonna take two coats and then some.

On a related note, I painted a boat with fibered aluminum paint yesterday. It's a bad idea to use an old utility hook in a drill to mix that stuff, but on the other hand having silver boots is kind of neat.

[Deputy Nutz]

I had two tears in my right rotator cuff, a torn labrum and a shitload of bone spurs repaired in my right shoulder in November. It's a long fucking rehab. Feeling much better now but still months of PT ahead. At least shop your insurance for a cheap MRI and someone to evaluate it/you. Cortisone does nothing but fuck you up.

I have taken 5 of them in the left shoulder, none in the last 10 years, but when you really like playing football it does wonders. Also if the rotator cuff is not completely torn the cortisone does help relieve the swelling.

[Deputy Nutz]

I'm supposed to paint a room today. I hate fucking painting. And of course I'm covering up high gloss shit brown, so it's gonna take two coats and then some.

On a related note, I painted a boat with fibered aluminum paint yesterday. It's a bad idea to use an old utility hook in a drill to mix that stuff, but on the other hand having silver boots is kind of neat.

Your boots are sexy

[Deputy Nutz]

3 bomb threats on consecutive days really blows.

[MadtownPacker]

I'm supposed to paint a room today. I hate fucking painting. And of course I'm covering up high gloss shit brown, so it's gonna take two coats and then some.

On a related note, I painted a boat with fibered aluminum paint yesterday. It's a bad idea to use an old utility hook in a drill to mix that stuff, but on the other hand having silver boots is kind of neat.Damn, no illegal Messicans where you live to do it for cheap? You gotta use that paint and primer mix shit to cover in one coat.

[Patler]

I'm supposed to paint a room today. I hate fucking painting. And of course I'm covering up high gloss shit brown, so it's gonna take two coats and then some.


Just look for a few rolls of a similar color contact paper. Your wife will never know.

[Freak Out]

3 bomb threats on consecutive days really blows.

WTF? You are a teacher right?

[Iron Mike]

Damn, no illegal Messicans where you live to do it for cheap? You gotta use that paint and primer mix shit to cover in one coat.

https://media.giphy.com/media/TWhOmZ783UrwA/giphy.gif

[Deputy Nutz]

WTF? You are a teacher right?

Yep.

[MadtownPacker]

I'm still waiting for an article about some WI substitute teacher who choked out some smart ass student who didn't put their cellphone away.

[woodbuck27]

I'm still waiting for an article about some WI substitute teacher who choked out some smart ass student who didn't put their cellphone away.

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/sMUxFZVN8WE/maxresdefault.jpg

So ...should I consider that as a threat?

[SkinBasket]

Our FedEx guy seems to think delivering in the hills on Saturdays is an optional part of his job. Now I have to spend most likely hours on the phone with some sand nigger to file a complaint and a claim for the box of perishable food that was supposed to be delivered Saturday and is now on track for Tuesday. Typical union fuck.

[Joemailman]

Our FedEx guy seems to think delivering in the hills on Saturdays is an optional part of his job. Now I have to spend most likely hours on the phone with some sand nigger to file a complaint and a claim for the box of perishable food that was supposed to be delivered Saturday and is now on track for Tuesday. Typical union fuck.

Except Fed Ex drivers aren't unionized.

[call_me_ishmael]

So much for the free market eh? USPS would have that shizzle there on time.

[SkinBasket]

Except Fed Ex drivers aren't unionized.

Yeah, I forgot that. They're "contractors." Which means when you talk to the manager of your local center, about all they can say is, "You'll have to file a complaint at the corporate level. They aren't my employees."

Anyway, apparently this guy was legitimately sick and is a different contractor than the lying fuck face who didn't deliver (but claimed he attempted delivery) last time. I have to say, FedEx complaint reps were a lot more responsive than I expected. Probably because they're American employees of FedEx, and not some Hindu script zombie with some ridiculous white guy name.

I think the driver is upset with me now. He wouldn't look me in the eye when he dropped something off a couple days ago.

[Deputy Nutz]

I wasn't feeling good.

[SkinBasket]

Fuck, you buy something an the fucking faggots selling it to you act like they're doing you a favor. Now they're making excuses why they can't deliver it and I'm just about ready to allow the cracks in my veneer of patience to spread unchecked. I don't like getting angry at people, but these fucking morons need a knee to the nuts. Or new jobs.

[Deputy Nutz]

Does your voice squeak when you get mad?

[SkinBasket]

I usually remain too calm, almost comatose, and if anything just stop responding, which makes for awkward phone exchanges. I cut off all emotion when having these conversations, but it's exhausting because I literally detest these people who don't live up to their obligation in even the simplest ways, then act like they're working very hard to make you happy. Cunts.

[mraynrand]

If you depend on others, you will be disappointed with increasing frequency.

[SkinBasket]

That's why I hate buying things that I can't just take with me. Seems they tend to forget about you the second you leave.

[SkinBasket]

It's hot. I have to check our perimeter woven wire fence for damage so the cows and donkey won't go on the gay guy's lawn. And I'm out of milk, and only have a couple hours before the eclipse.

[HowardRoark]

I have arthritis in both knees now. Fuck

I think I do too. At least my right one. Have always been able to run; have been running half marathons up
Until a couple years ago. Started running in June again and now can barely use right leg. Been loading up on ibuprofen lately. Was hiking 8 mile days last week up and down canyons at Zion and Grand Canyon...so maybe it's not arthritis. Just need to lose weight

[texaspackerbacker]

I got a nail in a tire on my 2016 Elantra Sunday. I went to change it, checked the spare, and found out they don't put a spare tire in the car, just an air compresser - tricky foreigners. It worked fine, though - filled it up and drove it, filled it up again in the driveway Monday before getting it plugged. And it saved me a sore back from undoing the lug nuts. I guess if it had been a blow out or otherwise damaged beyond holding air, I'd have been screwed.

[mraynrand]

you bought a new car and didn't know it doesn't have a spare?

[hoosier]

I suspect I have a rat den in the backyard near the damned chicken coop that the wife got for the kids. When you see a rat or two scurrying around out there you just know there are at least two dozen of the fuckers hunkering down below ground. Getting rid of them is going to be a giant pain in the ass. I think I may hire some high school kid to sit out there at dusk with an air rifle for a week. Anyone need a bushel of frozen rats?

[Joemailman]

I suspect I have a rat den in the backyard near the damned chicken coop that the wife got for the kids. When you see a rat or two scurrying around out there you just know there are at least two dozen of the fuckers hunkering down below ground. Getting rid of them is going to be a giant pain in the ass. I think I may hire some high school kid to sit out there at dusk with an air rifle for a week. Anyone need a bushel of frozen rats?

Hope they're not Packerrats.

[mraynrand]

Anyone need a bushel of frozen rats?

maybe if you dissect them and snap freeze the organs. Feed them some metformin and omega-3 fatty acid first. Plus, I need a control group.

[SkinBasket]

Live traps work well on rats. Then you don't have to wait for them, you just shoot them in the cage.

[hoosier]

Live traps work well on rats. Then you don't have to wait for them, you just shoot them in the cage.

Yes, but then you have to deal with the biohazard or, if you choose to let it dry out first, the stiff carcass that clings to the cage. No thanks.

[hoosier]

maybe if you dissect them and snap freeze the organs. Feed them some metformin and omega-3 fatty acid first. Plus, I need a control group.

You studying endocrine systems? I could go the Skinbasket route, live trap, and put half the population on a cheetos diet and the other half on brown rice. I don't know about the dissecting part, I don't that is sender's responsibility.

[HowardRoark]

Damn woodpecker. I thought I got rid of it...patched up the house and painted it. Now it came back. A new hole.
I live in a small Mayberry type town (Wayzata, MN) and know the chief of police. Evidently it’s a felony to discharge even a pellet gun. Once you hit a certain age you realize bad things can happen, so not willing to deal with the felony.

I need to get a new house.

[HowardRoark]

Does CarPlay ever just work? Ever since that weirdo Steve Jobs died, nothing works. Speaking of which, how about just firing all of the auto correct staff and bringing it back 5-10 years.

[call_me_ishmael]

Carplay won't ever work because it gives the vendors too much power/authority into the system. It is very unusual for Apple to go that direction, but it is step one is dabbling in re-imagining the car. Touch controls are a disaster in vehicles it turns out, expect it to liberally use voice.

The auto-correct bug in iOS 11 was pretty embarrassing and unusual. I strongly disagree on software quality decreasing. I think it's gotten a lot more stabling since they started public betas three years ago. As an extremely hardcore Apple fanboy for many years, I can pretty confidently say this.

[Anti-Polar Bear]

I am losing boatloads of frogskins playing NL Texas Hold'em.

[Rutnstrut]

Damn woodpecker. I thought I got rid of it...patched up the house and painted it. Now it came back. A new hole.
I live in a small Mayberry type town (Wayzata, MN) and know the chief of police. Evidently it’s a felony to discharge even a pellet gun. Once you hit a certain age you realize bad things can happen, so not willing to deal with the felony.

I need to get a new house.



Did you ever get rid of the woodpeckers? I have a property maintenance business and deal with them often for clients. They are after bugs in/under your siding. There are a lot of different chemicals that you apply that kill the bugs, therefore no woodpeckers after them. One of my better tactics is using the owl decoys you can buy at Fleet Farm. Hang them near where the woodpeckers are pecking. But the very first thing before any preventative is to get all the holes patched and sealed very tight. You have to keep those damn bugs out. Woodpeckers are persistent assholes. I spent a 14 hour day sealing and spraying a clients house with cedar siding last Oct. Came home to find that the little assholes had pecked a bunch of the corner guards off my aluminum siding. Yup I had the bugs in there they wanted. Killed the bugs, sealed it up, and my 15 year old daughter had a blast shooting a few that didn't get the hint.

Hell I even leave some dead and dying trees standing on my land that attract the damn bugs so the little bastards can peck there. They still attack my house.

[Freak Out]

Leave the woodpeckers alone asshole. lol

[Anti-Polar Bear]

Fuck it, I'm quitting poker cold turkey.

[Anti-Polar Bear]

Dear Rats,

It's been 5 days since I last played a hand, so it looks like I'm heading in the right direction against my poker addiction. My goal is to not play another hand til July.

[Anti-Polar Bear]

Btw, I withdrew 300 bucks from an ATM a couple of weeks ago, to play poker of course. Fucking ATM only dumped down 120. Spoke with the ATM bank and the Canadian bank that issued the card (and where my minimum-wage paychecks fly to). After "investigating" the transaction, both banks concluded that I received the correct amount.

Motherfuck! How hard does it take to pinpoint the fucking ATM and count the fucking money? Fucking ATM should be 180 bucks over! I swear to Zesus and Hades, I was short! Pissed and probably would've taken my hard-earned frogskins out of said Canadian bank already if I weren't so lazy. :mad:

[Anti-Polar Bear]

It's been 2 months since I lasted played a hand.

[mraynrand]

It's been 2 months since I lasted played a hand.

Keep trying - eventually someone will go on a date with you.

[woodbuck27]

My shoulder is all fucked up. Can't raise my arm over my head or move it quickly. Probably a torn rotator or some shit. Don't want to pay my deductible to get it fixed.

Hey Mad if you think it's a Rotator Cuff injury....... it is.

The injury takes years of therapy to heal and if it's the right shoulder you'll have difficulty reaching for the bottle of Tequila on 'a top shelf'. Keep that bottle on display on your coffee table.

[woodbuck27]

Stop staring in my windows at night and you won't have to watch.

https://www.stayathomemum.com.au/cache/860x380-0/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/buzzfranco.com_..jpg

[woodbuck27]

Get a cortisone shot

http://mediad.publicbroadcasting.net/p/vpr/files/styles/medium/public/201503/JL-Laughing-Dylan-03042015.jpg

[woodbuck27]

I'm supposed to paint a room today. I hate fucking painting. And of course I'm covering up high gloss shit brown, so it's gonna take two coats and then some.

On a related note, I painted a boat with fibered aluminum paint yesterday. It's a bad idea to use an old utility hook in a drill to mix that stuff, but on the other hand having silver boots is kind of neat.

http://investigate-nasa.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/Jim-Carrey-In-The-Truman-Show-Wallpapers-720x405.jpg

[woodbuck27]

Just look for a few rolls of a similar color contact paper. Your wife will never know.

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSMuhBjo-fEGvVCRTUml9YaUrdDuJnxr5PMQF-QfpgqvqNgxzjI

[woodbuck27]

I suspect I have a rat den in the backyard near the damned chicken coop that the wife got for the kids. When you see a rat or two scurrying around out there you just know there are at least two dozen of the fuckers hunkering down below ground. Getting rid of them is going to be a giant pain in the ass. I think I may hire some high school kid to sit out there at dusk with an air rifle for a week. Anyone need a bushel of frozen rats?

I'd recommend this guy 'the Pet Detective', before the Packers sign him to boost their WR Stable.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=poS3b2P71w0

[woodbuck27]

Dear Rats,

It's been 5 days since I last played a hand, so it looks like I'm heading in the right direction against my poker addiction. My goal is to not play another hand til July.

http://d2ydh70d4b5xgv.cloudfront.net/images/b/c/dogs-playing-poker-smoking-art-coolidge-mexican-black-velvet-oil-painting-j41-eeddeaa8d775d956b94c72d150bb64e7.jpg

When you sit down tm play it's simple and take this advice as I know it works.

Of course I've been playing for about 6 Decades but you have to know in every Poker Session that your TOP DOG.

I play `online` in Poker Lounges (Texas Holdem) in nine Countries:

Canada; Canada (French); USA; Ireland; UK; Latino; Portugal, Germany and Belgium and i never expect to lose. Play as `the Boss Dog`and À) ** be patient B) never reach and C) when you`ve got the Nuts, suck em in with reraise on `the Turn` and then drill them on `the River`.

** Every hand is simply a couple of steps and your on a nice leisurely walk (or a Session).

Watch what you push ie a straight as too often the other Dog has the over card and if you bet a straight BIG, ensure your Pockets are the two inside.

Watch for any pair in the Community crs if you didn`t trip or Pair High to hang`on the Flop and you see a strong pre Turn Bet ....Fold like it`s a rest after those two steps and look around or smell the roses. If your not in a Flushing hand high don`t pay for the look as your checking anyway.

Never ever would I advise showing your cads at hands end.

I see the Pros showing one hole card high Flop Pair.... what for... the blinds?

With strong Pockets before the Flop >>> raise them.

This is important you must acquire all the compensent skills to know your the Man To Bet' at that Table. You get there through good skills and experience and cool or you study hard. Study upgrades anyone's game as long as you don't saturate.

I see DOGS imagining their good to great Poker players and only playing for say 5-7 Years. The're my toast. Poker is like life. Experience does 'in fact' count. The your confidence is backed up.

Frankly I know I'm a Superior Poker player and know that when Lady Luck visits; you don't mess around and you take her for 'that Dance'. When that Dance and her attitude changes. Say goodbye to Lady Luck, as she'll soon say goodbye to you and holding less chips than you might have.

Set a target goal for winning each Session. If you manage to reach that level you did well and get out. Lady Luck is 'a flirt' and may like other Guys at your table really soon,

[Anti-Polar Bear]

http://d2ydh70d4b5xgv.cloudfront.net/images/b/c/dogs-playing-poker-smoking-art-coolidge-mexican-black-velvet-oil-painting-j41-eeddeaa8d775d956b94c72d150bb64e7.jpg

When you sit down tm play it's simple and take this advice as I know it works.

Of course I've been playing for about 6 Decades but you have to know in every Poker Session that your TOP DOG.

I play `online` in Poker Lounges (Texas Holdem) in nine Countries:

Canada; Canada (French); USA; Ireland; UK; Latino; Portugal, Germany and Belgium and i never expect to lose. Play as `the Boss Dog`and À) ** be patient B) never reach and C) when you`ve got the Nuts, suck em in with reraise on `the Turn` and then drill them on `the River`.

** Every hand is simply a couple of steps and your on a nice leisurely walk (or a Session).

Watch what you push ie a straight as too often the other Dog has the over card and if you bet a straight BIG, ensure your Pockets are the two inside.

Watch for any pair in the Community crs if you didn`t trip or Pair High to hang`on the Flop and you see a strong pre Turn Bet ....Fold like it`s a rest after those two steps and look around or smell the roses. If your not in a Flushing hand high don`t pay for the look as your checking anyway.

Never ever would I advise showing your cads at hands end.

I see the Pros showing one hole card high Flop Pair.... what for... the blinds?

With strong Pockets before the Flop >>> raise them.

This is important you must acquire all the compensent skills to know your the Man To Bet' at that Table. You get there through good skills and experience and cool or you study hard. Study upgrades anyone's game as long as you don't saturate.

I see DOGS imagining their good to great Poker players and only playing for say 5-7 Years. The're my toast. Poker is like life. Experience does 'in fact' count. The your confidence is backed up.

Frankly I know I'm a Superior Poker player and know that when Lady Luck visits; you don't mess around and you take her for 'that Dance'. When that Dance and her attitude changes. Say goodbye to Lady Luck, as she'll soon say goodbye to you and holding less chips than you might have.

Set a target goal for winning each Session. If you manage to reach that level you did well and get out. Lady Luck is 'a flirt' and may like other Guys at your table really soon,

Excellent advices. Thanks.

We ain't allowed to play online poker anymore in the US (maybe in New Jersey, but I live in cold, dark and dull Wisconsin). I actually regressed, and played in a tournament the other day at the local Indian casino. Took 2nd and won about 300 bucks. Spent the $ on a bunch of lap dances afterward. I'm now officially retired from poker, but at least I went out on a high note. :)