The Last jedi

[red]

discuss........

i haven't been this disappointed with a star wars movie since the phantom menace

i walked out of it just going.... huh

then the longer i had to digest it, the more i started to realize just how much i didn't like it

after the force awakens, i couldn't wait for the next one to come out, there were so many questions that needed answers. all those questions were answered in about the worst ways possible, and no new questions were answered

at this point i don't even care about the next one.

its almost like rian johnson has some kind of hatred for star wars and used this movie to shit all over all of it

[mraynrand]

I hear that Luke is a pussy. Well, he always sort of was - complaining to Leia about the loss of Ben, who he knew for all of a couple of days, after her planet got nuked. And don'e even talk about going into Toshi station for power converters...

This may be the first Star Wars I won't see in theaters. You think I would have learned after Episode II. Hey, let me tell you about sand and why I don't like it...

[ThunderDan]

I really liked.

I loved the last battle with the red salt under the white sand.

I thought the mirror scene with Rey was really dumb.

Still don’t know what to think about Yodi destroying the Jedi stuff.

[red]

there were moments that were good

just overall it didn't do much for me

[ThunderDan]

there were moments that were good

just overall it didn't do much for me

Not sure where film 9 goes from the end of 8.

[Zool]

Just got back from seeing it. It wasn’t as good as EP7, but still better than 1 2 or 3.

If you take out the boring space chase for the first 30 minutes and the casino scene it’s a really great follow up. The Jedi books were clearly shown on the flacon right at the end so Yoda only destroyed a tree to show Luke that it’s people who make up the Jedi not symbols.

The only thing other than the OJ chase scene that I didn’t like were the over abundance of jokes. Hologram Luke dusting off his shoulder was stupid.

Rey vs Kylo will be fun to watch in EP 9. That should be the theme instead of New Order vs Rebellion.

[mraynrand]

Just some thoughts after seeing this mess of a movie:

1) Ren is Ben? Some call him Kylo, some Ren, some Ben. Can people make up their minds? Where is Stimpy?
2) Passing of the guard to Emo Vader and the Millenial Falcon. These characters aren't really deep. mostly they posture and throw tantrums. It's like having to go see a movie starring my kids, fighting over who gets to drive.
3) It took Luke half of fucking episode IV to figure out the Millenial Falcon's firing system, yet Ray ray figures it out in a fews seconds and blows away tie fighters like she's playing an arcade game. I guess Millenials are good at Halo and stuff so makes sense.
4) WTF happened to tech advancement? The Millenial Falcon was old in Ep. 4-6. It should be totally ancient and easy to blow away now, right? Especially since it's a hunk of junk at the beginning of Ep 7. who made the 'special modifications?' Chewie maybe?
5) WTF with that Dern Purple Drank? If she's so goddamn smart why not a) send 3PO to drive the ship into the fleet at warp speed (win, win) or b) how about sending the ship right at the start of the chase, eh? And why the fuck couldn't she tell the Po po about her plans? It's not like he was gonna tell someone and blow the whole surprise, right? Also, he Federation has other ships right? Why not get on the horn to STARFLEET and have another ship warp in right in front of the Rumble alliance ships and blow them to shit. The plot devices are just plot devices, but it helps with suspension of disbelief if they are at least mildly plausible instead of numbingly stupid. I'm pretty sure I wrote a plot like this in the 4th grade. Maybe third.
6) WTF with the asian NHS member getting in the movie. Did she win a fan contest?
7) WTF with Chewie and the fuzzy penguins? Were they actually sentient? If so, why did Chewie murder and cook one? If not, why the fuck didn't he eat it?
8) Luke Skywalker - geebus what a loser.
7) Drunken Leia - can't they use CGI techniques to get rid of her slurred speech? I mean, I wanted them to do an intervention, except I know it's too late. Hey folks: don't wait before you commit your relatives with addictions. If Luke can use the force to transport his image across the galaxy, can't Leia use the force to make herself look slimmer and younger? If I could use the force, I'd project a full head of hair on myself. Stupid Jedi. Now you know why they're extinct.
8) Abe Vigoda reappears just to quote his old lines from episode V? I've been doing that for years for free. Maybe they could have signed me up instead of the honor roll asian chick. And I'm just as bald as Yoda so it works. Unless I use the force...
9) Vigoda's line about "a good read, it is not" or something about the 'sacred texts' was memorable, but it makes the whole Jedi religion look like a fraud. Ha ha - yeah the bible is the inspired word of God, but "skip over Numbers because you'll be bored"
10) The lightsaber battle in Snoke's chamber: Someone somewhere must have enjoyed that slaughter, but it was dreadful and boring. The conclusion, being foregone, made one focus on the fact that multiple people were being hacked to bits or immolated. I'm sure the 8 year olds were loving it.
11) BB8 in control of a walker thing slaughtering people: I'm sure this was funny or something - the crowd laughed - but it again begs the question: why have people fight and die when you can just program a medicine ball to kill things for you?
12) I can't wait until episode 10 or 15. I hopefully will be in the grave before then, but I'm certain the series won't have become even more stultifyingly boring by that time - mostly because I can't imagine it being any more boring. Is there anything at all interesting left to explore in this horrifically dull galaxy from far far away. The bad news is that the light from that galaxy will eventually reach ours. The good news is that we'll all be dead by then.

[Zool]

I'll take this one.

1. He was named after Ben Kenobi. He left the Jedi order and formed a group of evil doers called the Ren. Stimpy is still in space madness.
2. Spot on.
3. Rey is the ultimate good to fight Kylo's ultimate evil. She's been around machinery her whole life so ships etc. Weak plot device.
4. The Empire shut down tech advances for 30+ years, but the Aluminum Falcon is just for nostalgia.
5. RIGHT!? Why are they the first ones to figure out to shoot a ship through another ship at light speed? Get a freighter, point it at the Death Star, end scene.
6. And why the whole scene on the casino planet?
7. During the shooting, the crew could not keep the puffins out of the shots. They were everywhere. The bird things are actually puffins who got some CGI treatment.
8. Luke was okay. Mark Hamill is a bad actor.
9(7?) Fisher had to be on pain killers the whole time. Either that or she had a serious amount of face surgery. The only way to explain her speech.
10(8?)(How drunk are you right now?) Nostalgia. Showing even a self proclaimed master can still learn?
11. Trying to say people are the real power behind a religion not the texts. I think.
12. And why was his chambers set up like a 70's disco?
13. Bot have decision making capabilities. They would choose to not commit suicide...I guess.
14. I'm holing out hope that EP9 will be a good movie.

My own rant. Snopes is the thinnest evil boss of all time. Where did he come from? Why do we care about him living or dying? He didn't do anything discernibly evil or good. He's Darth Maul all over again. Super strong evil guy with no story who gets cut in half by not paying attention. He was clearly 100 times stronger than the people who killed him. Bah.

It's a good movie, but not great.

[red]

Why were the bombers in the beginning so fucking slow, and how do bombs “drop” in space?

The whole Finn Asian girl casino thing was a giant wast of space and time. Somehow this chick falls so insanely in love with a guy she’s nevertheless met before in a matter of hours and risks her life to stop him from giving his life to protect everyone else

It’s like the director made this movie for teenage girls. Is this the same guy that did the twilight series?

[3irty1]

Star Wars has never had the sci:fi ratio that fans would prefer which seems especially egregious in a market place with things like Westworld and Black Mirror. But fans are already fans so fuck em. There is a money tree to shake and the new films are very much about growing rather than deepening the brand. Or at least it seems that way with the coalition of women and minorities vs the evil white guys. Modern audiences lack the imagination to connect with characters that do not share an identity.

That said, there are things I liked. I actually enjoyed what they did with Rey's parents. There was no satisfying or believable way to resolve that even though its clearly what we're supposed to talk about after Force Awakens. Her confusing mirror cave scene seemed to me just a newfangled version of Luke's experience in the Dagobah cave. I enjoyed Force Awakens, but a lot of folks thought it was too cheap a knock off of A New Hope. Those same people seemed to like this one but I don't see how its any less of a ripoff of Empire Strikes Back. It starts and ends with the Rebellion running for its life. Hoth, Cloud City, and Dagobah all have their analogs and much of those scenes seemed to serve no purpose but to harken back to glory days. I fully expected the codebreaker they were seeking on the casino cloud city to be Lando. They really wasted an opportunity to kill off Leia.

What the series lacks is a great villain which was the true strength of the old films. Even the prequels got to ride a little bit of Vader's star in this sense. Despite the supersaturation of comic relief and cheesy dialog those movies had, the villains were still good: Palpatine, corrupt government, and the Vader origin story. Kylo Ren just isn't scary and with Poe Dameron cracking wise at him in ways nobody would have ever talked to Vader in the first scene of Awakens, this was clearly never the plan. I think a decent villain can still be salvaged actually with Snoke. As Zool mentioned he's thin, suspiciously thin. My theory is that he's Palpatine's old master referred to as Darth Plagueis in the prequels. His shtick if you remember was that he figured out how to stop people from dying with the force which was part of Palpatine's sales pitch to Anakin. According to Palpatine, he murdered Plagueis in his sleep and it was ironic that he couldn't save his own life with that ability. Well maybe he could. Maybe that's how he got the gnarly scar on his face. Maybe he'll glue himself back together for the next film too. At this point the Force has powercreeped so much it can explain away just about anything. Hell now that Force projection is a thing maybe Snoke wasn't even in the room.

My only other prediction is that Rey will be revealed somehow, maybe with something in the Jedi books, to be the true "chosen one" the Jedi prophesied Anakin to be. He was similarly polymathic as a mechanic, pilot, and Jedi who came from "nothing." Something is needed to explain why she's so effortlessly competent.

I think the next one can fill in the holes of this new trilogy but I'm more looking forward to the standalone spinoff movies.

[mmmdk]

I really liked.

I loved the last battle with the red salt under the white sand.

I thought the mirror scene with Rey was really dumb.

Still don’t know what to think about Yodi destroying the Jedi stuff.

For the most part I liked it. Everything with Luke, Rey & Kylo Ren was awesome. My trouble is the narrative. The b-story with Finn & Rose was really weak and with political comments; I didn't like that in a SW movie. The action scenes were great and I must conclude that Holdo is the wortst leader in the history of Star Wars - man, she blew it but redeemed herself with a very late, almost too late sacrifice.

I rate the Star Wars moviesas such:

Masterpieces:

The Empire Strikes Back
A New Hope

Great Star Wars movies:

Rogue One (oh yeah)
The Force Awakens
The Return of the Jedi

Good SW movies:

The Last Jedi
The Return of the Sith

Mediocre Star Wars:

Attack of the Clones

Bad Star Wars:

The Phantom menace (except for lightsaber duels)

[mraynrand]

Star Wars has never had the sci:fi ratio that fans would prefer which seems especially egregious in a market place with things like Westworld and Black Mirror. But fans are already fans so fuck em. There is a money tree to shake and the new films are very much about growing rather than deepening the brand. Or at least it seems that way with the coalition of women and minorities vs the evil white guys. Modern audiences lack the imagination to connect with characters that do not share an identity.

That said, there are things I liked. I actually enjoyed what they did with Rey's parents. There was no satisfying or believable way to resolve that even though its clearly what we're supposed to talk about after Force Awakens. Her confusing mirror cave scene seemed to me just a newfangled version of Luke's experience in the Dagobah cave. I enjoyed Force Awakens, but a lot of folks thought it was too cheap a knock off of A New Hope. Those same people seemed to like this one but I don't see how its any less of a ripoff of Empire Strikes Back. It starts and ends with the Rebellion running for its life. Hoth, Cloud City, and Dagobah all have their analogs and much of those scenes seemed to serve no purpose but to harken back to glory days. I fully expected the codebreaker they were seeking on the casino cloud city to be Lando. They really wasted an opportunity to kill off Leia.

What the series lacks is a great villain which was the true strength of the old films. Even the prequels got to ride a little bit of Vader's star in this sense. Despite the supersaturation of comic relief and cheesy dialog those movies had, the villains were still good: Palpatine, corrupt government, and the Vader origin story. Kylo Ren just isn't scary and with Poe Dameron cracking wise at him in ways nobody would have ever talked to Vader in the first scene of Awakens, this was clearly never the plan. I think a decent villain can still be salvaged actually with Snoke. As Zool mentioned he's thin, suspiciously thin. My theory is that he's Palpatine's old master referred to as Darth Plagueis in the prequels. His shtick if you remember was that he figured out how to stop people from dying with the force which was part of Palpatine's sales pitch to Anakin. According to Palpatine, he murdered Plagueis in his sleep and it was ironic that he couldn't save his own life with that ability. Well maybe he could. Maybe that's how he got the gnarly scar on his face. Maybe he'll glue himself back together for the next film too. At this point the Force has powercreeped so much it can explain away just about anything. Hell now that Force projection is a thing maybe Snoke wasn't even in the room.

My only other prediction is that Rey will be revealed somehow, maybe with something in the Jedi books, to be the true "chosen one" the Jedi prophesied Anakin to be. He was similarly polymathic as a mechanic, pilot, and Jedi who came from "nothing." Something is needed to explain why she's so effortlessly competent.

I think the next one can fill in the holes of this new trilogy but I'm more looking forward to the standalone spinoff movies.


your attempt to make sense of this piece of shit movie is far more interesting than the movie.

[Deputy Nutz]

Were any of the movies any good? The dialog and the writing was never the strongest. The issue is a bunch of middle age fucks fell in love with the first 3 movies when they were just finishing up their wetting the bed stage of adolescence and now they are critiquing the current Star Wars with their adult brain. The coolest thing about Star Wars was the special effects, and this movie was quite powerful in that regard.

The number one issue in this series, and it has already been said is that Kylo Ren is not a super villain. I don't like that the writers invented Snoke out of thin air, with no mention of him being a Sith Lord. The story lines have already been written in the Star Wars fiction series of books. No reason to just invent shitty villains. Especially Villains that can't hold a candle to Luke's control of the force. Bullshit that Kylo Ren brought a hut down on Luke, doesn't happen.

As I sat in the theater I was entertained by the movie, but like all other assholes I start pulling the movie apart afterwards and deflate the movie.

[mraynrand]

I disagree about episodes 4-6 being nostalgia-driven. At the time, they were spectacular because of their novelty and their story lines. The themes are simple and capture the imagination. The characters are interesting, accessible, relatable.

Ep. 4 - Underdog with emerging powers goes up against impossible odds and wins. Precocious, petulant Princess is someone to fight for - someone to go into the lions den to rescue. Rogue pilot has a heart of gold, but delights us with his "I don't have to take shit from anyone" attitude. Main character is like us - wants a better life, is willing to help, but nervous and inexperienced. Cute and annoying robot side-kicks have decent human traits of loyalty and earnestness, essential for victory. Walking carpet and an array of other characters are delightful and interesting. Opposition is pure evil - gloats about weaponry, manipulates, assaults, and tortures enemies - casually blows up a planet - a frickin' planet. Ultimate evil lair is the size of a small moon. Holy crap!

Ep. 5 - same characters on the run, facing impossible odds. Powers of protagonist explained, expanded, harnessed by a wise rodent. Nemesis emerges in all his evil glory and exposes internal flaws and contradictions in protagonist. Main characters grow and reveal loves and nobility.

Ep. 6 Final battle. Incest revealed - ew. Unexpected allies thwart the carefully planned machinations of supreme evil lord, just when all seems lost. Ultimate evil is defeated by Evil turned good, on the knife-edge of the faith of a loyal, incorruptible son. Love wins. Bears hug. Dead people re-appear as holograms via cheap LCD projector.

Now try to do the same for the other episodes.

[3irty1]

Masterpieces:

The Empire Strikes Back
A New Hope

Great Star Wars movies:

Rogue One (oh yeah)
The Force Awakens
The Return of the Jedi

Good SW movies:

The Last Jedi
The Return of the Sith

Mediocre Star Wars:

Attack of the Clones

Bad Star Wars:

The Phantom menace (except for lightsaber duels)

I mean I have to grade these on a curve, because a bad star wars movie is still a good movie. Here's my ranking:

1 Empire Strikes Back
2 New Hope
3 Return of the Jedi
4 Force Awakens
5 Phantom Menace
6 The Return of the Sith
7 Rogue One
8 The Last Jedi
9 Attack of the Clones

Not a popular order so I'll justify some. Attack of the Clones is the worst Star Wars because Hayden Christensen and that dialog annoys me far more than Jar Jar Binks ever could the whole thing could have been replaced with the yellow text at the beginning of episode III. Episode 1 has the best sound track, the best lightsaber fight, and an exceptional action scene (podrace). Lots of original stuff was created. I didn't care about anything that happened to anyone in Rogue One. I thought the funny droid was funny but really it seemed like a long winded excuse to make that awesome Vader Scene at the end.

[Zool]

Pod racing alone made Ep 1 suck. It was about 30 minutes of screen time for what? To show the kid was a good pilot and mechanic? Could have been done in 5 minutes.

I’m curious why you rank Rogue One so low? It’s pretty universally well liked by even non-Star Wars fans.

Seriously Pod racing. Opening day in the theater I was annoyed through that whole scene. Theres not a single thing in EP 1 that drives the saga forward. They introduce a super fighting with who ends up dying to an apprentice because he wasn’t paying attention? We have tons of political drama, and a trade federation who blocks trade. That whole movie is a jumble of partial plots that are all terrible.

Gungans van breath under water, yet they live in bubbles. Evolution really ducked that one up.
A ridiculously forced relationship with the Naboo that made no sense. They never described why they were adversaries.
Qui Gon Jin is a Jedi master bound to a code that he rarely follows. He cheated at dice, used mind powers to alter decisions. Then he died.
Padme was a bad character too. And the 6 year old falls in love with her? What 6 year old has that sort of thought process?
Midichlorians? Really? Blood parasites give you force? Can they be injected? Can I eat a daily vitamin to boost my force?

EP 1 is a bad movie by any measure of a movie. Acting, plot, pacing, direction, cohesion. It felt like a movie to sell toys to kids.

[Zool]

Also the Vader scene at the end of Rogue One was written and filmed at the last minute.

[red]

Also the Vader scene at the end of Rogue One was written and filmed at the last minute.

that one scene, to me, made up for the entire prequel trilogy

lucas wanted to make anakin out to be the most bad ass person to ever live, instead he made him out to be a douche bag little pussy

rogue one fixed that

i would go

empire
new hope
rogue one
force awakens
jedi
episode 3
attack of the clones
episode 1 shitshow

and even though they are cartoons, the clone wars series and rebels are both really good

[mraynrand]

1 Empire Strikes Back
2 New Hope
3 Return of the Jedi
4 Rogue One

This is my list. Rogue One is a better movie in many respects than 'Return' but I ranked it lower because of 1) Emperor and 2) completion of the trilogy. The prequels collectively are an abomination.

[mraynrand]

Also the Vader scene at the end of Rogue One was written and filmed at the last minute.

It was the weakest scene in the movie

[Zool]

It was the weakest scene in the movie

Agreed. It was a fan boy jerk off moment and I loved every second of it. Except the horrible CGI face on Leia.

[Zool]

Well since everyone else is doing it and I’m a follower

Empire
New Hope
Jedi
Rogue One
Force Awakens
Last Jedi

The other 3 were terribly thought out and not entertaining at all. I could, and have, dissect every one of them explaining why I hate them, but that much typing on a tablet is cumbersome.

As I walked out of the theater for TLJ, I said “this will be the worst of the new 3 but still 1000% better than the prequels”.

[3irty1]

It was the weakest scene in the movie

I'll raise you every scene with Forest Whitaker's character. Lies! Deceptions! Bor Gullet will know the Truth!

[3irty1]

Pod racing alone made Ep 1 suck. It was about 30 minutes of screen time for what? To show the kid was a good pilot and mechanic? Could have been done in 5 minutes.

I’m curious why you rank Rogue One so low? It’s pretty universally well liked by even non-Star Wars fans.

Seriously Pod racing. Opening day in the theater I was annoyed through that whole scene. Theres not a single thing in EP 1 that drives the saga forward. They introduce a super fighting with who ends up dying to an apprentice because he wasn’t paying attention? We have tons of political drama, and a trade federation who blocks trade. That whole movie is a jumble of partial plots that are all terrible.

Gungans van breath under water, yet they live in bubbles. Evolution really ducked that one up.
A ridiculously forced relationship with the Naboo that made no sense. They never described why they were adversaries.
Qui Gon Jin is a Jedi master bound to a code that he rarely follows. He cheated at dice, used mind powers to alter decisions. Then he died.
Padme was a bad character too. And the 6 year old falls in love with her? What 6 year old has that sort of thought process?
Midichlorians? Really? Blood parasites give you force? Can they be injected? Can I eat a daily vitamin to boost my force?

EP 1 is a bad movie by any measure of a movie. Acting, plot, pacing, direction, cohesion. It felt like a movie to sell toys to kids.

Its true you can just not watch Ep 1 and miss basically nothing in the saga except that Anakin built C3PO which isn't important. Being prequels the characters need little in the way of introductions. George Lucas in his ripe old age had tumors pressing on the cheesy centers of the brain which is apparent through all the prequels although none are half as bad as what he did to Indiana Jones. The internet acts as if Episode 1 is some kind of Rocky 5. Its not even close to that.

Ep 1 was the first day back from a long SW vacation. It established the world of the prequels which added a lot of novelty. It really did crush it in the sound track department and introduced the world to choreographed lightsaber fights. Breakthrough shit. The Podrace while admittedly a giant lucas film special effects commercial was the first piece of surround sound I remember hearing that made me look over my shoulder. Actually its the only piece of surround sound I remember being like that. I was a kid when I saw it. Went with my little brother and it was the first SW movie released during our lifetimes. To this day my brother and I will say in our best Watto voice "Mind tricks don't work on me... only money." Ha. Classic.

If you want to go snooping for plotholes none of these movies hold up particularly well. I thought it went without saying why normal people might not get along with Gungans. As for Rogue One, I've gathered that people prefer it to Awakens but I'm not sure why. I guess it was cool to see original series era aesthetic again. The Vader scene was the best part of the movie.

[Zool]

Ahh so you have the nostalgia factor for EP1. I get that. I have the same thing for Empire and Jedi. EP1 to me was made for kids and marketed to adults.

Also midichlorians. Completely unforgivable “fuck you” to the original 3.

[3irty1]

Ahh so you have the nostalgia factor for EP1. I get that. I have the same thing for Empire and Jedi. EP1 to me was made for kids and marketed to adults.

Also midichlorians. Completely unforgivable “fuck you” to the original 3.

I've never been able to summon the righteous disgust for midichlorians that some fans do. I suppose they see it as a retcon that spoils our previous concept of the Force and somehow cheapens the mysticism of it with a crappy science explanation. I don't actually see anything incompatible about it. The Force is an energy field surrounding all living things. Midichlorians are the force sensitive critters that reside in the cells of all living things and work as a source of revelation to the contemplative Jedi or whatever. The Force as a fantastical energy is totally conserved so where is the problem?

In JW Rinzler's The Making of Star Wars: The Definative Story Behind the Original Film Lucas is shown to have had the concept and language of midichlorians back when writing the original Trilogy. For the story of Anakin its pretty useful to have a device for measuring the potential of a force user. I liked the idea of there being a sort of Jedi library of Alexandria that was lost with the death of the order. In those prequels seeing Jedi in robes doing things we'd never seen them do before and knowing things like how to measure Midichlorians really shows what a Jedi dark age Luke inhabits.

[mraynrand]

I've never been able to summon the righteous disgust for midichlorians that some fans do. I suppose they see it as a retcon that spoils our previous concept of the Force and somehow cheapens the mysticism of it with a crappy science explanation.

Pretty much. And quantifying the force and thereby 'ranking' powers like some bad Yugio GX cartoon my kids would watch. "This kid's midichlorians count is higher than even master Yoda's! He also has a bigger penis."

P.S. if Vaders' midi count was higher than Yoda's, why didn't he wield the electric bolts like Yoda? See - all this wrangling leads you down the path of arguing over stupid and arbitrary power level crap. They killed the magic and mystery of the story. Also, Greedo shot first.

[Zool]

Pretty much. And quantifying the force and thereby 'ranking' powers like some bad Yugio GX cartoon my kids would watch. "This kid's midichlorians count is higher than even master Yoda's! He also has a bigger penis."

P.S. if Vaders' midi count was higher than Yoda's, why didn't he wield the electric bolts like Yoda? See - all this wrangling leads you down the path of arguing over stupid and arbitrary power level crap. They killed the magic and mystery of the story. Also, Greedo shot first.

If you and I don’t stop agreeing on shit lately, we might have to get a beer together.

Jedi should be able to sense force acuity not measure it with a dip stick like oil. Weak writing over and over again in the prequels. Force Jesus says yippee 8 times in EP1. Just terrible acting and directing. Grown Anikan is a whiny bitch. Then just magically become Darth Vader?
Padme loses the will do live after giving birth to her first kids? What the effing ef.

[Cheesehead Craig]

Can we do some MST3K treatment to the next Star Wars movie (or one of them) with some of you and post that video on here? Have 3 of you watch it at the same time online and just have some video cams of you making smartass comments throughout? Because that would be fun as hell.

[mraynrand]

Can we do some MST3K treatment to the next Star Wars movie (or one of them) with some of you and post that video on here? Have 3 of you watch it at the same time online and just have some video cams of you making smartass comments throughout? Because that would be fun as hell.

I'm on board for "I've Found them, Repeat I've Found them. Zev Senesca: A Star Wars Story"

[3irty1]

Pretty much. And quantifying the force and thereby 'ranking' powers like some bad Yugio GX cartoon my kids would watch. "This kid's midichlorians count is higher than even master Yoda's! He also has a bigger penis."

P.S. if Vaders' midi count was higher than Yoda's, why didn't he wield the electric bolts like Yoda? See - all this wrangling leads you down the path of arguing over stupid and arbitrary power level crap. They killed the magic and mystery of the story. Also, Greedo shot first.

Its a well known sign of bad writing to tell rather than show so I'll have to agree with you about the force dick measuring contest. Its bad story telling although hardly a low point in the prequels. Canonically I have no problem with midichlorians.

Its clearly only a measure of potential rather than ability. I assume Vader's weakness to lightning has something to do with his reliance on a life support suit.

[mraynrand]

31, I assume you've seen the Red Letter Media reviews of Episode I and so on ("Mr. Plinkett"). They are NSFW vulgar and disturbing in part, but are right on the money.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FxKtZmQgxrI

[mraynrand]

Well, Episode 8 managed to put this final knife into ToysRUs. Aisles and isles of 150, 250 dollar pieces of crap that no kid wants to play with ever. Who wants to play with a Rey action figure that looks like Liam Neeson?

god that movie was awful, and now apparently they are putting it on plastic so people can watch it in their basements on this 4X crap whatever that is. Here's a clue - no amount of tech is gonna make up for crappy writing and plotting and people who never smile about anything ever - except maybe for stupid lame jokes that are totally inappropriate to the scene. And Red Sand - that was cool. Except it wasn't. P.S. Luke may have save the Jedi books, but they were actually Myst books about the D'ni. They are so boring that if any Jedis are left they will Hari Kari and let the remaining Snokes who haven't been split in two take over because - who wants to run this stupid galaxy anyway?

[red]

i didn't hate it as much the second time

but it was still pretty corny and shit on a lot of things

there was just an interview with simon pegg where he mentions that JJ abrams DID have a plan for reys parents, but the new dipshit decided the everyone can use the force, and having the main starwars movies no longer be about the skywalker family

[woodbuck27]

Its a well known sign of bad writing to tell rather than show so I'll have to agree with you about the force dick measuring contest. Its bad story telling although hardly a low point in the prequels. Canonically I have no problem with midichlorians.

Its clearly only a measure of potential rather than ability. I assume Vader's weakness to lightning has something to do with his reliance on a life support suit.

https://screenrant.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Darth-Vader-weaknesses.jpg


aaaarrrrfff !I hate that !... Mommie ?

[mraynrand]

NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooo!

[mraynrand]

This new movie is gonna totally suck


But the latest installment, “Solo: A Star Wars Story,” due out May 25, upstaged them all when the production veered off the rails so spectacularly that it forced filming to grind to a halt after four months. With mere weeks left on the shooting schedule, producer Kathleen Kennedy fired directors Phil Lord and Christopher Miller and hired veteran Ron Howard to right the ship.

[HarveyWallbangers]

1 Star Wars
2 The Empire Strikes Back

3 The Force Awakens
4 The Last Jedi
5 Rogue One

6 Revenge Of The Sith
7 Return Of The Jedi

8 Attack Of The Clones
9 The Phantom Menace

[ThunderDan]

Going to Solo on Saturday. I can't wait.

[Zool]

Going to Solo on Saturday. I can't wait.

Went lastnight. Loved it

[mraynrand]

Went lastnight. Loved it

excellent review

[Zool]

excellent review

Thanks. Ebert called me from the great beyond the other day. We're going to do a show.

It's hard to review a movie like this without spoilers, but just for you I'll give it a go.

Great action scenes, enough nods to the past movies without being over the top obvious. All of the vague stories Han tells in 4,5, and 6 are fleshed out. It is truly an origin story of Han Solo, from his time growing up, to meeting Chewie and Lando, to getting the Falcon. There was one gratuitous CGI scene that could easily have been left out.

All in all, great action film set in the Star Wars universe. I put it on par with Rogue One.

[mraynrand]

If there isn't a scene where Chewie literally pulls some guy's arm out of it's socket, the movie is a fail.

[mraynrand]

Thanks. Ebert called me from the great beyond the other day. We're going to do a show.

Two thumbs WAAAAAYYYY up!

[Zool]

If there isn't a scene where Chewie literally pulls some guy's arm out of it's socket, the movie is a fail.

Like I said, spoilers.

[mraynrand]

Like I said, spoilers.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmcrreUVBeo

[Freak Out]

I saw it today...enjoyed it and thought it was much better than the Last Jedi. Hated pretty much every fucking trailer I saw. 15-20 minutes of visual and sonic overload.

Love Python. "The goats gone poo!"

[red]

is the dude believable as young han?

harrison ford owned that character, its gonna be weird seeing someone else's face, voice and mannerisms in that role

[Freak Out]

Great casting. It worked.

[red]

saw solo, liked it a lot

liked the story, liked how they cleared up the kessel run debate.

can't wait for solo 2. hopefully maul redeems himself

[Anti-Polar Bear]

4 out of 5 stars. Not sure if the Mother of Dragons is a heroine or a villain.

[George Cumby]

First 20 minutes I was rolling my eyes.

Then the WW1 battle with lasers, at-st’s and tie fighters scene.

Thumbs up.

More Chewie dismemberments please.

[mraynrand]

https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/heat-vision/solo-will-post-first-loss-disneys-star-wars-empire-1116927

Solo basically tanked. Some articles I've seen have it losing up to $250 million.

I see that they are trying to can Kennedy for ruining Star Wars, but they can't find anyone willing to take over, because she shat the bed so bad that there is nothing left to work with. Episode IX is left with the smoldering wreckage of the Star Wars universe. Luke was a pussy and died, Yoda turned into a book burner, Leia and Han are dead or CGI spacefaring creatures I guess. And they killed the chemistry between Rey and the Storm Trooper. Hey, at least they have that NHS/Class president asian girl - maybe the whole next movie can be about her - maybe she can wield several newly minted and creatively colored light sabers (how about a rainbow colored saber)! Fun! Meaningful!

Honestly, there is no character I care about or circumstance/conflict I am interested in seeing resolved in Episode IX. I suspect a lot of other people are thinking the same thing, maybe even JJ Abrams. Is there an extra Death Star hanging around somewhere that they can blow up?

[red]

yeah, the last jedi really fucked up the whole thing

jj set up some really great possible story lines that got everyone excited, and the new guy came in and shit all over everything, he basically wrapped every story up in a big lame ass ending

maybe episode 9 will start with episode 8 being just a bad dream?

solo, was a solid movie, but solo was an iconic character because of harrison ford, you take him out of the equation and you don't have solo imo. that combined with the odd release date (going up against avengers, coming so soon after the fuck up of episode 8), and you have a recipe for a flop

i do think solo will go on to be one of the better films in the series, but only f they are allowed to finish the arch

you guys have seen that because of the flop of solo, disney has canceled all plans for future star wars spin offs. even though rouge one and solo were both solid movies better then the shit that was episode 8

[red]

https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/heat-vision/solo-will-post-first-loss-disneys-star-wars-empire-1116927

Solo basically tanked. Some articles I've seen have it losing up to $250 million.

I see that they are trying to can Kennedy for ruining Star Wars, but they can't find anyone willing to take over, because she shat the bed so bad that there is nothing left to work with. Episode IX is left with the smoldering wreckage of the Star Wars universe. Luke was a pussy and died, Yoda turned into a book burner, Leia and Han are dead or CGI spacefaring creatures I guess. And they killed the chemistry between Rey and the Storm Trooper. Hey, at least they have that NHS/Class president asian girl - maybe the whole next movie can be about her - maybe she can wield several newly minted and creatively colored light sabers (how about a rainbow colored saber)! Fun! Meaningful!

Honestly, there is no character I care about or circumstance/conflict I am interested in seeing resolved in Episode IX. I suspect a lot of other people are thinking the same thing, maybe even JJ Abrams. Is there an extra Death Star hanging around somewhere that they can blow up?

yup, everything cool that JJ set up in episode 7 was killed off or destroyed in episode 8

who is rey? whos her parents? that was the big question after episode 7. turns out shes no one with white trash parents

how awesome is luke after all these years? not very. he does nothing but whine and bitch, doesnt train rey at all, and doesn't show up for the last big fight, but still dies

who is snoke, and how awesome is he? doesn't matter, he dies right away in the lamest way possible

do finn and poe because jedi? no, because luke or rey is the last one. and poe is a terrible leader and finn just leaves his friends to die to go have some fun in space vegas for a weekend

is general hux the evil nazi that he seems to be? nope, he's just comic relief

how does leia die, seeings how shes dead in real life? she doesn't, but she floats now

do we learn all the mysteries of the jedi, and the tree of life? no, those things don't matter at all, burn those

so, yoda is still the greatest jedi of all? no, he's just a hypocrite who taught a bunch of people a bunch of shit that he doesn't believe in

seriously, the last jedi probably did more to destroy the series then the phantom menace did

[George Cumby]

The plot arc was set up for Rey to be a Skywalker. Continue with the relatable family drama. And then poof. Nada.

Finn has yet to develop one iota and has maybe regressed. Dumpy Asian girl: boring. No chemistry there either.

The resistance is fucking lame in comparison to the rebels of Rogue One.

The First Order sucks.

Why kill Scope without even developing him? Stupid.

Kasdan should be doing all the writing. For that matter, get half a dozen decent SW fans together and they could have come up with a better trilogy than the shit we are seeing.

Disney should be fired.

[red]

The plot arc was set up for Rey to be a Skywalker. Continue with the relatable family drama. And then poof. Nada.

Finn has yet to develop one iota and has maybe regressed. Dumpy Asian girl: boring. No chemistry there either.

The resistance is fucking lame in comparison to the rebels of Rogue One.

The First Order sucks.

Why kill Scope without even developing him? Stupid.

Kasdan should be doing all the writing. For that matter, get half a dozen decent SW fans together and they could have come up with a better trilogy than the shit we are seeing.

Disney should be fired.

let Dave Filoni write it all

he's the guy that does the cartoons, which might be the strongest and most in depth part of the whole franchise

[Zool]

Red nailed why Solo lost money. Bad timing for release and bad taste I. Everyone’s mouth after episode 8. 8 is the 4th worst StarWars movie, and it barely beat out 2 for 3rd place. It’s a real piece of shit.

Solo is a damned good not great movie. The numbers I read say it was $250 to shoot and $150 in marketing. That’s a crazy amount of marketing dollars. It’s made $260 so far but that’s not nearly good enough for expectations. They need to put Rian who’s his face in a cell and remake 8.

[Cheesehead Craig]

Star Wars has been such a clusterfuck after the first 3. The stupidity is strong with all who have written, directed, and casted these movies. I'll agree on the exception of Rogue One, that was quality. But the others, I regret spending money on them. I'm fully expecting Episode 9 to be as dumb as when Capt Kirk had to go back in time to save the whales to save Earth in the Trek movies.

[George Cumby]

Star Wars has been such a clusterfuck after the first 3. The stupidity is strong with all who have written, directed, and casted these movies. I'll agree on the exception of Rogue One, that was quality. But the others, I regret spending money on them. I'm fully expecting Episode 9 to be as dumb as when Capt Kirk had to go back in time to save the whales to save Earth in the Trek movies.

Bite yer phuqqing tongue. That was second only to KHhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnn!

[mraynrand]

Star Wars has been such a clusterfuck after the first 3. The stupidity is strong with all who have written, directed, and casted these movies. I'll agree on the exception of Rogue One, that was quality. But the others, I regret spending money on them. I'm fully expecting Episode 9 to be as dumb as when Capt Kirk had to go back in time to save the whales to save Earth in the Trek movies.

Was talking with a Star Wars nut last night. I think I convinced him that the problem was storytelling and characters (including poor acting). There were some interesting themes available, and some of it should have been salvageable, but the art is poor quality. For example, Emo Vader is interesting. He has one parent strong with the force and into politics, and another parent who is force-less, and is anti-government, anti-joiner by nature. If that conflict had played out better in Emo Vader over the course of episodes 7-9, it would have been very intriguing, but it required some decent exposition. All we get is a uniformly whining, tantrum throwing kid, not a kid who has to balance the disparate wishes of his parents to follow the path of one or the other. His story has no arc, his character has no journey and no destination.

Much of this results probably from what I call a 'serialization defect.' If you've watched any long-running show, that lasted longer than the original story, it's usually easy to detect when new, thin story lines are invented to draw the thing out. Too often these story lines are murky tangents which corrupt characters, rather than expanding them or challenging them in new ways. So instead of telling a cohesive story, and complete story that is the product of the creative mind of - usually - a single individual with a vision, the story becomes a slave to the necessity of having multiple episodes for commercial purposes, even if the ideas to sustain several episodes are not there.

[mraynrand]

Bite yer phuqqing tongue. That was second only to KHhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnn!

word

[red]

Was talking with a Star Wars nut last night. I think I convinced him that the problem was storytelling and characters (including poor acting). There were some interesting themes available, and some of it should have been salvageable, but the art is poor quality. For example, Emo Vader is interesting. He has one parent strong with the force and into politics, and another parent who is force-less, and is anti-government, anti-joiner by nature. If that conflict had played out better in Emo Vader over the course of episodes 7-9, it would have been very intriguing, but it required some decent exposition. All we get is a uniformly whining, tantrum throwing kid, not a kid who has to balance the disparate wishes of his parents to follow the path of one or the other. His story has no arc, his character has no journey and no destination.

Much of this results probably from what I call a 'serialization defect.' If you've watched any long-running show, that lasted longer than the original story, it's usually easy to detect when new, thin story lines are invented to draw the thing out. Too often these story lines are murky tangents which corrupt characters, rather than expanding them or challenging them in new ways. So instead of telling a cohesive story, and complete story that is the product of the creative mind of - usually - a single individual with a vision, the story becomes a slave to the necessity of having multiple episodes for commercial purposes, even if the ideas to sustain several episodes are not there.

Yeah, so, they knew it was gonna be a trilogy, but instead of writing a 3 movie story. They decided to take one movie at a time and let each different director make up his own story

Which is very dumb

[Zool]

The prequels would have written themselves if Lucas wasn't such a money grubbing shit bag.

EP 1, First half: Annikan origins, introduction to the force, small glimpse of things not being quite right. Second half, teen Annikan being shown as far stronger with the force than even anticipated. Warnings from Yoda. Scrap the force Jesus routine.

EP 2, Annikan having a secret life outside the Jedi. Not getting married and having terribly written love scenes. Action scenes of the clone wars and growing bond with Obi Wan. Emperor finds him and sees the darkness. Cultivates the darkness ultimately turning him in the final scene.

EP 3, Vader being a killing machine.

In EP 4 Obi Wan said "Vader hunted down and killed all the Jedi". He said nothing about "Clones had a secret code implanted that turns them on the Jedi". Lucas neutered Vader in EP1-3. And as Rand said, there is no main character that makes any sense or that you give 2 shits about.

[red]

did the prequels ever make anakin out to be the most powerful jedi ever? or even come close to being "the one"

he was pretty much always obi wans sidekick in the first 3, i never really got the feeling he was anything special, other then being told multiple times that he was

it was the clone wars cartoons that made him look like a complete badass

also, what just struck me. anakin wasn't allowed to be with portman because the jedi code says priests, i mean jedi, aren't allowed to do that because of the code. and now in the last jedi, the ultimate jedi syas that none of the jedi code is really worth a shit and doesnt matter. if yoda would have just said that about 60 years or so earlier, you never would have had darth vader, and millions and millions of people wouldn't have died

just more proof that maybe the jedi weren't the good guys after all

[red]

The prequels would have written themselves if Lucas wasn't such a money grubbing shit bag.

EP 1, First half: Annikan origins, introduction to the force, small glimpse of things not being quite right. Second half, teen Annikan being shown as far stronger with the force than even anticipated. Warnings from Yoda. Scrap the force Jesus routine.

EP 2, Annikan having a secret life outside the Jedi. Not getting married and having terribly written love scenes. Action scenes of the clone wars and growing bond with Obi Wan. Emperor finds him and sees the darkness. Cultivates the darkness ultimately turning him in the final scene.

EP 3, Vader being a killing machine.

In EP 4 Obi Wan said "Vader hunted down and killed all the Jedi". He said nothing about "Clones had a secret code implanted that turns them on the Jedi". Lucas neutered Vader in EP1-3. And as Rand said, there is no main character that makes any sense or that you give 2 shits about.

you would really hope that one of the planned spinoffs would have been about vader being a complete killing machine. hell that would make a great trilogy

what happened between episode 3 and roge one that made everyone so terrified of him? THAT, would be the ultimate star wars story. make it dark as shit too

[Cheesehead Craig]

Bring black Qui-Gon Jinn!

[George Cumby]

you would really hope that one of the planned spinoffs would have been about vader being a complete killing machine. hell that would make a great trilogy

what happened between episode 3 and roge one that made everyone so terrified of him? THAT, would be the ultimate star wars story. make it dark as shit too

This.

[Zool]

If you want to get nerded up good, go read the Darth Bane trilogy. It's everything Darth Vader could have been.

https://www.amazon.com/Darth-Bane-Legends-Destruction-Dynasty-ebook/dp/B009MYAQQS

[mraynrand]

If you want to get nerded up good, go read the Darth Bane trilogy. It's everything Darth Vader could have been.

https://www.amazon.com/Darth-Bane-Legends-Destruction-Dynasty-ebook/dp/B009MYAQQS

I've never read any Star Wars books, and stopped reading Trek books 30 years ago, but I do know tangentially that there are far better stories told in some of these books than have ever made the screen. A faithful retelling of the best of them on screen would be reasonably smart, which means Disney will never do it.

[red]

I've never read any Star Wars books, and stopped reading Trek books 30 years ago, but I do know tangentially that there are far better stories told in some of these books than have ever made the screen. A faithful retelling of the best of them on screen would be reasonably smart, which means Disney will never do it.

that would be the thrawn trilogy. it was seen as many as the follow up trilogy after jedi

and star wars rebels recently introduced the thrawn character to cannon. so it could happen

[3irty1]

you would really hope that one of the planned spinoffs would have been about vader being a complete killing machine. hell that would make a great trilogy

what happened between episode 3 and roge one that made everyone so terrified of him? THAT, would be the ultimate star wars story. make it dark as shit too

I wonder if we'll get any of that in the upcoming Obi Wan movie.

If ever there were a purpose for spinoff movies it would be to get Boba Fett on screen. Is there any character in anything that is more beloved yet less explored?

[red]

I wonder if we'll get any of that in the upcoming Obi Wan movie.

If ever there were a purpose for spinoff movies it would be to get Boba Fett on screen. Is there any character in anything that is more beloved yet less explored?

i think the obi wan movie has been canceled, due to solo not making enough money

[Zool]

They said all spinoffs are on hold. Hadn't heard cancelled yet.

Thrawn is a great series. Really well done.

[mraynrand]

I wonder if we'll get any of that in the upcoming Obi Wan movie.

If ever there were a purpose for spinoff movies it would be to get Boba Fett on screen. Is there any character in anything that is more beloved yet less explored?

Kennedy would write Boba Fett as a female to male transgender with gynecological issues exacerbated by the costume.

[wootah]

I came across this last year. For the fans and theose who like the score, this is worth your time:


https://youtu.be/CDSCdj7bUFs

[3irty1]

Well I finally saw Solo. I know. The first Star Wars that came out during my lifetime that I didn't see in theaters. Actually first one that I didn't see at first possible showing in theaters now that I think about it.

Pretty good. I guess it makes sense now why they decided to throw water on Han + Leia for episodes 7 and 8. If they had remained happily ever after, it'd be tough for some to go back and be invested in watching a young Han chase skirt all over the galaxy. Loved how they did Lando. The end got tiresome with the double double double cross showdown but whatever. Star Wars is supposed to be fun.

If anyone from Disney reads this, my credentials as a fan are impeccable and I represent the largest demographic in the country--bring me on to consult on a Boba Fett stand alone film. I'm thinking it'll be R rated.

[Freak Out]

I think the Clone War cartoons are pretty cool. :-)

[mraynrand]

Well I finally saw Solo. I know. The first Star Wars that came out during my lifetime that I didn't see in theaters. Actually first one that I didn't see at first possible showing in theaters now that I think about it.

Pretty good. I guess it makes sense now why they decided to throw water on Han + Leia for episodes 7 and 8. If they had remained happily ever after, it'd be tough for some to go back and be invested in watching a young Han chase skirt all over the galaxy. Loved how they did Lando. The end got tiresome with the double double double cross showdown but whatever. Star Wars is supposed to be fun.

If anyone from Disney reads this, my credentials as a fan are impeccable and I represent the largest demographic in the country--bring me on to consult on a Boba Fett stand alone film. I'm thinking it'll be R rated.

'Solo' kept my attention, but that's about it. I watched it several months ago now and can't remember even the basic plot, if there was one. Something was bugging me during the movie and it took some time to figure it out - and that was that the Solo character had this 'Jack Black' vibe going on. Thinner and less snarky to be sure, but still just as short, and had the same kind of mannerisms, albeit more muted. I don't think I'll be able to watch it again.

BTW, I guarantee you that our current SJW universe will ruin Boba Fett of the SW universe, if anyone is plucky enough to produce it.

[mraynrand]

Hey, at least they have that NHS/Class president asian girl - maybe the whole next movie can be about her - maybe she can wield several newly minted and creatively colored light sabers (how about a rainbow colored saber)! Fun! Meaningful!


She's gone! Erased from existence like Marty McFly's siblings! Replaced by a penile slug! (will anyone notice?) Astonishing!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NR-Bj9hDDwo

[Zool]

'Solo' kept my attention, but that's about it. I watched it several months ago now and can't remember even the basic plot, if there was one. Something was bugging me during the movie and it took some time to figure it out - and that was that the Solo character had this 'Jack Black' vibe going on. Thinner and less snarky to be sure, but still just as short, and had the same kind of mannerisms, albeit more muted. I don't think I'll be able to watch it again.

BTW, I guarantee you that our current SJW universe will ruin Boba Fett of the SW universe, if anyone is plucky enough to produce it.

Boba was a Mandalorian. With that series coming out soon, I'd be surprised if they came out with a stand alone origin story. They will probably bring him into the series at some point as an outcast and send him to Camino.

[mraynrand]

Vader: how many pizzas should we order?
Palpatine : order 66

[mraynrand]

Boba was a Mandalorian. With that series coming out soon, I'd be surprised if they came out with a stand alone origin story. They will probably bring him into the series at some point as an outcast and send him to Camino.

I didn't even know this was a thing. The trailer looks dark. Dark and stupid. Kinda like the Canadian guy. Who knows, maybe they have good writers. But I'd bet good money they'll cock it up.

[Zool]

I didn't even know this was a thing. The trailer looks dark. Dark and stupid. Kinda like the Canadian guy. Who knows, maybe they have good writers. But I'd bet good money they'll cock it up.

They will definitely fuck it up.

[mraynrand]

Disney goes full Tran-phobic as it commits "Rose Erasure," airbrushing Rose Tico out of its Star Wars merchandise
This is a crime against race and gender. #BeBetter, Disney. I can't believe Rian Johnson needed someone to crash a car in The Last Jedi, and he made it the Asian woman. What is this, 2015?!?! #BeBetter, Disney. This isn't who we are. Flashback: Rose Tico was such a popular character from the very popular The Last Jedi that fans bought her action figure by the dozens https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XPHVBoQCFA

Aceofspades