Chickens Everywhere are Rejoicing as the World that I Knew Comes to an End.

[Patler]

First, it was their change of official name from "Kentucky Fried Chicken" to "KFC".

Then, it was their announcement to go to exclusively boneless chicken in a couple years.

Now, they are test marketing "Beyond Fried Chicken" meatless, plant based nuggets and "wings".

https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/food/2019/08/26/kfc-beyond-fried-chicken-chicken-chain-testing-plant-based-chicken/2096539001/

[hoosier]

My kids have back yard chickens, which I do my best to ignore. Theirs is a cruel, unforgiving world in which the meek and mild are fortunate to be breathing. Trust me, chickens around the world couldn't give a shit that their brethren get to keep their heads because of some bean protein extraction.

[mraynrand]

“Raise your hands, raise your voice, give the chickens another choice”

[Cheesehead Craig]

https://crayfisher.files.wordpress.com/2013/01/boneless-chicken-ranch-far-side-247x300.png

[Patler]

My kids have back yard chickens, which I do my best to ignore. Theirs is a cruel, unforgiving world in which the meek and mild are fortunate to be breathing. Trust me, chickens around the world couldn't give a shit that their brethren get to keep their heads because of some bean protein extraction.

I have beheaded hundreds of them myself. I hated everything about raising chickens on the farm, except eating them and their eggs. I don't want any meatless fried chicken.

[Joemailman]

It would increase my choices on Fridays in Lent.

[texaspackerbacker]

I always thought the change to KFC had more to do with negativity about the middle word than the end word.

[mraynrand]

I always thought the change to KFC had more to do with negativity about the middle word than the end word.

they are a forward thinking organization

[Joemailman]

https://pics.me.me/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road-im-a-free-range-18650609.png

[Upnorth]

I have beheaded hundreds of them myself. I hated everything about raising chickens on the farm, except eating them and their eggs. I don't want any meatless fried chicken.

We have a video of my youngest when she was two, splattered with blood and laughing as I cut off a chickens head. We look like complete rednecks, but it does make the chicken taste better.

[3irty1]

Have to think these things through before you outsource the jobs of our domestic animal partners. In the last year we got a Roomba and a Ring doorbell, thereby automating two of my dog's most important jobs. She's working through a crisis of meaning now. Are we prepared to live in a civilization with billions of dispossessed feral chickens? Will they learn to code?

[mraynrand]

Have to think these things through before you outsource the jobs of our domestic animal partners. In the last year we got a Roomba and a Ring doorbell, thereby automating two of my dog's most important jobs. She's working through a crisis of meaning now. Are we prepared to live in a civilization with billions of dispossessed feral chickens? Will they learn to code?

I set up a large trap over the front entry to catch porch pirates. Then my dog urinates on them. He has a new purpose in life.

[George Cumby]

My kids have back yard chickens, which I do my best to ignore. Theirs is a cruel, unforgiving world in which the meek and mild are fortunate to be breathing. Trust me, chickens around the world couldn't give a shit that their brethren get to keep their heads because of some bean protein extraction.

Truth.

We have chickens of close to a dozen varieties, two ducks, a peacock and a turkey. Our last pigeon got whacked the other day.

The peacock is chill.

The turkey would hang out in your lap if you'd let him.

Ducks are dicks.

Chickens are miniature dinosaurs whose main purpose in life after eating is terrorizing the other members of their flock.

The cream leg bars are pretty vanilla.

The white crowned polish rooster thinks he's a fucking T-Rex.

The Bantam rooster thinks he's a fucking velociraptor.

Leghorns are smart.

The Barred rock hen is alpha and is super cool. Follows me around.

Golden laced wyandotte are high-strung and psycho like an Orange County girlfriend.

Americauna's are pretty ok.

Sometimes you just have to kick a rooster as hard as you fucking can.

[Patler]

Truth.

We have chickens of close to a dozen varieties, two ducks, a peacock and a turkey. Our last pigeon got whacked the other day.
....

The cream leg bars are pretty vanilla.

The white crowned polish rooster thinks he's a fucking T-Rex.

The Bantam rooster thinks he's a fucking velociraptor.

Leghorns are smart.

The Barred rock hen is alpha and is super cool. Follows me around.

Golden laced wyandotte are high-strung and psycho like an Orange County girlfriend.

Americauna's are pretty ok.

Which ones taste best?

[MadtownPacker]

No Rhode Island Reds? Had some but kept finding with the heads gone. They had free range of the backyard. Not sure what did them in but suspect this feral cat mom that showed up did it.

[Patler]

No Rhode Island Reds? Had some but kept finding with the heads gone. They had free range of the backyard. Not sure what did them in but suspect this feral cat mom that showed up did it.

Weasels were the culprits on the farm when we found headless chickens.

[MadtownPacker]

There are hawks, foxes, possums, and owls around here. Figure hawks and owls wouldn’t have just taken the head. Foxes maybe but this happened in the day and the night. I have never seen one pit in the open. Always hiding. The reason I blame the feral cat is because both times it happened she had just had kittens so thinking it was a postpartum massacre.

[hoosier]

When our chickens have shown up headless I have always suspected racoon or fox. Hawks just kill the fuckers, peck em to death, then leave when the realize the prey is too heavy to fly off with. Skunks go after the eggs, and if they don't find any they might eat the chickens guts out. I am going to send this report to Rand and have him translate into Radagastese.

[George Cumby]

Which ones taste best?

The eggs are great.

My sweet kids won't let me butcher any of their chickens. Even the asshole roosters.

[George Cumby]

Neighbors dog got a couple. Put a round of #4 birdshot into its' ass, hasn't been back since.

Skunks were getting the eggs then graduated to the birds. Like Hoosier said, they like the evisceration method. Live trap and .22 to the head.

Pack of coyotes rolled through one night when I was out of town, whacked the three roosters. Kids were devastated. Me, not so much.

Had one Rhode Island Red, really broody. Was hoping she'd actually raise a clutch of eggs. Forget who killed her.

[MadtownPacker]

Sounds like your roosters fought to the finish. Bad mofos.

Yeah, I miss the eggs. They made everything even cheap ass cake mix better. Now I just buy watery store ones.

You ever give them mealworms. I had one trained to jump in the air and peck it from my hand. I would rattle the bag and they would come running full blast to me. If you haven’t get a bag for the kids to try. It was like crack to them (the chickens).

[hoosier]

Yup, mealworms--and the rattling sound--is how our kids get them to leave the neighbors yard, come back under the fence and get their asses in the coop. The sights and sounds of backyard massacres never taught them a thing, but they can learn to associate a vague rattling sound with tasty treat. I guess the instinct for self preservation starts and stops in the stomach.