Anti-Polar Bear
04-29-2021, 09:17 AM
Rd/Player/Pos/Mental Institution/Comment
1 (from Jets). Zack Wilson, QB, BYU: 6-2 214 lbs. 4.4 40. 30 Wonderlic. Packers trade the Great Arm of Butte to the Jets for 3 1sts (2021, 2022, 2023), 2 2nds (2021, 2022) and a 3rd (2022). Mormon whose favorite NFL player is Aaron Rodgers. Might've made an appearance on mormonboyz.com. Poor man's Aaron Rodgers.
1 (from Patriots). Devonta Smith, WR, Alabama: 6-1 180. 4.49 40. 34 Wonderlic. Packers trade the 29th overall pick, their second 4th rounder and Jordan Love to the Patriots for the 15th overall pick. Smooth as a hot stripper's breasts as a route runner. Quick and cocky. Poor man's Davante Adams
2 (from Jets). Asante Samuel Jr, CB, Florida St: 5-10 185. 4.45 40. 40 Wonderlic. The Oedipal son of ex-NFL great Asante Samuel. Inherited cat-like Kung Fu, as well as high football IQ, from the old man. Man coverage is more Wu-tang than zone coverage. Prototype slot man with some boundary kung fu. Poor man's Asante Samuel.
2. Baron Browning, ILB, THE Ohio State: 6-3 240. 4.56 40. 10 Wonderlic. Athletic and atheistic gangsta whose Kung Fu includes playing both the run and the pass. Can blitz, too. Poor man's KJ Wright.
3. Cameron McGrone, ILB, Michigan: 6-1 236, 4.4 40. 25 Wonderlic. Youtube vids depict a fast and physical gangsta. Wu-Tang enough in pass coverage? Time will tell. Poor man's Roquan Smith.
4. Israel Mukuamu, CB, South Carolina: 6-4 212, 4.39 40. 44 Wonderlic. Holds an African-African surname, so high Wonderlic ain't a surprise. Love futbol? Or merely seeking to milk NFL pigs for a few seasons til med school comes a-calling? Poor man's Richard Sherman.
5. Kellen Mond, QB, Texas AM: 6-3 215. 4.56 40. 27 Wonderlic. Poor man's Dak Prescott.
5. Reed Blankenship, S, Middle Tennesse: 6-0 210. 4.52 40. 34 Wonderlic. Make safety white again. Aggressive and instinctive. Wore #12 in college. With the NFL relaxing its numbering rules, give the man the #12 Green and Musta Yella. Poor man's John Lynch.
6. Chris Evans, RB, Michigan: 5-10 215. 4.40. 33 Wonderlic. Captain America.
6. Jaelon Darden, WR, North Texas 5-8 175. 4.46 40. 22 Wonderlic. Slot machine.
7. Quinton Bohanna, DT, Kentucky 6-4 354. 7.2 40. 26 Wonderlic. Sorry, did not have time to research this Yokozuna. Gotta get the beauty sleep in. Waking up at 3 PM for a poker session. Flip burgers at 10 PM.
1 (from Jets). Zack Wilson, QB, BYU: 6-2 214 lbs. 4.4 40. 30 Wonderlic. Packers trade the Great Arm of Butte to the Jets for 3 1sts (2021, 2022, 2023), 2 2nds (2021, 2022) and a 3rd (2022). Mormon whose favorite NFL player is Aaron Rodgers. Might've made an appearance on mormonboyz.com. Poor man's Aaron Rodgers.
1 (from Patriots). Devonta Smith, WR, Alabama: 6-1 180. 4.49 40. 34 Wonderlic. Packers trade the 29th overall pick, their second 4th rounder and Jordan Love to the Patriots for the 15th overall pick. Smooth as a hot stripper's breasts as a route runner. Quick and cocky. Poor man's Davante Adams
2 (from Jets). Asante Samuel Jr, CB, Florida St: 5-10 185. 4.45 40. 40 Wonderlic. The Oedipal son of ex-NFL great Asante Samuel. Inherited cat-like Kung Fu, as well as high football IQ, from the old man. Man coverage is more Wu-tang than zone coverage. Prototype slot man with some boundary kung fu. Poor man's Asante Samuel.
2. Baron Browning, ILB, THE Ohio State: 6-3 240. 4.56 40. 10 Wonderlic. Athletic and atheistic gangsta whose Kung Fu includes playing both the run and the pass. Can blitz, too. Poor man's KJ Wright.
3. Cameron McGrone, ILB, Michigan: 6-1 236, 4.4 40. 25 Wonderlic. Youtube vids depict a fast and physical gangsta. Wu-Tang enough in pass coverage? Time will tell. Poor man's Roquan Smith.
4. Israel Mukuamu, CB, South Carolina: 6-4 212, 4.39 40. 44 Wonderlic. Holds an African-African surname, so high Wonderlic ain't a surprise. Love futbol? Or merely seeking to milk NFL pigs for a few seasons til med school comes a-calling? Poor man's Richard Sherman.
5. Kellen Mond, QB, Texas AM: 6-3 215. 4.56 40. 27 Wonderlic. Poor man's Dak Prescott.
5. Reed Blankenship, S, Middle Tennesse: 6-0 210. 4.52 40. 34 Wonderlic. Make safety white again. Aggressive and instinctive. Wore #12 in college. With the NFL relaxing its numbering rules, give the man the #12 Green and Musta Yella. Poor man's John Lynch.
6. Chris Evans, RB, Michigan: 5-10 215. 4.40. 33 Wonderlic. Captain America.
6. Jaelon Darden, WR, North Texas 5-8 175. 4.46 40. 22 Wonderlic. Slot machine.
7. Quinton Bohanna, DT, Kentucky 6-4 354. 7.2 40. 26 Wonderlic. Sorry, did not have time to research this Yokozuna. Gotta get the beauty sleep in. Waking up at 3 PM for a poker session. Flip burgers at 10 PM.