Teds & Tanks - Lumpensteelers (Week 4)

[Anti-Polar Bear]

I've re-watched EVERY play of this game in about 24 minutes on the NFL Shortcuts.

Tanks (losers):

Stokes - Allowed quick outs completions all day by giving wideouts 25-yard cushions pre-snap. Shouda just played the fucking "Pistol Force." Nice pick to "ice, ice, baby," the game, though.

Jones - Fair through and through running the rock. Caught a couple of bullets to move the chains. A wise man once said that 33 is the mother of inconsistency b/c he's Aaron, eloquent bro of Moses, one week; Erin, lumpenproletarian of Baltimore, the next. Pooping out rock was monstrous, and therefore, the Erin denotation is justified.

Tonyan -Drayton's fault, but this guy needs to be taken off the field goal unit. He can't block. Coulda scored twice, but 12 misplaced the rock with under/over thrown rocks.

Teds (winners):

Dillion - In the 4th, LaFleur ran the "Orgy" - the 1 WR, 1 tailback, 3 tight ends formation where all 3 TEs clusterfucked next to each others at the LOS - something like 5 straight times. 28 simply pounded the rock up and down the Lumpensteelers' rear ends, milking the cock, err, clock along the way.

Cletidus - This guy makes so few plays, the rare times he actually made a play, the announcers didn't even notice. Recovered a rock and made a couple of maniacal tackles behind the LOS. The All-American announcing team of Romo and Nantz never once barked his name.

Cobb - Here are some senseless comments by some senseless posters on the day 12 conspired Cobb's return to cold, dark and dull Green Bay : "Hahahhaha Cobb will only be healthy for 3 games so who cares?" - Tony O'Day (Cobb has played in all 4 games thus far, proving that orangutans are indeed smarter than O'Day.) "The Cobb situation is so stupid it makes me wish the Packers had just traded Rodgers now." - Harlan Huckleby "Does anyone know what was traded for Cobb? I'm hoping it wasn't more than a couple cases of Leinenkugels's." - George Crumby "Gute told Rodgers to shut up and let the more knowledgeable people run the team." - King Friday

Odds and Ends:
23 got beat for 6 via poor technique. Playing the Pistol Force against a bomb route is a recipe for disaster. Trust me, I know a thing or two about futbol technique, especially at the corner position. I was shutdown corner in high school, after all. Even shut down Darren Charles in a game.

[texaspackerbacker]

I woulda thought Tanks - you - would be the studs, and Teds - the Polar Bear you are anti- - would be the duds hahahahaha.

I'll admit, Stokes had me thinking a little bit of Kevin King for a while hahahaha. I can't call him a Ted (eeew, I hate calling good ones that), but I certainly wouldn't call him a dud - oops, I mean Tank either.

I assume you mean Kenny Clark when you say Cletidus. He was good, the whole D Line was with Lancaster gone, but it's a stretch to call him a Ted - and I'm a big fan of his generally.

Aaron Jones fumbled, which might knock him out of Ted status, but he still played a really good game. He's way better than Dillon, even though Dillon had one of his best games.

I'm not gonna blame Tonyan much for not getting open more. It seemed like the Steelers were concentrating on him more - maybe because MVS was out - similar to Davante not having a great game possibly for the same reason.

Cobb maybe have been taken too lightly by the Steelers. He was good and probably deserves Ted status.

I'll defer to you on Jaire's technique, but it looked to me like he had a chance for a pick on that long TD before he got OPIed out of the way. He was damn good the rest of the game including the play he got hurt. I'd give him Ted status.

Keke has taken a beating from detractors in here, but he played a damn good game Sunday - way better than Lancaster ever, and I think the main reason he didn't do much the first 3 games was too much bench time while stinking Lancaster was in the game.

I'd give Ted status (I really hate saying Ted as in a good thing) to Rashan Gary and of course, as always - almost - Aaron Rodgers. That's about it - Campbell maybe, but mostly he just did his job. Ditto that for Savage. And the punter and kicker both had another solid game.

Tanks? Nobody obvious. I hardly even saw Adrian Amos all day, but I think we mostly played single high Safety, and he was it. With Roethlisberger seldom throwing deep.

I wouldn't give our O Line either a Ted or a Tank. They had a few really good plays - a couple of actually clean pockets and at least one really good run block play - where Dillon almost scored from 25 or so out, but most of the game, the pass blocking was mediocre as usual, and the runs got stuffed except for Jones bouncing off the pile.

This was not a bad team we beat, and it wasn't really close or stressful at all.

[call_me_ishmael]

Eric Stokes is going to become Sam Shields. He can see him getting better each game (I barely watch, but that is the buzz online). Sounds like Jaire is going to be out for at least a few weeks based on MILFS comments.

Where my guy Adrian Amos at? Playmaker last year, ghost this year. Is it the system?

I want to see Dillon get the ball for at least 10 carries and 3 catches per game. That boy ain't right with his mass.

[texaspackerbacker]

Apparently it is an AC separation for Jaire, and that is 4-6 weeks. LaFleur says looking good for not being season ending. We're gonna really see how Barry can adjust to adversity. I HOPE he doesn't just put Kevin King back in. Yiadem didn't look very good, but still better than King. And Jean-Charles in brief PT at the end looked decent too. I'm thinking Ento might be the best bet, though.

Barry, similar to Jim Leonhard, likes to put his Corners out on an island. That worked most of the time with Jaire, fairly well with Stokes, but horribly with King. Hopefully he can figure out some kind of combo D to handle things until Jaire is back.

[Joemailman]

Apparently it is an AC separation for Jaire, and that is 4-6 weeks. LaFleur says looking good for not being season ending. We're gonna really see how Barry can adjust to adversity. I HOPE he doesn't just put Kevin King back in. Yiadem didn't look very good, but still better than King. And Jean-Charles in brief PT at the end looked decent too. I'm thinking Ento might be the best bet, though.

Barry, similar to Jim Leonhard, likes to put his Corners out on an island. That worked most of the time with Jaire, fairly well with Stokes, but horribly with King. Hopefully he can figure out some kind of combo D to handle things until Jaire is back.

LaFleur did not saying it is looking good. He said he is hopeful that's it's not season ending. That's not the same as optimistic. He said they're getting lots of opinions and will have an update on Wednesday.

[texaspackerbacker]

In the article I read this morning, he said it is looking good that it isn't season ending - which is what I said.

[Fritz]

LaFleur did not saying it is looking good. He said he is hopeful that's it's not season ending. That's not the same as optimistic. He said they're getting lots of opinions and will have an update on Wednesday.

Think about this: if you asked a Packer fan to list the Packers' best players, here are some of the guys that would be on that list, pretty close to the top -

David Bakhtiari
Elgton Jenkins
Zadarius Smith
Jaire Alexander

And all four out, probably for a little while, and some possibly for the season.

Ouch.

I will not tempt the gods by naming the other best players on the team.