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Joemailman
12-24-2022, 10:27 AM
16 Thu 2022-12-22 7:15PM Jacksonville Jaguars @ New York Jets
16 Sat 2022-12-24 12:00PM Buffalo Bills @ Chicago Bears
16 Sat 2022-12-24 12:00PM Atlanta Falcons @ Baltimore Ravens
16 Sat 2022-12-24 12:00PM Seattle Seahawks @ Kansas City Chiefs
16 Sat 2022-12-24 12:00PM New York Giants @ Minnesota Vikings
16 Sat 2022-12-24 12:00PM New Orleans Saints @ Cleveland Browns
16 Sat 2022-12-24 12:00PM Cincinnati Bengals @ New England Patriots
16 Sat 2022-12-24 12:00PM Houston Texans @ Tennessee Titans
16 Sat 2022-12-24 12:00PM Detroit Lions @ Carolina Panthers
16 Sat 2022-12-24 3:05PM Washington Commanders @ San Francisco 49ers
16 Sat 2022-12-24 3:25PM Philadelphia Eagles @ Dallas Cowboys
16 Sat 2022-12-24 7:15PM Las Vegas Raiders @ Pittsburgh Steelers
16 Sun 2022-12-25 3:30PM Denver Broncos @ Los Angeles Rams
16 Sun 2022-12-25 7:20PM Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Arizona Cardinals
16 Mon 2022-12-26 7:15PM Los Angeles Chargers @ Indianapolis Colts

Joemailman
12-24-2022, 10:47 AM
All Christmas Day games are national broadcasts.

CBS Single - Most of the country, including most of Wisconsin and Alaska gets Cincinnati at New England. Ian Eagle and Charles Davis with the call. Milwaukee area and most of Illinois gets Buffalo at Chicago. Greg Gumbel and Adam Archuleta with the call. Northwest Wisconsin and much of Minnesota gets Washington and San Francisco (Late) Kevin Harlan and Trent Green with the call.
https://506sports.com/2022/16-CBS-V2.png

Fox Early - Western Great Lakes gets Giants at Minnesota. Adam Amin and Mark Schlereth with the call. Michigan gets Detroit at Carolina. Chris Myers and Robert Smith with the call. West, including Alaska and Hawaii gets Seattle at Kansas City. Kevin Kugler and Mark Sanchez with the call.
https://506sports.com/2022/16-FOX-E-V3.png

Fox Late - Entire country gets Philadelphia at Dallas. Kevin Burkhardt and Greg Olsen with the call.

Anti-Polar Bear
12-24-2022, 11:39 AM
If ALL the planets align for this hapless mooch, the following teams will ALL win AND beat the fucking spread:

Cin (at NE) -3
Det (at Car) -3
Cle (vs NO) -3
Min (vs NYG) -4
Ten (vs Hou) -3
SF (vs Was) -6.5
Dal (vs Phi) -5
Pit ( vs LV) -2

Anti-Polar Bear
12-24-2022, 01:20 PM
Fucking Pussies (Lions) are fucking me.

texaspackerbacker
12-24-2022, 01:24 PM
Great News so far for the Packers (sorry APB), the Lions and Seattle - the two primary teams we need to lose are both losing big.

Fosco33
12-24-2022, 01:31 PM
Lions are not our concern. Neither really is Seattle.

We need to worry about the Redskins the most.

Anti-Polar Bear
12-24-2022, 01:38 PM
Great News so far for the Packers (sorry APB), the Lions and Seattle - the two primary teams we need to lose are both losing big.

To channel my inner Harrell, it’s all rigged anyway.

My other parlay, I picked the Saints, Bears the Falcons to win straight up (money line). Falcons, down 0-14, had ball inside Ravens 3, 1st down. Ridder rolled out of pocket and as he threw the ball away, arm got hit by defender; ball didn’t soar past line of scrimmage. Refs mistakenly called intentional grounding; Falcons settled for FG.

Joemailman
12-24-2022, 01:39 PM
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Fkw8TL0WQAIHzvy?format=jpg&name=small

Anti-Polar Bear
12-24-2022, 01:45 PM
Lions are not our concern. Neither really is Seattle.

We need to worry about the Redskins the most.

Both teams remain ahead of Packers so if they lose, Packers playoff percentage goes up.

That being said playoffs? Are you fucking kidding me? Playoffs? Fucking Packers made Zack Wilson look like Aaron Rodgers, for fuck’s sake!

Anti-Polar Bear
12-24-2022, 01:49 PM
Black Pussycats up 31-7 over the Pussies now.

I am fucked.

Anti-Polar Bear
12-24-2022, 01:50 PM
What race is Riddler?

Fosco33
12-24-2022, 01:55 PM
What race is Riddler?

Human

Joemailman
12-24-2022, 01:56 PM
Both teams remain ahead of Packers so if they lose, Packers playoff percentage goes up.

That being said playoffs? Are you fucking kidding me? Playoffs? Fucking Packers made Zack Wilson look like Aaron Rodgers, for fuck’s sake!

Merry Christmas!

Joemailman
12-24-2022, 02:18 PM
Vikings take lead on great catch by Hockenson. Looked like Michael Mayer of Notre Dame on that one.

George Cumby
12-24-2022, 02:26 PM
I really struggle rooting for the Vikings.

Anti-Polar Bear
12-24-2022, 02:31 PM
According to Fox, Packers blitz 38% of the time on defense, second highest in the NFL. That can’t be true, can it? Barry’s D is more vanilla than Vanilla Ice haters.

Joemailman
12-24-2022, 02:36 PM
According to Fox, Packers blitz 38% of the time on defense, second highest in the NFL. That can’t be true, can it? Barry’s D is more vanilla than Vanilla Ice haters.

It's true. They're probably blitzing more since Gary went out.

Anti-Polar Bear
12-24-2022, 02:45 PM
Merry Christmas!

Jesus was most likely born in April, but rather then piss way more frogskins at the poker tables, I gifted myself a $119 amazfit smartwatch. Coulda gotten the latest posh Apple Watch but pissed away too much frogskins gambling.

Rastak
12-24-2022, 02:51 PM
I really struggle rooting for the Vikings.

I don't have that problem so much.

Joemailman
12-24-2022, 02:52 PM
The idea that the Vikings could have drafted Christian Watson to go with Justin Jefferson is scary.

Rastak
12-24-2022, 02:54 PM
The idea that the Vikings could have drafted Christian Watson to go with Justin Jefferson is scary.


Thielen's getting real old. Good point.

Rastak
12-24-2022, 02:55 PM
Man, Barkley busts it.


edit: Tie game with 2 minutes. Exciting if nothing else.

Joemailman
12-24-2022, 02:57 PM
Giants are a tough team.

George Cumby
12-24-2022, 02:58 PM
I don't have that problem so much.

Hahahahahahaha.

Rastak
12-24-2022, 02:58 PM
Giants are a tough team.


They are, and they have more riding on it to be fair.

George Cumby
12-24-2022, 02:59 PM
Man, Barkley busts it.


edit: Tie game with 2 minutes. Exciting if nothing else.

Sit back and crack another cold one.

Rastak
12-24-2022, 03:00 PM
Sit back and crack another cold one.


Too many already George.


edit: It's funny, they are 11-3 and I expect the worse most of every game.

Rastak
12-24-2022, 03:03 PM
I wish that fucker would throw it away on occasion. Holds the ball all damn day 20 times a game.

Joemailman
12-24-2022, 03:04 PM
Can't believe Cousins took the sack there.

Rastak
12-24-2022, 03:05 PM
60 yarder.....sure, that will happen.

Rastak
12-24-2022, 03:06 PM
Holy shit he nailed it to set a Vikings record.


edit: Three yards to spare even!

Anti-Polar Bear
12-24-2022, 03:07 PM
60 yarder.....sure, that will happen.

Queens are so fucking lucky. I wish I was as lucky as the Queens at gambling.

George Cumby
12-24-2022, 03:07 PM
I'm glad the Vikes won.

*vomits in mouth*

HarveyWallbangers
12-24-2022, 03:08 PM
Vikings are more lucky than good. Getting a lot of breaks and winning close games, but they are frauds like the 2019 Packers. Great season for a rookie head coach, but I don’t see them beating 2-4 good teams in the playoffs.

Rastak
12-24-2022, 03:11 PM
Vikings are more lucky than good. Getting a lot of breaks and winning close games, but they are frauds like the 2019 Packers. Great season for a rookie head coach, but I don’t see them beating 2-4 good teams in the playoffs.



I could argue with you Harv but I totally understand your point, but nobody in the world lucks into 12-3. Nobody ever.


That said, I'm not expecting a deep run. One could argue the pre-season favorites to win the division are also frauds in a sense.

Joemailman
12-24-2022, 03:25 PM
The one thing the Vikings will have going for them is that they're used to playing in close games. If they can keep it close, they likely won't freak out in the 4th quarter.

Rastak
12-24-2022, 03:45 PM
Titans blew it.

MadScientist
12-24-2022, 04:05 PM
Holy shit he nailed it to set a Vikings record.


edit: Three yards to spare even!

Love 'em or hate 'em, the Vikings have been entertaining the last couple of weeks.

Rastak
12-24-2022, 04:06 PM
Love 'em or hate 'em, the Vikings have been entertaining the last couple of weeks.


Boy, no kidding.

texaspackerbacker
12-24-2022, 04:20 PM
I'll take hate 'em, but they did do the Packers a favor knocking off the Giants.

Rastak
12-24-2022, 04:21 PM
I'll take hate 'em, but they did do the Packers a favor knocking off the Giants.


You are welcome, Merry Christmas Tex.

RashanGary
12-24-2022, 04:22 PM
Idiot commanders tied with SF :roll:

RashanGary
12-24-2022, 04:24 PM
If the commanders had 2 ties, how would that shake out?

9-8 compared to 8-7-2?

Rastak
12-24-2022, 04:26 PM
Idiot commanders tied with SF :roll:

I suddenly became a Commanders and Cowboys fan this weekend.


edit: Due to Niners chasing the Vikes for the #2 seed.

Fosco33
12-24-2022, 04:27 PM
I'll take hate 'em, but they did do the Packers a favor knocking off the Giants.

Kept an outside shot at 6th seed but again - we should be worried about Washington.

Joemailman
12-24-2022, 04:42 PM
If the commanders had 2 ties, how would that shake out?

9-8 compared to 8-7-2?

I've been wondering the same thing. I believe they go by win/loss pct. If so, 8-7 (.533) beats 9-8 (.529).

Rastak
12-24-2022, 04:44 PM
I've been wondering the same thing. I believe they go by win/loss pct. If so, 8-7 (.533) beats 9-8 (.529).


I would assume Joe.

RashanGary
12-24-2022, 04:50 PM
49ers up by 7. The commanders have run 10 more plays and have 21 minute to 14 minute advantage in time of possession. Let’s hope 9ers don’t get worn down and rolled up on here

RashanGary
12-24-2022, 05:03 PM
So we have the for sure tie breaker on Seattle. We play Detroit so that’s not a worry. All that’s left is the commanders, right?

Rastak
12-24-2022, 05:04 PM
Fucking Kittle man.......

RashanGary
12-24-2022, 05:14 PM
Fucking Kittle man.......

How you watching? I’m getting the crappy cowboy eagle game

RashanGary
12-24-2022, 05:15 PM
Fucking Kittle man.......

One of my favorite players in the league. Such a damn beast! Tough as nails, good after the catch, fierce blocker, talented receiver. He’s everything in one.

RashanGary
12-24-2022, 05:24 PM
9ers about to kick a field goal. 10 point lead with 15 minutes to go. Come on 9ers.

Rastak
12-24-2022, 05:25 PM
How you watching? I’m getting the crappy cowboy eagle game


Red Zone.

RashanGary
12-24-2022, 05:29 PM
Washington fumbles at their 10 yard line. 9ers about to go up by 13 or 17.

Rastak
12-24-2022, 05:30 PM
Niners should finish them off.

RashanGary
12-24-2022, 05:31 PM
Ok, 13 points feels safe. Everything we needed looks like it worked out. Now we just need to beat the fins.

RashanGary
12-24-2022, 05:32 PM
Well, now we need to beat the fins, Vikings and Lions. Still. It’s possible.

RashanGary
12-24-2022, 05:34 PM
So now we need the commanders to lose 1 of 2 remaining or giants to lose both. Either of those happen and we win out, it’s playoffs.

George Cumby
12-24-2022, 07:00 PM
Red Zone.

I love RZ but it does nothing to help with my ADHD.

RashanGary
12-24-2022, 07:09 PM
Packers have a 91% chance of making the playoffs if they win out. There’s about a 75% chance the commanders lose 1 and a 25% chance the giants lose 2. So one of the two things is likely to happen. Now we have to win!

MadtownPacker
12-24-2022, 07:24 PM
Packers now have better chance of making playoffs than APB has of getting laid!!!

texaspackerbacker
12-24-2022, 07:26 PM
Well, the rest of the league did their job. Now he Packers have to take care of business. Slim chance, but we could even pass up the Giants for the 5th spot.

RashanGary
12-24-2022, 11:07 PM
Bryan Bulaga spent his Christmas Eve trolling Vikings fans on Twitter. Funny stuff.

Anti-Polar Bear
12-25-2022, 09:26 AM
Packers now have better chance of making playoffs than APB has of getting laid!!!

True.

Years of porn exposure have handicapped my ability to communicate with chicks, especially the hot chicks at the burger joint. Additionally, in my early 30’s, in an attempt to hold onto a fleeting youth, I would work out 4 times a week. I looked like a young Brad Pitt. Hot chicks at the gym would ask me what I do for a living, and I would say I flip burgers. They would shut me down before I could explain to them that the gig is just a stepping stone towards greener pastures. Maybe they sensed something, cos, unfortunately, I am still flipping burgers for the minimum wage.

King Friday
12-25-2022, 02:08 PM
But did you tell them you were a shutdown corner?

Anti-Polar Bear
12-25-2022, 02:38 PM
But did you tell them you were a shutdown corner?

Nah, don’t want them knowing I am old.

Anti-Polar Bear
12-25-2022, 11:10 PM
Couldn’t catch the game; flipping burgers. Looks like a puto Cardinal punk RB fumbled on 3rd and 1 with the putos clinging to a 3 points lead - in the clutch. Brady eventually led Bucfuckneers to victory - costing me my last parlay.

In the immortal words of Olivia Rodrigo, god, it’s brutal out there!

Btw, reading about the soccer World Cup, I learned that puto is Spanish for male prostitute.

Joemailman
12-26-2022, 10:00 PM
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Fk7ohPGacAAJ1ey?format=jpg&name=4096x4096