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GoPackGo
07-23-2007, 08:55 AM
1. Coin his own nickname.

2. Use a wallet that is fastened with Velcro.

3. Rank his friends in order of best, second best, and so on.

4. Hacky sack.

5. Name his penis his name plus junior.

6. Hang art with tape.

7. Hang The Scream, unless he stole it from the Munch museum in Oslo.

8. Ask a policeman, "You ever shoot anybody with that thing?"

9. Ask a woman, "Hey, you got a license for that ass?"

10. Skip.

11. Take a camera to a nude beach.

12. Let his father do his taxes.

13. Tap on the glass.

14. Shout out a response to "Are you ready to rock?"

15. Use the word collated on his resume.

16. Hold a weekly house meeting with roommates.

17. Name pets after Middle Earth characters.

18. Jokingly flash gang signs while posing for wedding photos.

19. Give shout-outs.

20. Use numbers in place of words or locations, such as "the 411" for information, or "the 313" for Detroit.

21. Hug amusement-park characters.

22. Wear Disney-themed neckties.

23. Wake up to a "morning zoo."

24. Compare the trajectory of his life with those of the characters in Billy Joel's "Scenes from an Italian Restaurant."

25. Request extra sprinkles.

26. Air drum.

27. Choose 69 as his jersey number.

28. Eat Oreo cookies in stages.

29. Volunteer to be a magician's assistant.

30. Sleep on a bare mattress.

31. End a conversation with "later skater."

32. Hold his lighter up at a concert.

33. Publicly greet friends by shouting, "What's up, you whore?"

34. Wear Converse All Stars with a tuxedo.

35. Propose via stadium Jumbotron.

36. Decide anything based on the ruminations of Howard Stern.

37. Call "shotgun" before getting in a car.

38. Dispute someone else's call of "shotgun."

39. Whine.

40. Mist up during Aerosmith's "Dream On."

41. Purchase fireworks.

42. Google the word vagina.

43. Ride a pony.

44. Sport an ironic mustache.

45. Hit 13 against a 6.

46. Organize a party bus.

47. Say "two points" every time he throws something in the trash.

48. Buy a novelty postcard in another country of topless women on a beach and write, "Wish you were here" on it.

49. Keg stands.

50. Purchase home-brewing paraphernalia.

51. The John Travolta point-to-the-ceiling-point-to-the-floor dance move; also that one from Pulp Fiction.

52. Put less than ten dollars' worth of gas in the tank.

53. Keep a minuscule amount of marijuana extremely well hidden.

54. Read The Fountainhead.

55. Watch the Pink Floyd laser light show at a planetarium.

56. Refer to his girlfriend's breasts as "the twins."

57. Own a vanity plate.

58. Whippits.

59. Say goodbye to anyone by tapping his chest and even so much as whispering, "Peace out."

Zool
07-23-2007, 09:05 AM
I dont want to live in a world where I cant eat my Oreo cookies in stages.

Also, you're never too old to call shotgun if your buddy has a Honda or a Volkswagon.

mraynrand
07-24-2007, 12:49 PM
"45. Hit 13 against a 6. "


????????

Zool
07-24-2007, 12:51 PM
"45. Hit 13 against a 6. "


????????

If you have 13 and the dealer is showing a 6 you assume the dealer has a 16 and hold cause the dealer must hit.

I think.

GoPackGo
07-24-2007, 01:00 PM
Thats right (blackjack strategy)

Freak Out
07-24-2007, 01:34 PM
41. Purchase fireworks.

50. Purchase home-brewing paraphernalia.



WTF is wrong with these two?
We put on a New Years fireworks show that rivals the ski resorts where we stay and I have brewed for many years. :glug:

Harlan Huckleby
07-24-2007, 04:54 PM
I find so many things offensive about this list, I don't know where to start ... but how about with the 30-year cutoff. 30 isn't too old for anything, it's the new 19. I still haven't got around to doing everything on that list, but I will.


5. Name his penis his name plus junior.
this is not wrong, it's funny. my name is dick, so it's really really funny.


8. Ask a policeman, "You ever shoot anybody with that thing?"
Again, I only wish I had thought of it myself.


42. Google the word vagina.
first link: Your Vagina: Get To Know It Better
I'm not afraid to take the road less travelled.


54. Read The Fountainhead.
OK, I'll give you this one. But the rest are fine. Especially skipping.

mraynrand
07-25-2007, 11:19 AM
54. Read The Fountainhead.
OK, I'll give you this one. But the rest are fine. Especially skipping.

What about re-reading the Fountainhead after 30? Elsworth Toohey = Paul Krugman

Harlan Huckleby
07-25-2007, 03:50 PM
What about re-reading the Fountainhead after 30? Elsworth Toohey = Paul Krugman

Hah! I was hoping to get under your skin. Maybe I should actually read one of those AR books. If nothing else, I will find material to validate my smugness.

I just read two books by Kurt Vonnegut, "Breakfast of Champions" & "Cat's Cradle". They were clever & smart-alecky, but I did think I would have been more thrilled with them back in highschool, or at least before I was 30.

mraynrand
07-26-2007, 10:55 AM
What about re-reading the Fountainhead after 30? Elsworth Toohey = Paul Krugman

Hah! I was hoping to get under your skin. Maybe I should actually read one of those AR books. If nothing else, I will find material to validate my smugness.

I just read two books by Kurt Vonnegut, "Breakfast of Champions" & "Cat's Cradle". They were clever & smart-alecky, but I did think I would have been more thrilled with them back in highschool, or at least before I was 30.

I agree about Cat's Cradle. I read Fountainhead and Vonnegut in 10th grade. What I liked about Rand back then was the idea that men (and women, 'shut up Stan, you're putting us off!') could achieve such greatness and life could have such grand purpose. Then I got my first job...LOL.