Oh, Look! A Train Wreck!

[K-town]

From theSuperficial.com:

Lindsay Lohan was arrested early this morning in Los Angeles for a DUI, driving on a suspended license, and possession of narcotics. She was stopped after cops got a call that she was chasing another vehicle, and when they pulled her over her blood alcohol level was between 0.12 and 0.13 (the legal limit is 0.08) and the police found cocaine in her pants pocket. The Santa Monica Police Department took her into custody and she was later released on $25,000 bail.

This is just shocking. Everybody knows she's wearing an alcohol-monitoring anklet so how could she possibly have gotten drunk? Oh wait, that's right, because she put it on herself and nobody fucking checks it. She might as well have glued two travel-sized cereal boxes to her ankle.

[BallHawk]

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/graphics/packageart/mugshots/lohanmug1.jpg

[BallHawk]

BTW, if anybody quotes that and gives a one word response, I'll convince Mad to ban you. :D :wink:

[K-town]

More from theSuperficial:

Turns out Lindsay Lohan's assistant quit hours before Lindsay was arrested, and when the assistant's mom came to pick her up, Lindsay started chasing them in her car. The assistant's mom freaked out and called the police, telling them that Lindsay was following them and that she was going to go to the nearest police station.

Can you imagine looking in your rear view mirror and seeing a drunk Lindsay Lohan chasing you down in her car? And she's probably shaking her fist out the window and dozing in and out of sleep. That has to be one of the scariest sights imaginable. I'd rather see Godzilla in my rear view mirror. Or a missile.

[K-town]

And even more:

"Addiction is a terrible and vicious disease. Since Lindsay transitioned to outpatient care, she has been monitored on a SCRAM bracelet and tested daily in order to support her sobriety. Throughout this period, I have received timely and accurate reports from the testing companies. Unfortunately, late yesterday I was informed that Lindsay had relapsed. The bracelet has now been removed. She is safe, out of custody and presently receiving medical care."

It's probably smart that Lindsay didn't check back into Promises, since they haven't managed to help a single person. One of these days somebody is going to do a little research and it's going to turn out Promises isn't even a rehab facility, but a used car dealership or something.

[MJZiggy]

And even more:

It's probably smart that Lindsay didn't check back into Promises, since they haven't managed to help a single person. One of these days somebody is going to do a little research and it's going to turn out Promises isn't even a rehab facility, but a used car dealership or something.

Very exclusive resort hotel. Only the worst of the best can get in.

[K-town]

And finally, one last one from theSuperficial:

Britney Spears arranged a photo shoot and interview with OK! Magazine that went so wrong the execs at OK! were debating whether to show what actually happened, fearing the photos could ruin Britney's career and destroy the magazine's relationship with her. Well turns out they've decided to run them as is. The editor in chief says:

"OK! Magazine spent a heartbreaking day with Britney Spears and witnessed first-hand an emotional cry for help that will leave you shocked and sad. This week, on newsstands Friday, the truth will be told."
According to TMZ this is some of the nonsense that happened during the shoot:

Britney's behavior during the interview was "nothing less than a meltdown." She was "completely out of it" during the shoot ... Brit Brit's eyes rolled back in her head at one point, causing her to look half dead. Her mood, we're told, was extremely erratic. She took frequent bathroom breaks and each time she returned her mood would change. She was also completely paranoid during the entire interview, fearing at one point the ceiling was about to cave in on her ... At one point, Britney ordered up some fried chicken to munch on ... after she chowed down, she wiped her hands on a several thousand dollar Gucci dress that she was wearing for the shoot, staining it with grease. One of her dogs also needed some assistance in the housebreaking department. Our on-set spy says that the dog pooped all over the floor, and Brit used (what else?) -- a Chanel dress to clean it up! As for how Brit looked for the photos, another nightmare. We've learned that OK! hired two of the best hair and makeup artists in L.A. to transform the once-bald beauty into something more presentable, but she wasn't havin' none of that. She refused to let the hired help touch her, opting instead for her "skanky friends" to do her hair and makeup.
This sounds like a bunch of marketing but we'll see. I can't imagine anything that happened during the photo shoot could top what we've already seen. The only way the photos could make her look any worse is if she's kicking a box of kittens down the stairs or something. And even then it'd be iffy.

[the_idle_threat]

K-town, your sig says it all:


"What's one more torpedo in a sinking ship?"
Lynn Dickey, 1984


Seriously, it's getting to be time for Lohan to get the Paris treatment.

[Freak Out]

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/graphics/packageart/mugshots/lohanmug1.jpg

Ok then...two words...
Who cares?

[the_idle_threat]

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/graphics/packageart/mugshots/lohanmug1.jpg

http://i125.photobucket.com/albums/p53/the_idle_threat/hititstick.jpg

[the_idle_threat]

Double post! :five:

[GrnBay007]

Britney's behavior during the interview was "nothing less than a meltdown." She was "completely out of it" during the shoot ... Brit Brit's eyes rolled back in her head at one point, causing her to look half dead. Her mood, we're told, was extremely erratic. She took frequent bathroom breaks and each time she returned her mood would change. She was also completely paranoid during the entire interview, fearing at one point the ceiling was about to cave in on her ... At one point, Britney ordered up some fried chicken to munch on ... after she chowed down, she wiped her hands on a several thousand dollar Gucci dress that she was wearing for the shoot, staining it with grease. One of her dogs also needed some assistance in the housebreaking department. Our on-set spy says that the dog pooped all over the floor, and Brit used (what else?) -- a Chanel dress to clean it up! As for how Brit looked for the photos, another nightmare. We've learned that OK! hired two of the best hair and makeup artists in L.A. to transform the once-bald beauty into something more presentable, but she wasn't havin' none of that. She refused to let the hired help touch her, opting instead for her "skanky friends" to do her hair and makeup.
This sounds like a bunch of marketing but we'll see. I can't imagine anything that happened during the photo shoot could top what we've already seen. The only way the photos could make her look any worse is if she's kicking a box of kittens down the stairs or something. And even then it'd be iffy. [/i]

Geez, get those kids out of her care!! Why do they always wait for something HORRIBLE to happen to the innocent kids before they remove them? Hopefully she has a round the clock nanny caring for them.

[Freak Out]

From theSuperficial.com:

This is just shocking. Everybody knows she's wearing an alcohol-monitoring anklet so how could she possibly have gotten drunk? Oh wait, that's right, because she put it on herself and nobody fucking checks it. She might as well have glued two travel-sized cereal boxes to her ankle.

Wait a second here..I missed the "anklet" part. WTF? What is an alcohol-monitoring anklet?

[Iron Mike]

From theSuperficial.com:

This is just shocking. Everybody knows she's wearing an alcohol-monitoring anklet so how could she possibly have gotten drunk? Oh wait, that's right, because she put it on herself and nobody fucking checks it. She might as well have glued two travel-sized cereal boxes to her ankle.

Wait a second here..I missed the "anklet" part. WTF? What is an alcohol-monitoring anklet?

http://www.alcoholmonitoring.com/

[GBRulz]

I don't get why the media is so obsessed with the trainwreck trio. Britney, Paris and Lindsay.

The sad part is, every one of these girls is often seen out partying with their Moms. Great example to teach your kids.

[Harlan Huckleby]

the trainwreck trio. Britney, Paris and Lindsay.

It seems like Nicole Ricci wants to join the club, but she's stuck down on the B-list.

Although nobody asked, my To-Do List would be ranked this way:
1 Lindsay
2 Paris
3 Britney
4 Nicole

[Scott Campbell]

I remember as a young man the painstaking effort we used to put into getting our dates drunk. Kids these days have it so easy.

[Jerry Tagge]

What's more likely to happen first - Lindsay Lohan's death or her 25th birthday?

[Freak Out]

the trainwreck trio. Britney, Paris and Lindsay.

It seems like Nicole Ricci wants to join the club, but she's stuck down on the B-list.

Although nobody asked, my To-Do List would be ranked this way:
1 Lindsay
2 Paris
3 Britney
4 Nicole

I would remove Nicole from the list (not into the death camp look) and move Britney up a notch.

[Jerry Tagge]

the trainwreck trio. Britney, Paris and Lindsay.

It seems like Nicole Ricci wants to join the club, but she's stuck down on the B-list.

Although nobody asked, my To-Do List would be ranked this way:
1 Lindsay
2 Paris
3 Britney
4 Nicole

I would remove Nicole from the list (not into the death camp look) and move Britney up a notch.
I remove Nicole Richie and put Rosie O'Donnell at #1.

[oregonpackfan]

I remember as a young man the painstaking effort we used to put into getting our dates drunk. Kids these days have it so easy.

I hear you Scott. Nowdays it is most likely the guy who wonders, "I think she is trying to rob me of my innocence!"

[GrnBay007]

I remember as a young man the painstaking effort we used to put into getting our dates drunk. Kids these days have it so easy.

I hear you Scott. Nowdays it is most likely the guy who wonders, "I think she is trying to rob me of my innocence!"

LOL, yes, those poor sex driven hormonal boys. :roll: :roll: :roll:

[K-town]

The Insider spoke with a Lohan insider, Gina Glickman, who explained the events as they really happened. Gina claims Lindsay wasn’t drinking at all, but then she did. And she wasn’t chasing her assistant, she was being chased by the paparazzi. And those pants with the cocaine in them? Not even hers. They were someone else’s. Gina says,

Lindsay was having a get together at her home. Several people will say she wasn’t drinking, that she didn’t even have a drink but at a certain point in the night, apparently, she fell off the wagon and did start drinking.
When assistant Tarin Graham walked into the house, looking disheveled with teary red eyes, Lindsay was concerned that something had happened to her.
There was some sort of altercation. Tarin either quit or Lindsay fired her. Tarin left and Lindsay followed.
There were definitely two people in the car with Lindsay that night.
Tarin’s mother apparently made a police call b/c she was afraid someone was chasing her.
Right now, they don’t know who may have been chasing her. It could have been paparazzi.
When the cops arrived, there were so many people in the parking lot that they automatically zeroed in on Lindsay. Apparently the altercation toook place at about 1:30 in the a.m.
Lindsay was strong-armed into taking a breathalyzer test. They say the cocaine was not Lindsay’s, she was wearing someone else’s pants.
It all makes sense now. Not only is Lindsay an idiot, everyone around her is as well. I like the part about how Lindsay was strong-armed into taking a breathalyzer. Even better is the “someone else’s pants” theory. I want to be there when she uses that excuse and the whole courtroom points and laughs at her. It’ll probably be the first time a case is thrown out because the judge was rolling on the floor laughing for about 2 hours.

I myself plan on using the "someone else's pants" defense. It sounds so credible. Other alternatives include:
"Someone else's brain"
"Someone else's (fill in the anatomical reference)"