Michael Vick: 'I Also Ate Kittens'

[the_idle_threat]

Michael Vick: 'I Also Ate Kittens'

RICHMOND, VA—In yet another installment in his series of recent confessional and contrite televised press conferences, suspended Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick apologized to his fans, teammates, and the National Football League on Wednesday for devouring the living flesh of four-to-eight-week-old kittens. "I did not by any means eat kittens for every meal, but I cannot deny I ate them," said Vick, saying he felt that although this was not necessarily the best time, he should just come clean. "Kittens just taste really good, as their meat is lean, yet tender and surprisingly juicy. Oh, and eating them is wrong—I know that now, and I am sorry." Vick added that he and unnamed companions would work up such an appetite from a long day of fighting, forcibly breeding, and slaughtering dogs that they could barely contain themselves and would often snap off their furry little heads and suck out the insides before they even left the parking lot, a practice of which he is now "very ashamed."


http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/michael_vick_i_also_ate

[Harlan Huckleby]

you can't hold it against a guy for wanting to eat a little pussy

[the_idle_threat]

:rs:


This is true.

[KYPack]

In a related note, Vick does something else stupid dept........


http://www.tmz.com/2007/09/04/humane-society-auctions-off-vicks-talking-points/
--------------------------------------------------------
"Humane Society Auctions Off Vick's Note to Self
Posted Sep 4th 2007 1:25PM by TMZ Staff
Filed under: Celebrity Justice

On August 27, Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick plead guilty to a dogfighting charge, and the following day held a press conference in Richmond, Virg., apologizing for his involvement in the Bad Newz Kennels dogfighting ring.

After Vick's four-minute speech, a rep with the Humane Society of the United States went up to the podium to retrieve his microphone, and found the note left by Vick containing his talking points.

Vick's big idea: apologize, apologize, apologize. The six-point speech calls for him to "apologize for what I've done;" apologize to his coach and team; tell young kids that "I acted immature;" ask for "forgiveness and understanding;" "take full responsibility for my actions;" and remind people that "we all make mistakes."

At the very bottom of the note was a reminder that "dogs have suffered."

"Watching video of the event, I recall Vick reading through his talking points. I don't recall him getting to those words at the end. No, for some reason, he didn't get to the dogs on whom he inflicted such tortures," wrote Humane Society blogger Wayne Pacelle on A Humane Nation. "The biggest apology of all was left unspoken-to the dogs who suffered and who died so horribly at his hand."


Vick supposedly failed to discard his speaking notes after his press conference. Are they on eBay? Some say they are......

[KYPack]

Whoaa!

Maybe this is real.

$10,100.

77 Bids.

A week to go in the bidding?

Another sign of the apocalypse.