GrnBay007
01-05-2008, 10:28 AM
LOL some of these are pretty good.
I'm sure some of you can think of some great ones to add......
These NFL resolutions oughta stick
by Jay Glazer
http://msn.foxsports.com/other/story/7636980
Tom Brady — I resolve to join a church, temple, mosque, parish and anywhere else I can thank God. I've got to be the luckiest SOB on the planet. Supermodels, actresses, MVPs, Moss, Belichick, crib in Beantown, loft in the Big Apple. Seriously, I need to go pray right now. I also vow to find whoever gave NFL Network my combine film and beat that man to a pulp. Oh, and then ask for forgiveness.
Arthur Blank — I vow to not shake Bill Parcells' hand at this year's owners meeting, not ever. Not in a box, not with a fox. I will not eat green eggs and Tuna. Oh, and I'll probably close up all Home Depots in the state of Arkansas.
Michael Vick — I resolve to honorably serve my entire jail term without ever once venturing into the shower. Hey, can't blame you for that one buddy.
Bill Belichick — I resolve to sign my first fashion deal. In staying with my incredibly hip style, I've made my decision and will be coming out with the Bill Belichick 2008 Grrranimals Coach Wear Line. It's going to be hot. Hot I tell ya. Hot.
Michael Strahan — I vow not to go to training camp next season, one way or the other.
Brett Favre — I resolve to, um, well ... I'll let you know my resolution when I'm ready. I'm going to go home, spend some time with the fam and I'll make my resolution known when it's right.
Ricky Williams — I resolve to not watch "Half Baked" for the 1,362nd time. I just get so homesick.
Tony Romo — I vow not to go out with Britney Spears. Carrie Underwood and Jessica Simpson, that's like dating the Pope compared to Spears. Yeah, I'm pretty sure you'll never, ever see her in my suite.
Brett Favre — Sorry, I'm still not ready to tell you what my resolution is.
Joe Gibbs — I resolve to spend this off-season reading the whole entire rule book, cover to cover. I may even try to remember some of it.
Philip Rivers and LaDainian Tomlinson — We vow to head to a marriage counseling retreat in the mountains somewhere and truly solidify what should be a blossoming relationship. We can't fight next season like we did this year. Kumbaya my Norv, kumbaya.
Donovan McNabb — I resolve to invite Pam Oliver to dinner and give her the exclusive interview when I join my new team. Ya know, the new team I denied I said I'd be going to after Oliver reported a few weeks back that I'd go to my next place with a smile.
Roger Goodell — I vow not to invite Michael Vick and Pacman Jones to my birthday party.
Vinny Testaverde — My new year's resolution is to take a loooooooong, hot bath.
Pacman Jones — I vow to never go to a club again. Wait, there's an announcement coming over the loudspeaker. "Attention gentleman, now on the center stage, get those singles ready for the lovely Candy." Ahhh, who the heck am I kidding, gotta go.
Sean Payton — I resolve to go to Deuce McAllister's house every day if I have to and nurse him back to health. Man, we sure did miss him a lot more than I ever knew.
Adrian Peterson — I resolve to change my running style a bit, just so I can stay around a bit longer and prolong my career. Don't get me wrong, I love running over and through guys. It's so much fun. But I won't be long for this league if I throw my fastball at every man I see.
Tony Dungy — I vow to stay classy.
Bobby Petrino — I vow to always lack class.
Eric Mangini — I vow to call Rivers and L.T., find out where they go for their relationship therapy and reconnect with my man Belichick. Bill, you ... complete me.
Bill Parcells — I resolve to tell ESPN the next time I make a move. No seriously, this time I'll do it way before it gets out. Seriously, I will. Serious.
Brett Favre — I'll resolve to let you all know what my resolution is at my charity golf tournament in May ... if I'm ready.
I'm sure some of you can think of some great ones to add......
These NFL resolutions oughta stick
by Jay Glazer
http://msn.foxsports.com/other/story/7636980
Tom Brady — I resolve to join a church, temple, mosque, parish and anywhere else I can thank God. I've got to be the luckiest SOB on the planet. Supermodels, actresses, MVPs, Moss, Belichick, crib in Beantown, loft in the Big Apple. Seriously, I need to go pray right now. I also vow to find whoever gave NFL Network my combine film and beat that man to a pulp. Oh, and then ask for forgiveness.
Arthur Blank — I vow to not shake Bill Parcells' hand at this year's owners meeting, not ever. Not in a box, not with a fox. I will not eat green eggs and Tuna. Oh, and I'll probably close up all Home Depots in the state of Arkansas.
Michael Vick — I resolve to honorably serve my entire jail term without ever once venturing into the shower. Hey, can't blame you for that one buddy.
Bill Belichick — I resolve to sign my first fashion deal. In staying with my incredibly hip style, I've made my decision and will be coming out with the Bill Belichick 2008 Grrranimals Coach Wear Line. It's going to be hot. Hot I tell ya. Hot.
Michael Strahan — I vow not to go to training camp next season, one way or the other.
Brett Favre — I resolve to, um, well ... I'll let you know my resolution when I'm ready. I'm going to go home, spend some time with the fam and I'll make my resolution known when it's right.
Ricky Williams — I resolve to not watch "Half Baked" for the 1,362nd time. I just get so homesick.
Tony Romo — I vow not to go out with Britney Spears. Carrie Underwood and Jessica Simpson, that's like dating the Pope compared to Spears. Yeah, I'm pretty sure you'll never, ever see her in my suite.
Brett Favre — Sorry, I'm still not ready to tell you what my resolution is.
Joe Gibbs — I resolve to spend this off-season reading the whole entire rule book, cover to cover. I may even try to remember some of it.
Philip Rivers and LaDainian Tomlinson — We vow to head to a marriage counseling retreat in the mountains somewhere and truly solidify what should be a blossoming relationship. We can't fight next season like we did this year. Kumbaya my Norv, kumbaya.
Donovan McNabb — I resolve to invite Pam Oliver to dinner and give her the exclusive interview when I join my new team. Ya know, the new team I denied I said I'd be going to after Oliver reported a few weeks back that I'd go to my next place with a smile.
Roger Goodell — I vow not to invite Michael Vick and Pacman Jones to my birthday party.
Vinny Testaverde — My new year's resolution is to take a loooooooong, hot bath.
Pacman Jones — I vow to never go to a club again. Wait, there's an announcement coming over the loudspeaker. "Attention gentleman, now on the center stage, get those singles ready for the lovely Candy." Ahhh, who the heck am I kidding, gotta go.
Sean Payton — I resolve to go to Deuce McAllister's house every day if I have to and nurse him back to health. Man, we sure did miss him a lot more than I ever knew.
Adrian Peterson — I resolve to change my running style a bit, just so I can stay around a bit longer and prolong my career. Don't get me wrong, I love running over and through guys. It's so much fun. But I won't be long for this league if I throw my fastball at every man I see.
Tony Dungy — I vow to stay classy.
Bobby Petrino — I vow to always lack class.
Eric Mangini — I vow to call Rivers and L.T., find out where they go for their relationship therapy and reconnect with my man Belichick. Bill, you ... complete me.
Bill Parcells — I resolve to tell ESPN the next time I make a move. No seriously, this time I'll do it way before it gets out. Seriously, I will. Serious.
Brett Favre — I'll resolve to let you all know what my resolution is at my charity golf tournament in May ... if I'm ready.