Originally Posted by
Anti-Polar Bear
WHAT???!!! Fuck you, Brandon!!!
Around this time last year I was in Green Bay to meet up for a drink with Harrell at the “Oval Office.” Stopped by a Green Bay branch of the Canadian bank where I deposit my minimum-wage paychecks, to cash out a check. Since I was meeting up with Harrell at a strip joint, I asked the hot teller for a wad of Washingtons.
Afterwards, I saw none other than ole Brandon waiting in line, a-holding a thick blue plastic bag, presumably at the bank to deposit his gambling winnings.
I was like, “S’up, playa.”
Brandon noticed my wad, and asked, “Whatcha got there, peon?”
“Fruits of my labor,” I replied. “Hitting the strip joint with Harrell.”
“Fuck that motherfucker,” he said. “Say, how much ya got there?”
“209 frogskins, homie.”
Brandon looked surprised. “What, you make the minimum-wage? The system is failing you, bro.”
I nodded my head in approval.
Brandon smiled and said, “Say, why don’t you give me your wad and I’ll put it on the Packers at -669 to win the Super Bowl.”
“I ain’t no gambler, homie. -669 translates into what, homie?
Brandon was like, “It’s kinda complex. Don’t worry about it. I can confidently assure you that if the Packers win the Super Bowl, with your 209 at -669, you ain’t got to work again - ever. Retire somewhere exotic and live the rest of your life drenched in erotic amores.”
Brandon had me at erotic. I transferred the wad over to him.
Thanks to Aaron “Fumble in the Clutch” Jones, Kevin “Got Beat By a White WR” King and Matt “Surrender Monkey” (go for it, you fucking French coward!!!) LaFleur, I’ll never get my hard-earned wad back, plus the sumptuous profit of -669.