hi,
I was just thinking about this deal where the Jihadist martyrs go to heaven and are rewarded with 100 Virgins.
Why would anybody want 100 virgins? The first time ain't that fun. And think of all the laundry!
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hi,
I was just thinking about this deal where the Jihadist martyrs go to heaven and are rewarded with 100 Virgins.
Why would anybody want 100 virgins? The first time ain't that fun. And think of all the laundry!
I think it's more like 72 virgins - or something. But still, having a haram of women to choose from for 'eternity' seems reasonable :cool:Quote:
Originally Posted by Harlan Huckleby
Virgins are like clay, you can mold them however you wish. You know, mold one for doggy style, one for anal pleasures, one for broccoli and cheese...... all the normal stuff.
And why are all of the virigins hanging out in heaven, waiting for martyrs? Sounds like that psycho castle in Holy Grail.....
So, heaven is filled with virgins and, by that logic, hell is filled with experienced sluts from the Vivid Video catalog?
Sounds like the choice is simple. I'm going surfin' on the lakes of fire...
tyler
Oh, I'm down with the harem. I just don't want to deal with all those first nights.Quote:
Originally Posted by Fosco33
Ideally, my harem would be prepped by having sex with a man with a tiny penis who smells bad. After that, they'd think I'm great. In other words, let Nutz have his way with them first.
LMFAO - I used to say that if God was really as strict as many ultra religious conservatives agree that 99.9% of people will end up in hell. Now - who would you rather hang out w/ for eternity - some crazed zealouts and angels or the party people.Quote:
Originally Posted by jacks smirking revenge
I totally agree. I'm chilling (or roasting, whichever mythology you subscribe to) with the party people. I'm sure there will be all sorts of horned demons with barbed whips and forked tongues and all sorts of other nightmares to deal with, but, hell, the bars and strip clubs are probably worth it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Fosco33
tyler
Like I tell all my friends: when I die and go to hell, I'll save y'all a seat at the bar.
How come my religion doesn't promise me 100 of the freshest pussies in the after life?
Because the checks you write aren't big enough to secure that.... Just be thankful that you're not destined to be the pool cue in a gay bar in your afterlife.Quote:
Originally Posted by Nutz
tyler
What if that's what hell really is??? :shock:Quote:
Originally Posted by jacks smirking revenge
I'm just assuming that would be hell for Nutz. I'm going to suspect those who swing that way wouldn't mind so much being the pool cue in a gay bar. In fact, it may be heaven to such a person.Quote:
Originally Posted by MJZiggy
Nutz, however, would probably rather be the toilet seat in the Playboy Mansion (a version of hell in itself--you always get to touch, but never taste).
tyler
What happens to the women when they aren't virgins anymore? do they get to stay or are they sent to hell for committing a sin?
do you get to order more virgins or is it strictly 72 or 100 and thats it?
Uh-oh. A loophole. Hold on. I'm on the phone with God now. Good thing its not a spa day for him. I'd be on hold forever.Quote:
Originally Posted by pacfan
God says that a used virgin becomes part of his personal harem. And, yes, he understands that such an arrangement suggests that he's aligned with hell too. He offers that such a paradox cannot be understood by the human brain or defined by human sexual experience. He says that he's got the best harem in the universe, the envy of all other gods.
He also says that the Powerball numbers for Saturday are 12-23-56....awww...crap...I lost coverage. Sorry.
tyler
I heard a good one the other day. Islamofascist blows himself up killing innocent Iraqis, goes to 'heaven' and discovers he gets one 72 year old virgin instead of 72 virgins. Oh, and the gates to heaven are guarded by the 17 Navymen from the U.S.S. Cole.
When OBL dies instead of him meeting 72 virgins, I hope he meets a 72 year old virgin........Quote:
Originally Posted by Fosco33
Quote:
Originally Posted by ranks66
If disease free, wouldn't you want 72 past hookers that look like Ranks avatar rather than virgins ? Why break anybody in when you can have the experts ?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bretsky
Brets,
If 18 year olds taste like candy, what do 72 year olds taste like ?
Answer : Depends
I wonder what Tank was promised to start his Jihad against the Polar Bear.
72 pot plants.Quote:
Originally Posted by Scott Campbell
Extra virgin...Quote:
Originally Posted by Fosco33
:D
tyler
Nooo !Quote:
Originally Posted by pacfan
Then. . . they get to do the laundry, and work over the really hot stove ,wash and wax floors and keep their complaints among themselves or get shipped off. . . to eat salted fish and dry bread with a little non-aged wine with Jaaaaasuuusss!.
Do I hear an "Amen"...oh, wait....probably not where we are. :wink:Quote:
Originally Posted by jacks smirking revenge
I find it kind of funny how people make off the wall comments about something they know nothing about. Really immature if u ask me.
sounds like you just met tank :mrgreen:Quote:
Originally Posted by PaCkFan_n_MD
Quote:
Originally Posted by PaCkFan_n_MD
:roll:
Is there something we don't know about the whole 72 virgins thing that will shed new light and cause it to ... I dunno ... make sense? If so, then please share. :lol:
Some web info... not that it helps me 'make sense' of this-
Particularly since September 2001, it is essential to understand the Islamic motivation of suicide terrorists.
"Shahada," or Death for Allah, as a religious tenet of Palestinian Islam, is different than "Martyrdom" in the Judeo-Christian tradition. In Palestinian Islam, a person must aspire to die for Allah, or he is not a complete Muslim. The promotion of Shahada includes promises of heavenly rewards, including 72 virgins of Paradise. Jihad, or war for Allah, is said to be a religious necessity, the only way to honor, in PA religious ideology.
It must be stressed that in this collection, Palestinian Media Watch is not looking to comment on Islam as a religion, but rather only those aspect of Islam that the Palestinian Authority has chosen to emphasize.
The Islamist View
The basis for the Islamist view - which is not supported by the majority of moderate Muslims - is that the individual undertaking a suicide bombing (the term they commonly use is "martyrdom operation") is doing what that individual understands is his/her Islamic duty, and thus regards their own life, in this world, as but a stage, a path, toward the next, and eternal, life. These radical schools of Islam teach that such a "martyrdom operation" may result in them be rewarded, by Allah, with Paradise (Jannah) and rewards such as 72 virgins in the afterlife; they derive the latter from an interpretation of the Qur'an An-Naba 78:31-34, and the hadith Sunan al-Tirmidhi 2687.http://www.pmw.org.il/tv%20part10.html That is, they are willing to sacrifice their own life in the hope of becoming a Shaheed, a martyr.
Scary that they consider jihad and martyrdom a duty. What would happen if the whole world were Muslim? Who would that jihad be against then?
Only a small faction of this religion believes in this practice. Jews and Christians have some interesting practices in the extreme as well - not including suicide bombings but still (speaking in tongues, self mutilation, etc....).Quote:
Originally Posted by MJZiggy
I think if the whole world were one of anything (race, ethnicity, religion) - peace could be more reasonable. But then, we'd just find other ways to divide ourselves (muscular vs. skinny, thin vs. fat, long hair vs short hair, tall vs. short, etc). It's in our genes to want more power than we when came into the world and that generally means overtaking someone else - usually it's easier to do this if you can demean your opponent.
I think religion is the main reason why theirs not peace. And not the fact that people have different religions, but that they don’t follow whatever religion they believe in. I don’t care if your Christian, Jewish or Muslim, no were in any religion does it say to do wrong to others, steal, kill, hate, etc. etc. Its not just enough to go to church or whatever a call yourself a Christian for example. What really counts is what you do after you leave your place of worship.
My personal belief is that this world is all a test and will determine were you will be in the next. That’s exactly why any chance I have to do good I do. And if you think about it how long do any of us have to live, what other 40 years, this life will end and all you’ll have left from it is what you did in it.