First Annual “Jace Stergberger Male Model” award

[Anti-Polar Bear]

Those god durn kids these days, with their long hair and idiotic clothes! The boys look like girls! Get a haircut! Why can’t they stand up straight and show some respect. By gum, when I was their age I had a crew cut and I was walking through a damn jungle. We had respect in those days.

Well, except when I went on leave and a couple of us fellas would get some hashish - my god, the highest-quality in the world, and then we’d find some hookers. They were young, those girls, and nobody over there was keeping track of whether they were 18 or not. Some of ‘em looked pretty young - oh, they were wild, too, you could make’em do anything. Sometimes some of the fellas got a little rough with those girls, but we were all so damn high, and boys will be boys.

Then I come home and got married to my high school sweet heart. I calmed down then, grew up you might say, and I only ever beat her when she needed it. Same with my kids.

These god damn kids today. I’m telling you, this new generation, I don’t know what the hell is wrong with them. We sure as hell weren’t like them.

Didn’t realize you were in Nam. Probably bunked next to Tex and didn’t realize it. Knowing Tex, though, dude probably faked an injury to avoid deployment.

Yo Fritz, you’re an English professor. What’s the morality, if there is one, of “Lolita?”