Don't Be That Guy

[Badgerinmaine]

Well you're a hopeless boob man (there are other tits in the sea you know).

Then I must be going to the beach in the wrong damn places.

[MJZiggy]

South Beach. I wasn't warned ahead.

[Fritz]

But the old hottie now feels betrayed by MM and TT. She used to work so hard to get rid of that muffin top in the offseason, and now she's let it go, though she swears she's been working out and is getting into shape.

The old hottie has had latent disenfranchisement for a long time because the guy would never listen to him. If it wasn't for the pressure of the guy and all his friends (and the fact that she was getting paid millions to stay in the relatinship), she would have dumped him long ago. It was a flirtatious call by the guy's arch enemy that finally made her dump him once and for all after considering it many times in the past. She did it and actually thought seriously about taking him back once and then said she can't do it.

We've all seen these kinds of relationships. There is way too much bad history and it has run its course. No matter how bad the guy wants it to work, it won't. The old egotistical bitch who's getting a big ass doesn't really want it to. Her ego is too big to expect she'll change her ways and seriously diet. Now she just wants to do Adkins for a couple weeks and she thinks that'll get her back in shape. She's fighting a losing battle because as her body continues to age, her hips continue to widen. That's impossible to change. She's just running more and more on her past reputation and very soon, that's all she'll have left.

It's well past the time to go after the young hottie and start afresh.

Wow. You just described the last five years of my marriage. I just hope TT and MM learn more quickly than I did. And if the analogy holds true, by the way, then Favre did seduce the Queens and the tampering charges are true.

[Fritz]

i always got/get the baddest broad so chances are, ive already had my eyes on the young hottie and have planted the seed knowing full well that my girl is going off to college to get trains ran on her by the backup quarterback (not brett or arod) and a couple wideouts with 11 inch cocks.

either way, im going to get her (young one) and a few of her friends drunk, make them eat each other out while i watch and then talk (we'll call it talk) the freakiest one into a good ol game of ATM or ... ass to mouth if you're scoring at home.

I'm not really sure what you mean. Could you be a bit more explicit?

Wow.

[Badgerinmaine]

Wow. You just described the last five years of my marriage. I just hope TT and MM learn more quickly than I did.

I just hope your wife doesn't read these boards. :P

[Fritz]

Ex-wife. She asked me for the divorce last August. That's part of the analogy - the part about Favre asking for his release.

I wonder if Favre has the male equivalent of a muffin top now?

[Badgerinmaine]

Okay...this thread has me feeling like I am back in English Lit class in high school or college hunting for allegories and symbolism..."So you see, Captain Ahab represents Wade Phillips and his quest for a championship, symbolized by Moby Dick...or is it that Wade Phillips is the Great White Whale and TO is Captain Ahab...or maybe Tony Romo..."

[Fritz]

Let me 'splain, BadgerinMaine:

Brett Favre = the old high school hottie and - in part (so this is more metaphor than allegory) my ex-wife.

Aaron Rodgers = the hot sophomore chick

The Guy = TT and, perhaps, the fans.

Now, in Bretsky's world, we can have both Favre AND Rodgers, because Bretsky likes watching lesbians with big boobs. Make sense so far?

The "muffin top" reference regarding the old hottie suggests that Favre is not what he once was. In the allegorical reading of this, The Adkins diet referred to in an earlier post refers to Favre thinking he can get in shape by working out at a high school. In the more metaphorical reading about my ex-wife, the Adkins diet refereence is more literal than symbolic. In the Bretsky reading (hereafter known as the post-modernist gender and sexuality reading), it doesn't matter if one of the lesbians has a muffin top as long as her boobs are big. The vaguely homoerotic or even homosexual nature of the allegorical reading of this whole thing is also one that can be supported. TT is alleged to be a homosexual, as are most unmarried men, and of course once Bretsky introduced the lesbian component, the suggestion of a Favre/Rodgers intimate engagement reared its ugly head.

It's a mad, mad, mad, mad world.

[Badgerinmaine]

I'd gotten it pretty well through "make sense so far?" already, but I think I can pass the test now...I have had the prerequisite Bretsky courses in the Garbage Can.
"Ugly head", eh?

[MJZiggy]

Let's not go there...




Wait. You should know what a muffin top is. It's when a girl continues to wear the low-riding pants that once fit her well (or maybe they never did, who knows?) but now she's gained some weight and the fat bubbles over the waistband like a plumber named bubba (you know who you are, dude and I'll go ahead and say that you need bigger pants).

Anyway, the resulting effect resembles a muffin.