Originally posted by GrnBay007
You just hafta plan to not tailgate in the traditional sense.
You know the following:
1 Everyone will party the night before regardless if you "plan" not too
2 Everyone will be hungover and in need of several things that a tailgate part provides - nourishment, hydration, and most importantly .... more beer/booze.
You just gotta reach down into that 19 year old hardcore partier that's inside each and every one of us.....and let that partier take over for ......
TWO DAYS IN A ROW.
I know it's scary, you haven't done that since you can remember. Or wait, do you actually remember? Either way, you "Know" you can. Your friends all know you can. If you can't do that one time this year, and have it be for a Packer game at Lambeau - then you should decline your attendance.
Here's the plan.......
Have everyone meet at the tailgate location saturday so they know how to find it when they're hung over. And help to prepare.
Make sure someone brings a giant percolator type coffee maker. If someones got a camping van - they've just volunteered to be the meeting point. I suggest parking the van/rv in the meeting place the night before.
Kickoff is at noon. tailgate party begins as soon as the first person bangs on the door and looks at you with bloodshot eyes and stinkface/stinkbreath from the night before barely able to mumble.... "coffee" or "water" -or 10:30 am whichever comes first.
Proceed in this order:
Sunday
10:30am
Bust out the cooler already filled with bottled water and/or gatorade - chug one.
10:32
Start the friggin Coffee already you slow ass! (should be prepped and ready to go the night before, just plug it in and hit start)
10:33Smoke a cigarette while locating the nearest portapotty or toilet... and geezus man hand your fellow fan a friggin water.
10:42 Reach for the aformentioned Whiskey and Irish Cream - mix with coffee - begin to consume coffee with - or without additives
10:45 Fire up the barb-q - propane is best.
10:49 Slap that uncooked meat of that grill. (You prepped it the day before fer phaahks sake)
11:00am begin eating - continue consuming either water/gatorade/coffee/spiked coffee - as soon as you begin to wonder if you're "starting" to feel normal - grab a beer and chug it. Finish eating.
11:15 Cleanup - this consists of turning off the grill and tossing everything back into the van/rv like a kid cleaning his room by tossing everything into the closet.
11:20 - head to the facilities to urinate ONLY. You can take a crap during halftime. Hurry up - you're holding up the line.
11:30 Get your ass in line to get into the stadium. "Accidentally" bump into people and the feign (or legitamately) act as if you're gonna puke. I wouldn't lie - it works every time...right to the front of the line.
11:35 Head towards the bathroom closest to your seats. This can be found on the internet well in advance. Memorize it - like mission impossible. At the last minute, turn and head for your seats. Nobody will care at this point because the game is about to start.
12:00 noon - Watch the damn game already!
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