Favorite Bears Joke

[Scott Campbell]

List your favorite Bears joke.


Mine has to be how Brian's Song was such a sad movie..................


.........because only 1 Bear player died at the end.

[Smeefers]

The Chicago Bears signed Jay Cutler to a two-year extension. Or 100 fourth-quarter interceptions, whichever comes first.

[SkinBasket]

"I know their guy is red hot," Idonije said of Green Bay quarterback Aaron Rodgers. "But we've got a really good one over here, too."

He must do improv on Wednesdays.

[green_bowl_packer]

Brian Urlacher Theorizes Saturn Might Have Playoff Atmosphere

CHICAGO—Bears middle linebacker Brian Urlacher posited a new theory to his teammates Wednesday, speculating that the rapid rotation of Saturn, coupled with the planet's extreme conditions, greatly increase the likelihood that the gas giant has an amazing playoff atmosphere. "If I was on the visiting team, I wouldn't want to go there for a postseason game, because the environment would be incredibly hostile," Urlacher said. "The pressure just gets more intense the deeper you go, and the whole place just gets totally raucous because you've got to contend with 500 mph winds. Plus, the surface probably gets really slippery from the helium rain. Any team from Saturn who gets home-field advantage would make it to the Super Bowl easy." Although Urlacher claimed that the high concentration of hydrogen and trace amounts of methane, ammonia, phosphine, and acetylene would leave players gasping for breath, quarterback Jay Cutler insisted the thin Rocky Mountain air made INVESCO Field at Mile High a harder place to play.

http://www.onionsportsnetwork.com/articles/brian-urlacher-theorizes-saturn-might-have-playoff,18835/

[red]

what do you call a fat-assed, drunken, obnoxious, loud mouthed, fair weather asshole?


a FIB

[Packers4Glory]

here is the Packer joke being copy and pasted on FB here

A Bears fan, Packers fan and a Seahawks fan are climbing a mountain and arguing about who loves his team more. The Seahawks fan insists that he is the most loyal. "This is for the Seahawks!" He yells, and jumps off the side of the mountain. Not to be outdone, the Bears fan is next to profess his love ...for his team. He... yells, "this is for the Bears!" And pushes the Packers fan off the mountain... GO BEARS!!!!

[CaptainKickass]

Ok - I'll play:

Q: Why is there always a constant wind blowing in the southerly direction from Milwaukee?

A: Because Chicago sucks!

[Little Whiskey]

Why doesn't Iowa have a real professional football team?

because then illinois would want one.

[CaptainKickass]

.

Baby Bear was in family court. His parent were divorcing.
After hearing the arguments, the Judge decided to ask: "Baby Bear do you want to go live with your Father?"
Baby Bear responded: "No sir your honor, my father beats me."
The Judge replied: "Oh, OK. So then you must want to go live with your mother then, yes?"
Baby Bear began to tear up, but managed to spit out the words "No sir your honor, my mother beats me too"
The judge, feeling the strings of his heart being tugged upon, says: "Well Baby Bear - if you don't want to live with your mother, and you don't want to live with your father...then who DO you want to live with?"
The Baby Bear wipes his tears and gathers himself. He clears his throat and responds: "Your honor, I want to go live with the Chicago Bears, they don't beat anybody!"

[get louder at lambeau]

This is my favorite Bears joke is Rex Grossman.

[sheepshead]

How do you keep Bears out of your back yard? put up goal posts.

[Scott Campbell]

A Packer and Bear fan are walking through the woods when they come upon a sheep with it's head stuck in a fence. The Packer fan (probably Murphy) drops his pants and has his way with the sheep. Then the Packer fan says to the Bear fan "now it's your turn". So the Bear fan sticks his head in the fence.

[Iron Mike]

Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.

[Pugger]

Why doesn't Cutler talk on the phone?

Because he can't find the receiver.

[Packers4Glory]

here is the other retarded bears post making the rounds...


Cutler, who art in Chicago, Hallowed be thine arm. Thy bowl will come, it will be won, in Dallas as it was in Chicago. Give us this Sunday, our weekly win and forgive the less-passers as you will not let them pass against us. Lead us not into frustration, but deliver us from the Packers. For thine is the MVP, the best of the NFC, and glory of the Monsters of the Midway, now and forever. AMEN!! GO BEARS!!!