Favorite Bears Joke

[Pugger]

A Packer fan and a Priest are driving down the road when the Packer fan sees a Bear Fan walking across the street. He takes off and drives straight at the Bear fan. At the last minute he remembers he has the Priest with him and swerves to miss the Bear fan. He says to the Priest OMG Father I'm so sorry did I miss him? The Priest says "yeah, but don't worry I got him with the door!"

[Pugger]

Cheesehead Prayer

Now I lay me down to bed

A wedge of cheese upon my head

Allegiance to the Packers I promise to keep

Now I lay me down I promise to keep

and cheer them on while I'm asleep.



If I should die, don't let me wonder,

Just bury me 'neath the frozen tundra.

But, Lord, before you take my soul,

Let me see the Pack in one more Super Bowl.

Forgive me Lord, for those I hated,

The Lions and Vikings, they're overrated.

The streets of heaven, so I've been told,

Are paved for us in green and gold.

If I get to heaven I'll have only one wish,

A big screen TV with a satellite dish!

I pray for this Lord, for only one reason,

to cheer on my Pack to a winning season.

I'll close this prayer by thanking you Lord,

for listening to me and the time you afford.

But one more thing....please remember the Bears,

Because that's a team that hasn't a prayer !!!

[Jimx29]

Sooooo someone wrote in urine "Duh Bears Suck" in the snow of Jay Cutlers front yard. Chicago police said they would take a sample and get back to him when they figured it out. The next day they came back and said we have good news and bad news.. Good news its Clay Mathews urine....... Bad news its his Mothers hand writing!!!

[Packers4Glory]

Sooooo someone wrote in urine "Duh Bears Suck" in the snow of Jay Cutlers front yard. Chicago police said they would take a sample and get back to him when they figured it out. The next day they came back and said we have good news and bad news.. Good news its Clay Mathews urine....... Bad news its his Mothers hand writing!!!

Clay's mom wrote w/ Clay's penis?

thats how it read lol

[Packers4Glory]

Sooooo someone wrote in urine "Duh Bears Suck" in the snow of Jay Cutlers front yard. Chicago police said they would take a sample and get back to him when they figured it out. The next day they came back and said we have good news and bad news.. Good news its Clay Mathews urine....... Bad news its his Mothers hand writing!!!

oh yeah a bears fan tried that joke w/ it being Rodgers house and Urlacher's urine but the punch line was it was Aaron's Rodgers wife's writing....which is a fail because Rodgers isn't married yet. he's still crushing any pussy he wants.

[bobblehead]

Just got this in an email and had to bump the thread:

LITTLE KEVIN WAS IN HIS 5TH GRADE CLASS WHEN THE TEACHER ASKED THE CHILDREN WHAT THEIR FATHERS DID FOR A LIVING. ALL THE TYPICAL ANSWERS CAME UP: FIREMAN, POLICEMAN, SALESMAN, ETC.

KEVIN WAS BEING QUIET, SO THE TEACHER ASKED HIM ABOUT HIS FATHER.


LITTLE KEVIN SAYS: "MY FATHER'S AN EXOTIC DANCER IN A GAY BAR AND TAKES OFF ALL HIS CLOTHES IN FRONT OF OTHER MEN.

SOMETIMES, IF THE OFFERS REALLY GOOD, HE'LL GO OUT TO THE ALLEY WITH SOME GUY AND MAKE LOVE WITH HIM FOR MONEY."

THE TEACHER, OBVIOUSLY SHAKEN BY THIS STATEMENT, HURRIEDLY SET THE OTHER CHILDREN TO WORK ON SOME COLORING AND TOOK LITTLE KEVIN ASIDE TO ASK HIM: "IS THAT REALLY TRUE ABOUT YOUR FATHER?"

KEVIN SAID: "NO, HE PLAYS FOOTBALL FOR THE CHICAGO BEARS, BUT I WAS TOO EMBARRASSED TO SAY THAT IN FRONT OF THE OTHER KIDS

[vince]

[mraynrand]

... he's still crushing any pussy he wants.

when you put it that way, it sounds so appealing - like a Nine Inch Nails 'song'