Bear Preview

[pbmax]

Drew Magary writes this series "Why Your Team Sucks" for Deadspin every year. The schtick can get old as its the same formula for each team. But the highlight of the Bears Preview are the Bear's fans contributions, which read like Packer fans have submitted them instead. They are at the end of the preview and are well worth the visit.

http://deadspin.com/5935713/why-your-team-sucks-2012-chicago-bears

Favorite so far:

Steve:
Growing up we would play football in a field near my house. We had a play called 'the Cade McNown'. After the snap, the QB would run to the sideline as quick as possible and throw up an awful side arm pass as far as he could. I wish I was joking.

[mraynrand]

Growing up we would play football in a field near my house. We had a play called 'the Cade McNown'. After the snap, the QB would run to the sideline as quick as possible and throw up an awful side arm pass as far as he could.

or twenty yards, whichever is shorter...

[Freak Out]

Todd:

"Despite having an OL that has given up the most sacks in the NFL over the last two seasons (105) we selected zero OL in the draft. ZERO! And don't think that's because we picked up a stud OL via free agency because that didn't happen either. And get this: Mike Tice, the OL coach responsible for the worst OL in football the past two years, just got PROMOTED to Offensive Coordinator. You can't make this shit up."

[mraynrand]

Todd:

"Despite having an OL that has given up the most sacks in the NFL over the last two seasons (105) we selected zero OL in the draft. ZERO! And don't think that's because we picked up a stud OL via free agency because that didn't happen either. And get this: Mike Tice, the OL coach responsible for the worst OL in football the past two years, just got PROMOTED to Offensive Coordinator. You can't make this shit up."

Yeah, but they got rid of the dumbass OC who kept trying to run the Greatest Show on Turf with third tier WRs. The Bears - unfortunately - are going to be better this year.

[Freak Out]

http://deadspin.com/5936676/why-your-team-sucks-2012-green-bay-packers

[pbmax]

http://deadspin.com/5936676/why-your...en-bay-packers

I love the open hostility. Cleanses the soul. And the sinuses.

[Pugger]

Aww, poor baby. As long as he talking about Wisconsin we should give him some cheese to go with that whine.

I'll bet our ridiculous success over the years is why some folks HATE us and our franchise. Sucks to be them.

[Fritz]

That's true, pugger. Nobody really hated the Pack when Forrest Gregg was coach, except maybe Forrest Gregg.

[Zool]

Some of the fan write-ins say funny true shit. Some are flat out stupid.

Also according to the US Govt, Minnesota is fatter per capita than is Wisconsin. Take that you fatter fuckers. I'm sitting in this land of 10000 lakes (sweet job on the math btw) trying to bring the states obesity levels down while watching people eat fried fucking snickers bars at the state fair.

[Cheesehead Craig]

Some of the fan write-ins say funny true shit. Some are flat out stupid.

Also according to the US Govt, Minnesota is fatter per capita than is Wisconsin. Take that you fatter fuckers. I'm sitting in this land of 10000 lakes (sweet job on the math btw) trying to bring the states obesity levels down while watching people eat fried fucking snickers bars at the state fair.

Zool, if you happen to be at the fair next Wed let me know. We'll have a fried fucking snickers bar.

[Pugger]

That's true, pugger. Nobody really hated the Pack when Forrest Gregg was coach, except maybe Forrest Gregg.

God, those were horrible years!!!

[Guiness]

Some of the fan write-ins say funny true shit. Some are flat out stupid.

Also according to the US Govt, Minnesota is fatter per capita than is Wisconsin. Take that you fatter fuckers. I'm sitting in this land of 10000 lakes (sweet job on the math btw) trying to bring the states obesity levels down while watching people eat fried fucking snickers bars at the state fair.

You're in charge of making Minnesotan's less fat? Richard Simmons, is that you?

[Zool]

You're in charge of making Minnesotan's less fat? Richard Simmons, is that you?

Not in charge, just trying to keep the average down by staying on one end of the bell curve.

[Gunakor]

Some of the fan write-ins say funny true shit. Some are flat out stupid.

Also according to the US Govt, Minnesota is fatter per capita than is Wisconsin. Take that you fatter fuckers. I'm sitting in this land of 10000 lakes (sweet job on the math btw) trying to bring the states obesity levels down while watching people eat fried fucking snickers bars at the state fair.

I don't think the deep fried snickers bars are what's doing it. Here in Wisconsin we serve greasy bacon cheeseburgers - with deep fried, chocolate covered bacon - on a Krispy Kreme donut rather than a bun, and a side of deep fried butter. How you guys managed to out-fat us is beyond comprehension, but congratulations!

[George Cumby]

I don't think the deep fried snickers bars are what's doing it. Here in Wisconsin we serve greasy bacon cheeseburgers - with deep fried, chocolate covered bacon - on a Krispy Kreme donut rather than a bun, and a side of deep fried butter. How you guys managed to out-fat us is beyond comprehension, but congratulations!

Don't forget the Culver's Butter Burger with the side of onion rings and the caramel apple frozen custard sundae.