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Like the great Bob McGinn, I don't post my assessment on the Packers until after I re-watch every play of the Packers' latest game in half an hour on "NFL Shortcuts." And like McGinn, I call it like I see it.
With a victory over the downtrodden Bears, the Packers clinched the NFC North. But as some basketball team from Chicago used to say, it doesn't mean a thing without the muttafucca ring.
Here are the Mice and Men for the Packer-Bear rematch, a rematch that rivals only Holyfield Vs. Tyson, part duex.
Mice (Duds):
Crosby - The Bears' new/old kicker is 300 or 400 years old and he hasn't kicked since the Renaissance. Still, vampire Orlindo Mare out-kicked and out-played the Snowman Mason Crosby. If everyone had the same job security that Crosby has, we all would be living in a Mars society (note: I wanna delete "s" and add "xist" next to "Mar" but this forum ain't FYI).
McCarthy - The Packers may be better than the Bears offensively, and once in a blue moon, defensively, but their special teams will never be better than the Bears' as long as Lovie Smith is boss there. McCarthy tried to outshine Smith with the boneheaded Cobb to Ross gadget play; it backfired like Marshall Newhouse falling on his rear end. McCarthy is also a rodent for not feeding DuJuan Harris the rock enough.
Kuhn - Why the fuck is this guy still getting rushing attempts? Just a waste of downs every time Kuhn carries the ball. And please, McCarthy, stop playing this guy on third downs. Kuhn doesnt scare anyone as a receiving threat.
Newhouse - This guy has got to be the worst LT in the NFL. Newhouse is not strong and he falls on his butt very often. One play, Peppers zipped right by Newhouse with not even a push, Newhouse fell right on his butt, and Rodgers got sacked.
Grant - Fumble was inexcusable. I was once a big fan of Grant (and yes, he's still very handsome), but now I am in favor of playing Harris over Grant.
Men (Studs):
J-Mike - Of Finley's 5 receptions, 3 of them converted 3rd downs; Finley also drew pass interference on the 3rd down play in the redzone - a play in which Rodgers overthrew him. Contrary to popular belief, it was not J-Mike's fault on the play that saw Peppers hit Rodgers freely for a 15 yards penalty; J-Mike was in fact WIDE OPEN but Rodgers chose to throw to a well covered Greg Jennings instead. The long reception over the middle on the seam route was awesome.
Cobb - Continues playing at a high level. A couple of negatives in this game though: dropped a slightly overthrown ball that could've gone for 6 if caught, and the "lateral" to Ross was slightly under-thrown.
James Jones - 3 touchdowns were second only to Al Bundy's 4 tds. Would've done me wonder in fantasy football but unfortunately I am no longer playing in all of my leagues.
Shields - If this guy were in the NBA, he'd get fined for flopping. Ok, I keed. But Shields is not very strong. He falls down easily. Got lucky he was getting calls in this game. Flopping aside, Shields covered very well.
The Claymaker - If only he weren't a wimp with his hammy, this guy would be threatening the sack record and in the run for DPY. In my humble opinion, Matthews' "sexy boy" sack celebration was kinda, well, queer. But I would love to use it as my avatar if anyone could make a gif of it for moi.
Capers - Another MVP game plan by Capers, although covering Marshall with LBs on the Bears only td drive kinda suck (including on Marshall's td catch). Raji played well. Hayward got a gift from 'same ole Jay.' Hawk and Jones played well after a slow start. Burnett was godawful on the pass interference but overall he had a nice game. Overall, defense dominated "da" Bears.
Rodgers - Made some nice throws. But I am starting to worry about the long balls. Rodgers slightly overthrew Cobb in the red zone in the 1st or 2nd quarter. Ditto, the play in which Finely drew PI. And once again, Rodgers overthrew an open Jennings on a bomb late in the game. Awaiting Patler to show up to provide me with some numbers that bombs only hit about 10% of the time.
With a victory over the downtrodden Bears, the Packers clinched the NFC North. But as some basketball team from Chicago used to say, it doesn't mean a thing without the muttafucca ring.
Here are the Mice and Men for the Packer-Bear rematch, a rematch that rivals only Holyfield Vs. Tyson, part duex.
Mice (Duds):
Crosby - The Bears' new/old kicker is 300 or 400 years old and he hasn't kicked since the Renaissance. Still, vampire Orlindo Mare out-kicked and out-played the Snowman Mason Crosby. If everyone had the same job security that Crosby has, we all would be living in a Mars society (note: I wanna delete "s" and add "xist" next to "Mar" but this forum ain't FYI).
McCarthy - The Packers may be better than the Bears offensively, and once in a blue moon, defensively, but their special teams will never be better than the Bears' as long as Lovie Smith is boss there. McCarthy tried to outshine Smith with the boneheaded Cobb to Ross gadget play; it backfired like Marshall Newhouse falling on his rear end. McCarthy is also a rodent for not feeding DuJuan Harris the rock enough.
Kuhn - Why the fuck is this guy still getting rushing attempts? Just a waste of downs every time Kuhn carries the ball. And please, McCarthy, stop playing this guy on third downs. Kuhn doesnt scare anyone as a receiving threat.
Newhouse - This guy has got to be the worst LT in the NFL. Newhouse is not strong and he falls on his butt very often. One play, Peppers zipped right by Newhouse with not even a push, Newhouse fell right on his butt, and Rodgers got sacked.
Grant - Fumble was inexcusable. I was once a big fan of Grant (and yes, he's still very handsome), but now I am in favor of playing Harris over Grant.
Men (Studs):
J-Mike - Of Finley's 5 receptions, 3 of them converted 3rd downs; Finley also drew pass interference on the 3rd down play in the redzone - a play in which Rodgers overthrew him. Contrary to popular belief, it was not J-Mike's fault on the play that saw Peppers hit Rodgers freely for a 15 yards penalty; J-Mike was in fact WIDE OPEN but Rodgers chose to throw to a well covered Greg Jennings instead. The long reception over the middle on the seam route was awesome.
Cobb - Continues playing at a high level. A couple of negatives in this game though: dropped a slightly overthrown ball that could've gone for 6 if caught, and the "lateral" to Ross was slightly under-thrown.
James Jones - 3 touchdowns were second only to Al Bundy's 4 tds. Would've done me wonder in fantasy football but unfortunately I am no longer playing in all of my leagues.
Shields - If this guy were in the NBA, he'd get fined for flopping. Ok, I keed. But Shields is not very strong. He falls down easily. Got lucky he was getting calls in this game. Flopping aside, Shields covered very well.
The Claymaker - If only he weren't a wimp with his hammy, this guy would be threatening the sack record and in the run for DPY. In my humble opinion, Matthews' "sexy boy" sack celebration was kinda, well, queer. But I would love to use it as my avatar if anyone could make a gif of it for moi.
Capers - Another MVP game plan by Capers, although covering Marshall with LBs on the Bears only td drive kinda suck (including on Marshall's td catch). Raji played well. Hayward got a gift from 'same ole Jay.' Hawk and Jones played well after a slow start. Burnett was godawful on the pass interference but overall he had a nice game. Overall, defense dominated "da" Bears.
Rodgers - Made some nice throws. But I am starting to worry about the long balls. Rodgers slightly overthrew Cobb in the red zone in the 1st or 2nd quarter. Ditto, the play in which Finely drew PI. And once again, Rodgers overthrew an open Jennings on a bomb late in the game. Awaiting Patler to show up to provide me with some numbers that bombs only hit about 10% of the time.
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